


The Demon's Way

by Ryoko21



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Biting, Demonic Possession, Dubious Consent, Hyena Xander Harris, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Pack Dynamics, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicidal Thoughts, Threesome - M/M/M, Vampire Sex, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-02-05 17:36:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 29
Words: 81,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1826524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryoko21/pseuds/Ryoko21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Oz loses himself to the wolf, he's captured and sold to a vampire and his hyena consort. Will he ever be able to escape? When the time comes, will he want to? </p><p>This story is cannon until the last season of Buffy, then it turns into AU. This fic uses alpha/beta/omega pack dynamics for werewolves, but it is not a heat-fic and does not include Mpreg aspects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The History of Oz

            I don’t know when everything went to hell. I don’t know how the slayers’ council let everything get out of hand. I’d heard, through sparse phone calls to Willow, that something big was happening with one of the master vampires. The council was worried that he was getting too old and too crazy to keep control of his minions and the other vampires and that a war between vampire lineages could break out, but Willow hadn’t seemed worried. Buffy had taken care of everything else, right? How could one little vampire war stop her?

            But somehow, I kind of think it did. In the months following that conversation, I started noticing that the demons were getting more aggressive, and the vampires were getting more numerous. It wasn’t noticeable to humans at all, but a werewolf’s keen sense of smell let me see a lone demon where everyone else just saw a human. Soon, I was seeing lone demons surrounded by humans, and then groups of demons amongst groups of humans, and then eventually groups of demons surrounding lone humans. I tried to convince the human to come away, when I could, but without sounding crazy there wasn’t too much I could do. When push came to shove, I was no match for a bunch of demons. Hell, with my size and stature, I was barely a match for a lone demon. So if the human wouldn’t be convinced away from his or her death, most of the time all I could do was watch.

            But maybe that was my mistake. Maybe too much watching and not enough fighting was what caused my whole problem. Eventually, you see, the demons stopped hunting the guests and the groupies, and went after my band. I tried to stop them. I let the beast out, but it was no match for them. The wolf howled and fought, because it thought of the band as its pack, but it was no use.

            I was badly wounded when I finally managed to get away. Some scratches to my back were painful and bled profusely, but I was really worried about the gouge to my knee and a few deep scratches to my stomach. I had an apartment only a few blocks away and I managed to limp to it, but when I got there it had been trashed and smelled of demons. Maybe someone in the band had led the demons there, or maybe they’d tried to follow me to tie up the lose end, but whatever the reason everything I owned was suddenly gone. Even the tour van had been destroyed. With no money, no allies close by, a wounded leg, and the threat of demons following me, I let the wolf take over, and slipped into the shadows.

I think some of it must have been shock. I’ve noticed before that the wolf has an easier time taking control when I’m confused or upset. I think mentally I just wanted to hide from what had happened, from what I’d allowed to happen. My band had been my family, and now I was alone.

I spent a few days hiding in the sewers and trying to heal the wound on my leg. My back became infected and I became feverish. By the time I had mostly healed, I was weak from sickness and hunger, and the wolf realized that I needed a pack or I probably wouldn’t survive.

But entering a wolf pack is never an easy thing, especially a werewolf pack. If you aren’t family, then you often have to fight for entrance into the pack, and even then you must work your way up from the bottom. For someone of my size, it was nearly impossible to get to the top of the pack. Only my wits would lend me any kind of upward motion in the pack hierarchy, and even that was little to none because intelligence wasn’t highly prized among werewolves.

In the past, I’d used this fact to my advantage. It had been far easier to keep the werewolf in me from wanting to join a pack where it would always be right on the edge of being kicked out than in a pack where he would be a strong member. Now, though, the werewolf was dominating the human, and it wanted a pack no matter what, so it found the nearest one, fought through a few of the lesser wolves, and made a large show of submission to the dominant male.

I’d never had much experience with the werewolf packs. Since the day I’d found out about being a werewolf, my focus was on ignoring or suppressing its instincts. So, when I finally got in the pack, I was in no way prepared for it. I didn’t know about all the biting and licking that was going on. I didn’t understand why I was laying on my belly just so the larger wolf could grab my neck in his jaws. I didn’t understand why I would stay near the pack when it fed me little and only when there was extra, and then stole what I had hunted when there was no other food. I didn’t understand why I tolerated the constant bites to my legs and arms. I didn’t understand, but I wasn’t in control so it really didn’t matter.

The other problem with being the smallest in the pack is that there’s very little you can do to protect yourself. As the lowest ranking and smallest pack member, I pretty much became the bitch of the larger males. Whenever they had a rough day or were just in a bad mood, they took it out on me. I was lucky enough to only be with the pack for a few weeks, because from the looks some of the larger males were giving me I was a little worried about what might happen if they got in a really bad mood. It wasn’t the right season for mating, and I’d already seen the alpha male satisfy himself with one of the other low ranking males. The coupling was harsh, brutal, and completed right in the middle of the pack, so everyone could watch. It was humiliating to the bottom, who yelped and shrieked from when he was entered until hours after he was released. It was so far from the little experience my human side had with sex, even homosexual sex, that it almost seemed like rape. To the wolf, though, there wasn’t anything wrong with it, and he was well aware that the same could easily happen to him. He’d try to get away from the pain, of course, but he would in the end bend to the will of the alpha.

The only good thing I found about this pack was that their leader never let them hunt humans. The pack spent more than half its time as wolves, and what little it spent as humans was always when they were resting in an abandoned building where they’d set up a kind of den. I found out after a while that the vampires in the area had formed a deal with the pack leader, which let the pack hunt in the surrounding woods as long as they left the humans for the vampires. For a time, the pack was happy with that, but eventually they got cocky and went hunting for humans. I stayed to the back, my human side having reemerged enough to be upset with the idea of killing people. So, from my vantage point at the rear of the group, I was able to watch a group of six or so vampires kill the alphas of the pack and capture the rest. I turned to run, but it was already too late and I was captured by the faster, stronger vampires.

That was the last I saw of my former pack, and while the wolf in me howled in disappointment, the reemerging human was at least pleased to see them go, although the situation I found myself in wasn’t much of a step up.

 


	2. Rutting

The vampires sold the lot of us to some kind of demon who ran a sort of underground demonic pet shop. I was separated from the rest of the pack and taken to a small row of cages with several other species of demon and were beasts.

It took me two days to realize that I was in some kind of demonic brothel. Vampires and other demons brought their, for lack of a better word, pets to the shop to breed or be bred by a demon of the same species. If it weren’t for my wolf’s sense of smell and hearing, I probably never would have realized what was going on, but it could hear the sounds of the entering pets calling for a mate, and it could smell lust on the leashed ones and fear on the caged ones. The knowledge helped to mentally prepare me for what was to come, but I’m not sure I was any happier to have it.

I had only been in the place for a week before someone purchased me. I think the shop owner had been starting to regret his decision to place me in the breeding section, because he spoke harshly to me in a strange dialect and kicked at my cage when he fed me. If he fed me. Then again, though, he didn’t treat any of the other creatures better, but I hadn’t seen any of them going for a week without a purchase either. I think the owner had assumed my size would make me ideal for dominant females or something. Of course, it wasn’t always for breeding purposes, and sometimes a lusty demon or vampire would stop buy just to screw something different, I guess. Still, it seemed that whether it was for themselves or for their pets, no one wanted to breed with someone as scrawny as me, or even to let them screw me. I had thought I’d at least get a quick fuck out of the whole ordeal, but now it seemed like I wasn’t even going to get that.

It turned out that I was going to get exactly that, unfortunately. I was going to get fucked. It had been four days without food when my buyer showed up, and with my wounds I was pretty weak. It was hard to focus on what they were saying while I drifted in and out of consciousness, but there was something familiar about the scent of this particular purchaser, this particular vampire, that made me take notice. I heard him ask if I’d even been taken by a male before, and I heard the owner reply that he didn’t think I had. And then I tried to turn my head to look at the person who was buying me, and everything swirled to black.

I suppose I shouldn’t have been too worried. If the man had tried to screw me in the shape I was in I wouldn’t have been conscious enough for it anyway. Maybe it would have been better if I’d been taken right then, because I never would have remembered it, but instead I assume the man paid a rather hefty sum for me and left. Whatever happened, I woke up to find a bowl of raw meat in front of me, and the wolf was devouring it before the human could even wonder why it was there, or why it was being constantly refilled. I was lucky that I hadn’t been sold as a delicacy, because I’m sure the wolf would have kept eating until I was fat enough to feed a family of five. Or… a coven, I suppose. What the hell did vampires form, anyway?

The vampire left me alone for four days, and it wasn’t until I found myself howling at the moon that I realized he was probably going to return during the full moon, when I would be most susceptible to my demonic side. The next night my suspicions were confirmed as the owner packed me up in a large crate and wheeled me out into a waiting truck, and then into a strange new building that reeked of vampires. I was hungry, having not been fed all day, and energized to hunt by the moon. The tension and anxiety in me was driving the wolf insane, and by the time we arrived at our destination I was pacing my cage, growling, and the demon almost had complete control. I was so far out of it that I couldn’t make out what the owner and my buyer were saying, though later I would remember it perfectly.

            “He’s lively tonight, my lord. Are you sure you don’t wish him to be sedated? This will be his first time submitting to another male. He will fight if he’s not sedated, and the ordeal will be harder on him. He could hurt your pet, or he could get hurt. I wouldn’t want you to lose your investment.”

            “I wish him luck in hurting my whelp- that idiot’s tough as nails. As to getting hurt, I’ve trained my boy better than that. He won’t get anything more than some scratches and love bites.”

            “He’ll fight tooth and nail.”

            “Good. I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings about what’s going on here. Now send ‘im in before he rips the bars off of that cage. My pet’s anxious to meet his new pet.”

            I growled low in my throat, as the crate started moving as it was pushed up against a wall with an opening to another cage. I tensed as they started to open the door. The wolf was in control and it could smell the pheromones of the other male, and it wasn’t going down without a fight. My body tensed, ready to pounce into the battle, when breeze from the room hit me square in the face and I realized the other demon wasn’t a wolf at all.

            It was a hyena.

            My body shook and the wolf backed into a corner, growling in fear. I might have had a shot against another wolf, but the hyena would tear me to shreds even if I did submit. The wolf looked around frantically, hoping for some way to escape.

            But something shoved hard against my back and, unprepared, I fell through the door and it was slammed behind me. I darted across the room and tried to find something to hide under, but there was no luck; the room was bare. I snarled, backing into a corner as I frantically looked for my opponent.

            The hyena was huge. Not that I had come up against many wolves that actually look small compared to me, simply that this demon was actually larger than most of the wolves I had come up against. Standing up straight it was probably a full foot taller than me, and with broad shoulders and a mass of heavy fur he just looked huge compared to me.

I snarled fiercely, backing as far as I could into my corner, but the hyena would not be deterred. He pounced on me, knocking me out of the corner and dragging me into the center of the room. I struggled, but I was no match for the bigger monster.

Once I was away from any kind of shelter, the hyena released me and began to circle me. I knew what was coming next. Werewolves and other demons might not take everything from the habits of their animal counterparts, but almost all demons required some show of submission to the stronger demon. I tried to run away from the hyena once and received a sharp nip to the neck before I was flung back where he had put me. He overcame me so easily that the wolf knew it had no chance of fighting and surrendered, prostrating my body on the ground, belly up, and waiting for the larger male to perform a show of dominance.

The hyena didn’t keep me waiting. Almost immediately he padded up and began sniffing my neck. The wolf put my head back, exposing my tender neck and belly to the jaws of the larger demon. The hyena could have easily ripped my throat out, but instead he firmly took my throat in his jaws. I could feel his sharp teeth pressing against my skin and his hot breath on my fur-covered flesh, but I remained completely still and limp. Fighting this really would get me ripped apart.

The show of dominance lasted a few minutes until the hyena was sure that I would not fight it, and then he released me and backed up a few steps. The wolf got me to stand up, although the human in me wanted to remain on the floor shivering in fear. Did you know that a hyena can eat right through the bones of a zebra? I felt like a marshmallow peep, for all I could do to protect myself.

The wolf, though, knew that the only way to ensure future safety was to assert my submissiveness, if that makes any sense. Before the human in me had managed to crawl out of the fetal position, the wolf in me was licking at the hyena’s neck and face, with my tail lowered and my stomach rubbing against the floor. I was even whining softly, with a “Please don’t eat me” tone to it. The hyena, with his ears up and his tail high in a show of confidence, sniffed me all over, even taking the liberty of sticking his nose into my crotch. Wolves don’t do that generally, but I knew better than to freak out with the hyena’s powerful jaws were so close to my manhood. Being a eunuch certainly wouldn’t help me with my plan for not being the bitch for the rest of my life.

Unfortunately, the hyena didn’t seem to keen on helping me with that plan either. Once he finished sniffing me and rubbing his scent all over my body to mark me as one of his pack, he got behind me and prepared to mount.

I don’t know who flipped out first, the human or the wolf. All I know is this; one of us panicked, turned and snarled at the hyena, and in the next instant I was on my back with the hyena’s teeth firmly grasping my throat while he humped me from the front. The human went back into the fetal position, and the wolf realized what a terrible mistake it had made and started whining submissively. The hyena held me a few more moments and I got to feel those sharp teeth against my neck once again before he released me. The wolf tensed, knowing that the usual punishment for a rejection of dominance like this was a show of dominance, which usually meant some pretty painful bites. The wolf was a little surprised when the hyena moved downward to nose at my crotch again and the wolf realized that the hyena was going to mark me as its mate. That wasn’t terribly shocking, since mate in the general demon circle just means that I would be his bitch and his only bitch until the next full moon, when he could choose to keep or reject me. Still, being taken as a mate meant getting some pretty serious bites to the thighs since the mating was only official if the hyena took my blood. Still, the wolf knew that resisting was pointless and would only mean stronger bites and more severe damage, so it held still while the hyena mouthed my groin and eventually started biting my thighs.

The wolf and human were both a little shocked at how gentle the bites were. Remember how a hyena can eat bones? And yet the hyena barely even broke the skin, and only made me bleed in one spot. After a few bites that were barely enough to make the wolf yelp, the hyena backed off and let the wolf stand. The wolf counted itself as lucky, and the human in me wondered at the hyena. There was something strangely gentle about the creature, especially considering the ferocity of its species. There was something familiar about it, but it was hard to place with the fur that came just to the edge of its face and the slightly protruding muzzle. I realized with a start that the hyena hadn’t fully transformed into its were-form, and more startling was the fact that neither had I. I think now that knowing that I was going to have to face the hyena had forced my human part to stay awake to help deal with the threat, which wouldn’t allow me to undergo a full change into my werewolf form. At the time, though, I was flabbergasted.

Not flabbergasted enough, however, to allow the hyena to mount me without so much as a whimper. As he tried to get behind me, I turned to face him and whined, but it only got me a fierce nip on the shoulder and a powerful swat that turned me around. I crouched down, whimpering as he mounted me and bit down on the back of my neck. In the next instant he thrust into me, and the wolf snarled at the burning sensation, but the human in me recognized that the thing inside me was a lot slicker than precum would make it.

It was over in a matter of minutes, which isn’t surprising considering that the were-species, being partly animals, don’t feel the pleasure of sex as acutely as humans, so there’s no reason to prolong the encounter. The hyena came with a chilling yip and pulled out of me, falling to the side panting. The wolf, sore and frightened but still submissive, slid up beside him and, after a few submissive licks to his face, fell asleep pressed up against the hyena.


	3. A Vampire's Seduction

What the hell would the pups look like?

That was the first thing I could think of when I woke to realize that I had been mated to a hyena. I mean, I knew it was impossible since we were A) of the same gender and B) of different species, but it was the only thought in my head that didn’t hold that tingle thread of panic that really wanted to take over now that the human was firmly in charge again.

Annoying questions like “What happens to me now?” and “What if the hyena was the nicer personality?” kept popping into my head and making my heart pound too hard. I could usually take anything that was thrown at me, but I really did draw the line at being somebody’s sex-slave. But what could I do? The hyena was obviously larger, stronger, and faster than me, and I was sure the wolf would be in the back of my mind the whole time trying to convince me to submit when I really just wanted to run for it.

To make matters worse, my body was aching from being in a cage so long and then suddenly having to duel with a demon a lot stronger than I was. And the hyena hadn’t hurt me nearly as much as he could have, but he certainly hadn’t been gentle either. I felt like I’d been used as a cat toy.

But the worst part about the whole thing was probably the fact that I could hear the beast snoring at my back, and I knew in a matter of hours he’d wake up and I’d have to face the human that I was now practically enslaved to and recognize that the wolf wouldn’t let me alone about this. I could feel the wolf in the back of my mind and I knew that it was just as frightened of these changes as the human in me was, and that it was desperate for a pack. Desperate enough to make me submit to whatever the hyena wanted, be it rape or hunting humans. Maybe I was just afraid to realize that the human in me was probably just as desperate for acceptance as the wolf.

I’m going to use the past month of physical and emotional trauma as an excuse for why I broke down, but I was soon sobbing and whining and trying desperately not to wake the strange man beside me.

I failed, but it was probably for the best. A few minutes after I started sobbing I heard him stir behind me and soon felt a warm hand on my shoulder. He must have still been half asleep, but he pulled me toward him and nuzzled my neck, crooning soothingly. In another minute the animal sounds turned into the soft, comforting noises of a human as the man behind me fully awoke.

“Shh,” I heard him whisper behind me. “I know it hurts, but it’ll fade in a bit. There’s no need to get so upset.”

There was something warm and familiar in his voice that made turn. I found myself staring into a pair of painfully familiar brown eyes.

“X-Xander?”

“Long time no see, huh? I’d ask how you’ve been, but it’s pretty obvious that you’ve been better.”

“When did you become a hyena?”

“Oh. Um… well, actually, it was before I even met you. I got possessed by a hyena when I first met up with Buffy. We got rid of it, but when things got rough it came back and took full control.”

“So you’re like a were-hyena now?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Technically I’m a shiftable hyena demon, but it’s really the same thing. There’s some stipulation about you have to be bitten to be called a were-animal, but there’s no real difference. Still, it’s pretty cool, huh?”

“Weird would probably be a better word, but whatever.”

“Yeah, but nobody’s ever normal on the hellmouth, right?”

“A hyena-demon screwing a werewolf? I’d say that’s weird even for the hellmouth.”

“Well… yeah, I guess, but… uh… there’s something I should really talk to you about…”

“Clothes.”

“Huh?”

“You should talk to me about clothes. Specifically where I can get them,” I told him, pulling away slightly. Now that I knew it was Xander with me I was getting all these strange feelings. A part of me was fine being naked with him, especially after what we’d just done, but another part was getting confused and feeling like I was back in high school again. I was just waiting for a teacher to come in and start yelling.

Speaking of being confused, I realized suddenly that we weren’t in a cave or anything like what my wolf had thought last night. Instead, we were in a room with stone walls and no furniture except the mats that were, I assumed, covering up the stones on the floor. It was dim, with the only light coming from some candles lit on the walls, which must have been the reason my wolf had felt so at home. I, on the other hand, had a sudden feeling of claustrophobia.

“Where are we?”

“Well, see, that’s the thing. We’re in a castle that belongs to…”

“A castle? So we’re still in Europe?” I asked, pulling away from Xander and standing up. Now that I could fully see him, I noticed how different he seemed than the old Xander. That awkwardness that had practically defined the Xander I knew from high school was gone. His body, completely naked, showed no signs of the hyena he had been last night, but it looked strong and powerful nonetheless. He had the same broad shoulders and long legs as before, but it seemed almost like he knew how to use them better now, even from their position as he lay on the floor. He didn’t radiate dominance like alphas usually did, but he didn’t seem shy or submissive to me either. He was confident, but not domineering. I think it was that aspect of him that allowed me to ignore the wolf in my head and start looking for a way out. Even if this was Xander, or maybe it was because it was him, I didn’t want to stay here and be his bitch.

“Of course. How else would we have found you?”

“What were you doing in Europe?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, if you’d just sit still and listen,” Xander said, and I could tell he was getting annoyed, but the wolf wasn’t in control anymore and I just wanted out of there.

“I don’t want to sit down. I just want to know where the door is,” I told him, starting to feel my war around the walls. There had to be a door somewhere.

“Look, Oz, you aren’t going anywhere and we don’t have a lot of time. I’d like to explain all this to you before…”

“Before what?” I asked, turning toward him. “Because I hate to tell you this, man, but I’m not sticking around. I’m outta here just as soon as I find a door,” I said, and resumed my search for the door. I knew there had to be one, how else would we have gotten in here? Unless they walled it up over night, which was possible in this situation.

“Where would you go? And what’s so goddamn bad about this situation anyhow?” Xander said, and I heard him go from annoyed to angry and upset, but I didn’t stop in my search.

“I’m not just going to roll over for you, Xander. I can’t control what the wolf does at night, but I’m my own man during the day. I’m not something that can be bought and sold, and I’m certainly not going to be your slave!”

“Oz, you’re getting this all wrong. You really need to hear me out…”

“No, what I need to do is find the damn door!” I snapped.

Everything happened in rapid succession after that. I realized that I had been standing right in front of the door the whole time, only there was no knob on the inside to indicate that. The door flew open and just barely managed to miss hitting my face.

“You’ve found the door, Puppy,” a deep, foreboding British voice told me. “But you’re not getting out.”

I backed up rapidly, tripping over my own feet and falling to the floor in front of Xander, never once taking my eyes off the figure in front of me.

“S-Spike?”

“Didn’t know if you’d remember me, pup. ‘S been so long since Sunnyhell. But, since you do remember me, we can skip the introductions, right?”

“What are you doing here?”

“Eh, me? I’m on vacation! Bein’ a Big Bad all the time was getting’ pretty boring, so I decided to take me a nice long rest in the old country. Even wanted to take a look at the local market, I did, and damned if I didn’t manage to find myself a new pet,” he said, leering at me predatorily. My blood went cold with the realization that Spike, not Xander, had purchased me. That meant that last night had been… fuck… had that been so Spike could watch? Did Spike get some sick amusement out of seeing me humiliated?

“What’s wrong, Puppy?” Spike asked, stepping closer and letting the door close behind him. He leaned down in front of me and I realized just how starkly naked I was compared to the fully-clothed vampire. “You were barkin’ up a storm a second ago. I guess there’s no bite in that pretty little mouth.”

“Spike, knock it off,” Xander growled, pulling me against his chest. “I think you’ve proved your point. There’s no need to terrorize him.”

“Need my ass. ‘M just makin’ sure the little whelp isn’t gonna give you trouble.”

“He just got fucked by a demon, and possibly by a man, for the first time. I’d be going to freaksville myself.”

“Che. That’s no excuse for bad manners.”

“You’re one to talk!”

“Oi! I’ll have you know that I was trained by the finest teacher in London! I even drink my blood with my pinky up and all the rot.”

“Yeah, I really don’t think manners count when you’re eating someone.”

“Now that’s where you’re wrong. First rule in the Londoner’s Guide to Good Manners is that they always count, from ripping someone’s throat out to seducing virgins.”

“You just made that up!”

“Yeah. Anyway, now that we’re on the topic of seducing virgins…” Spike said, getting to his knees and leering at me. “How about I show you how mannerly I can be about it?”

“Fuck off, Spike,” I growled, backing even further into Xander’s chest in an attempt to get away from the vampire.

“I guess that rules out the easy way, then. ‘S cool. The hard way’s a lot more fun,” he said, grinning viciously, and before I even knew it he had revealed his true face and had a firm grip on my jugular.

The human in me went completely catatonic. The rational part of my brain just stood up, brushed off its hands, and walked out. My mental state started doing shots of vodka.

But the wolf in me recognized yet another dominant male, and submitted eagerly. Two animals couldn’t make a pack, it rationalized as best it could, but three could. It wasn’t terribly pleased at the prospect of being the lowest ranking in the hierarchy, but it wasn’t shocked. So it went limp and whined deep in my throat, letting the vampire know that we would submit.

But even the wolf freaked out when Spike pushed my legs apart and unzipped his pants.


	4. Coming Together

The wolf bared its teeth and struggled to move away from the vampire, but Xander had caught me around the middle and, with the hyena’s strength, was holding me still without much trouble. Spike grabbed my throat again when he saw me struggling, putting just enough pressure on that I could feel how sharp those teeth were, then releasing again when I stilled. I suppose I should be grateful he didn’t tear my throat out, but actually I was kind of disappointed.

“Grab his legs, love,” I heard him say to Xander as my human started coming to. I felt Xander’s arms release mine and take a hold of my legs right below my knees. He pulled my legs back, up, and apart, leaving me completely open to the vampire that was about to take me. Spike, finished freeing his manhood from his pants, grabbed my hands in one of his, so that I couldn’t even scratch or struggle, and leaned down to nibble at my thigh. I gasped and sobbed, thrashing my head wildly, but Xander grabbed the back of my neck in his powerful jaws and forced me to submit. I was helpless in the grip of two larger, stronger demons.

Spike didn’t nibble for long. After a few cursory licks to the area, he bit down on my bruised thigh, opposite to the one where Xander had bitten last night, and I realized suddenly that I was about to be mated to both of them. The wolf in me howled in distress, but only panicked gasps escaped my lips as Spike drank languidly from the small cut he’d created.

“Shh,” he whispered softly against my skin, then licked the wound closed. “’S almost over. Few rough minutes, then you’ll be right as rain.”

“Minutes, huh?” I heard Xander tease from behind me, and I realized he’d released my neck so that he could nuzzle my spine. “More like seconds.”

“Oi!” Spike hissed, offended. “see if we can’t put your mouth to better use, you spoiled prat,” he said, thrusting his hand over my shoulder. I heard Xander hum and the nuzzling of my neck stopped for a moment. When Spike pulled his hand back, two of his fingers were wet. I didn’t have time to contemplate what Xander had been doing as Spike pressed one of the slick fingers into me.

I snarled. Xander had been rough last night, and I was sorer than I could have imagined down there. I tried to kick out of Xander’s grip, but he held firm, murmuring soothingly into my ear as Spike relentlessly pressed the digit deeper into me. I gasped as icy shivers of pain went up my spin. Spike started moving his finger inside me and I cried out in pain.

“God, Xan, d’you screw him with a knife last night or what?” Spike asked in frustration, pulling his finger out

“Well excuse me if I wasn’t as suave and debonair as I had hoped. It was your idea to do it animal style anyway.”

“It would have taken too long to get through to the human. Romance is tedious and bloody borin’. ‘Sides, the wolf knows who he belongs to now. Heh. Or he’s about to,” Spike said, grasping my hips and pressing his dick against my entrance. As the head penetrated me, I screamed in pain.

But… once the head got through, it really wasn’t all that bad. I was still sobbing, but probably from the humiliation more than the actual hurt. Spike didn’t thrust into me wildly, but gave me time to adjust as he pressed in slowly. And, after a minute, the pain started to fade and his thrusts were less painful and really just… annoying. It didn’t help much that Xander still had me folded nearly in half, with my legs spread out like a wishbone.

Of course, that position was about as bad for Spike as it was for me, because he couldn’t get a good enough grip to really thrust into me, and I heard him growl in frustration before giving up.

“Bloody hell! Give him here! I’ve had about enough of this, Karma Sutra be damned!” he said, pulling me away from Xander and, while I was still mostly impaled on his shaft, spinning me around so that I was on my knees. I would have been kind of impressed, if he hadn’t been… you know… fucking me.

Once I was on my knees where he could get a good, solid grip on me, Spike snapped his hips forward and buried himself to the hilt. I cried out, but it was in surprise more than pain. Xander, meanwhile, had moved from his original position and was now on all fours again, doing that thing where he sniffed at my groin. Spike stopped long enough to smile at him as he looked up inquisitively.

“Sure thing, pet. ‘E’s human enough. He’ll love it. Go on, see if you can’t make him howl,” he said, and went back to thrusting inside of me. Xander hesitated on a moment, then turned and took my dick all the way into his mouth.

Honestly, at that moment, I couldn’t have cared less if Spike had been fucking me with a screwdriver. I let out something between a moan and a scream, thrusting my hips into Xander’s lips, then pulling back and inadvertently thrusting myself onto Spike’s dick. The pain from Spike being inside me had almost completely faded, and the feel of Xander’s hot mouth around my shaft was almost more than I could take. I thrust a few more times, then he sucked hard and growled in the back of his throat, and I came almost painfully hard, spurting my seed into his mouth as I gasped in completion. I heard Spike moan behind me and a cool wetness filled my insides before the vampire slumped against me. I felt Xander licking me clean and Spike started to pull out, but I was just too spent to care and blacked out.

I knew someone was carrying me, but I was too tired to open my eyes. I felt them put me down and cover me with something soft and warm, and then a body laid down on either side of me. I felt someone nuzzling my neck and thought it must be Xander, but then that would leave Spike gently running his hands down my arms, and that didn’t seem to make any sense either. And whose body was I curled up against anyway? It was all too much to answer, and I faded back to sleep.

It must have been hours later that I awoke to a jostling as someone got up and moved away, because I woke up sore all over. Someone was still holding me against his chest, and I was curled up like a puppy and draped all over him. I prayed it was Xander, but the lack of heat emanating from the form beneath me signified otherwise. I tried to stretch out my legs and moaned as the movement sent a spike of pain right up my spine.

“Shh,” I heard Spike’s gravely voice whisper as a cool hand stroked my back. “Know you’re hurtin’ like a bitch, pet, but you’ll have to wait it out a bit longer. Xan’s runnin’ a nice bath for ya, getcha all nice an’ squeaky. Just need to wait for the tub to fill.”

“What the hell is this, some kind of vampiric aftercare?” I wondered before I realized I was talking. Behind me, Spike laughed, and I couldn’t help but open my eyes and look at him. It was a mistake, because Spike is damn handsome when he laughs.

“Didn’t know you’d be into the sadism scene, pet. Maybe we can make some dreams come true for you, huh?”

“Not unless you’re willing to don a pair of stilettos and get some double D implants.”

“Not damn likely.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” I heard Xander say as he walked in. “You’d look pretty hot in some heels. The double D’s might be a little much, though. I’d think you’re a B cup at most.”

“Hardy har,” Spike growled. “We’ll see how you look in a tutu if you don’t knock it off. We’ve got more important things to do.”

“That’s what you always say when you’re losing,” Xander whined, but let it drop. “The bath’s ready, if you want to bring him.”

“Sure thing,” Spike said, tossing the blanket off both of us and revealing that we were both shockingly and equally naked. I didn’t have time to react, though, because in the next minute Spike was lifting me off the bed and I was whimpering as my sore muscles protested the movement.

“What a nice fit you make,” Spike said, grinning at me. “Like a doll in my arms, eh?”

“Screw you,” I responded. I wasn’t usually so sensitive about my size, but after the past few days I was starting to realize what a disadvantage it put me at in the demon world.

“Don’t let him get to you,” Xander soothed, walking beside us as Spike carried me out of the room. “He’s just happy to finally have someone he can carry. He tried it with me once, but I’m bigger than he is.”

“Oi! You got from point A to point B without being dropped.”

“Yeah, but we both looked like lunatics.”

“Who the hell cares what we looked like?” Spike replied. “Like the minions are going to say anything.”

“No, that’s certainly not going to happen,” Xander said, but there was something a little less perky to this comment. I didn’t get time to think about it, though, as we entered a large, lavish bathroom and Spike lowered me into a huge, steaming bathtub.

I hissed as I hit the water, feeling the sting from all the little cuts and scrapes that were still healing on my body. The heat started to relieve my soreness immediately, and in a second it no longer hurt to breathe, although I was still pretty much screwed for any kind of movement. I tipped my head back and let my eyes slip closed, just reveling in the sensation of finally being pain-free. A second later I heard a splash and I opened my eyes to see that Xander had climbed in on one side of me and Spike on the other.

I should probably mention about now that the tub we were in was about the size of a small pool. It was honestly more of a hot-tub than bathtub, but if they were willing to let me get soap all through it I wasn’t going to complain.

“Mm, this is the life!” Spike sighed, leaning back in the water.

“It’s stuff like this that makes me happy to be a kept man,” Xander added, enjoying the water equally as much.

“Oi! And here I thought it was the brilliant sex.”

“Well… that certainly doesn’t hurt.”

“Not if we’re doin’ it right… and sometimes if we are,” Spike said, smirking at Xander.

“You ass.”

“Mm-Hm. And a fine one at that.”

“Dude, just stop. That was awful.”

“No taste,” Spike replied, but they were both smirking, so I could only assume that this was normal, positive banter.

We had nearly an hour of silence after that, broken at intervals by sedate conversation, until Spike stretched and said, “Well, can’t be lazy all day. Time to get cleaned up and hop out.” Then he turned and advanced on me, brandishing a rag.

“Oh hell no!” I protested, backing up until I ran into Xander. “I can wash myself! Fuck off!”

“I’m sure you can wash yourself, pet, but you aren’t going to be able to take care of the wounds we put on your ass. Now, be a good pup and bend over.”

“How about I just go lay down in my corner?” I suggested, then lunged toward the closest side of the tub. Xander was faster, though, and caught me around the middle. My attempt at escape had made me face the absolute wrong direction, and Xander was able to conveniently hoist me until my feet weren’t touching the bottom and lean me over the edge of the tub, so that my ass was perfectly presented to Spike while Xander held me in place.

Let’s just say, I didn’t take it well. I thrashed and kicked and yelped and growled, but Xander had me in a position that gave me no leverage, with one hand holding the back of my neck and the other pinning my arms, and he was still about twice my size. All my thrashing did was wear me out, which is when Spike moved up directly behind me, pinning my legs open by inserting his body between them and pressing his hips into my thighs. My body remembered the pain he could cause me and I found myself shivering and submitting. The wolf knew a dominant male when he saw it.

Spike was gentle as he pried my cheeks apart, carefully washing me with soft, firm strokes. He hissed under his breath and I felt Xander move to look at whatever Spike was upset about. The conferred about something in hushed tones above me, but the blood pounding in my ears made it impossible to tell what they were saying. Spike moved away then, and when he returned he smeared some kind of slimy lotion that stung like hell into my ass. I cursed and thrashed again, with the same results as before.

“Hush, pet. You’ve torn a bit here, that’s all.”

“And whose fault is that?” I growled, glaring even though I couldn’t turn my head to see him.

“Yours. If you would have just relaxed like I told you, you would have been fine.”

“You shouldn’t have been sticking your dick in my ass!”

“I’m taking care of it. Be grateful I’m actually trying to get you better, not just ramming into you again,” Spike retorted snidely, getting annoyed.

“Yeah, well… It wouldn’t be much fun for you to have me screaming like a stuck pig beneath you.”

“Actually I rather enjoy…”

“Give it up, Spike,” Xander interrupted. “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Oz is going to be pissed with us. We did rape him yesterday.”

“No, I raped him. You mated him.”

“There isn’t much difference between mating the unwilling and rape. Actually, it’s pretty much the same thing. But, regardless, that’s why we were supposed to talk to him the next morning, before you screwed him.”

“Oi! You know I hate to see you with others! I wasn’t going to be left out a second longer, you prick.”

“You didn’t have to be left out at all if we had gone about this my way,” Xander snapped back. “But you, as usual, wanted to follow your balls instead of your brains.”

“Now listen here,” Spike growled, “I know exactly what I’m do-…”

“Not to disturb this little spat,” I put in angrily, “but do you think you two could possibly resume this discussion when one of you doesn’t have his fingers in my ass?” I yelled. The other two were silent for a minute, then Spike laughed.

“Sure thing, pet. I can see you’re getting a little antsy. Let’s get you into bed,” he soothed as the two of them released me and stepped back.

“How about you two get into bed and I’ll just get my ass out of here.”

“Nah, I think your ass is the one part that really needs to stay,” Spike said, sneering at me as he stepped out of the tub. Xander had already gotten out and wrapped a towel around his waist while Spike was helping me move my sore and protesting body out of the warm, soothing water, so I found a towel wrapped around me as soon as I was out as Xander began to pat me dry.

“I can do that myself,” I protested, but it lacked the ferocity of my other protests. I was running out of energy to fight it.

“I know, and I promise that next time you can fight me all you want about it, but do you think you could just go with the flow a little today?” Xander asked, his voice dropping low as he watched Spike dry off and walk into the bedroom. Once Spike was gone, he turned his serious brown eyes on me. “I swear, neither of us will jump you again today, okay? We just… Look, I know Spike’s an ass, but he had good intentions with all this. Unfortunately, he’s an idiot and he doesn’t understand things like convincing or seducing. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I know you’re totally exhausted, so why don’t you just go along with us for today? I won’t let Spike hurt you, and we both know you’re in no condition to be fighting us right now anyway. You can rest and we’ll explain some stuff, and if you still feel like running away you can try it again tomorrow, alright?”

“How are you supposed to stop Spike from doing whatever he wants? You’re submissive to him,” I protested, wanting to believe that I would have at least a little time to recuperate and get my bearings, but afraid that Xander was just trying to get me to drop my guard. It was hard to tell whose side he was on.

“I may submit to him, but that doesn’t mean he controls my every move. I probably couldn’t overpower him, but I really don’t think it will come to that. If you don’t want to have sex with Spike today, I swear you won’t have to.”

“Or you?”

“No, I’m going to jump you right now,” Xander growled sarcastically. “Yes, of course the rule applies for me too.”

“What the hell is going on here, Xander?” I asked softly, staring at my hands as he finished securing the towel around my waist. “What is this? What am I doing here?”

My voice must have sounded as lost as I felt, because Xander slowly stepped up beside me and put his arm around my shoulders. My gut reaction was to flinch away. Less than a day ago, this same person had been on my back, holding my neck while fucked me into the ground. In an hour, he could be doing the same thing again. I knew trusting him could be showing weakness, but… God I needed that. I need some kind of support and compassion. I was desperate, and Xander had been a good friend to me in the past. Not a close friend, perhaps, but he wasn’t a bad guy, and I was starting to think the world was full of bad people. I needed to think that someone might care about me even a little, so I let Xander put his arm around me and even dared to lean against him as I tried to keep myself from totally breaking down.

It only lasted a minute, and then Spike was calling us from the other room and Xander pulled back, giving me a minute to get control of myself before guiding me back into the bedroom. I must have looked like an old man, limping across the bedroom as Xander guided me back to the large bed. I noticed as soon as I tossed myself down that someone had changed the sheets, although I kind of doubted it was Spike, who was playing with some bottles on the bedside table. I let myself enjoy the feeling of lying still for just a minute, before I had to breathe and that feeling disappeared. I hissed in pain as my ribs protested.

“Rough day there, eh puppy?” Spike asked, plopping down on the bed beside me. I growled, glaring at him.

“No touching,” I warned, pushing myself up to my elbows.

“That’s not what the whelp said and you know it,” he replied, pushing me back down. “I’m not going to screw you,” he said, crawling onto the bed and settling his weight across my hips, causing me to gasp in shock. “Now hush up ‘n let me work.”

“It’s alright, Oz,” Xander said, sitting down beside us. “Spike’s pretty good at this. Just let him work,” he told me, and before I could ask what he meant Spike had splashed warm oil onto my back and was rubbing my shoulders. I moaned and sagged onto the bed against my will. Pretty good? Hell, this was better than sex. Which, considering what I had just been through, wasn’t saying much, but it was still really good.


	5. Getting The Facts

I must have been lying there for hours, just letting Spike’s fingers dance across my skin. I guess it was lucky that the undead don’t get tired as quickly as humans, because I could have let him do that forever. His hands were cool and strong, confident and sure. They knew just where to be strong and press the tension out of strained muscles, and where to gently sooth over bruised places. More than once I heard a pop as Spike shifted my spine back into its proper place.

“Looks like it’s not just you, pet,” I heard Spike whisper to Xander. “It must be the changing that messes with your back.”

“I’m not surprised, with all the shifting the bones have to do. It must have been hurting him pretty bad though, from the amount of times you’ve cracked it,” Xander replied, in an equally soft voice, like they didn’t want to wake me from the sleep I wasn’t in. I knew my back ached amazingly after each time I transformed, and it kept getting worse every time. I’d gone to a chiropractor once and it helped, but it was nothing compared to this.

It was a long time before Spike finished working all the aches and kinks out of my back, and he spent a surprising amount of time after that just running his hands over my skin, lightly enough that I knew it wasn’t doing anything other than making my skin tingle with pleasure.

Eventually, Spike’s hand slowed, then stopped and withdrew. I faked sleep as Xander got up and moved to sit next to Spike, and I could see him lean into Spike’s embrace out of the corner of my eye.

“Can’t we just stop this now?” Xander whispered pleadingly. “It’s not too late…”

“It’s past too late, love, and you know it,” Spike replied. “Don’t worry, pet, I know what ‘m doin’.”

“I’m just… I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“It’s not him I’m worried about here, it’s you.”

“I know, and that’s why I’m worried. You can’t just use people for your schemes.”

“Then what the hell am I supposed to use them for?” Spike joked, but Xander stayed silent, and after a minute Spike got serious again. “I’m not taking this lightly, you know,” he defended, and I think by this time they’d forgotten me, because Spike wasn’t bothering to keep his voice down. “I saw the pup around a few times in Sunnydale, and I know you two were friends. You need that now, and obviously the pup doesn’t have anything better to do. I want you to have some company, love.”

“So you kidnap and rape me a friend. No no, that makes perfect sense.”

“Didn’t kidnap ‘im. I bought ‘im for ya, that’s diff-… ‘Ey! Where are you going?”

“I know you’re full of shit, Spike, but I’m hungry,” Xander said, his voice annoyed. “I’m going down to the kitchen to see if I can get the minions to make me something to eat.”

“Bring up some nice rare steaks for our guest here, eh?” Spike said, but the only reply was the sound of a closing door. Spike chuckled to himself, then I felt him shift on the bed. “Alright, pup, now that we’re alone you can drop the sleeping beauty routine.”

“How did you know?” I asked, opening my eyes and shifting to look at him. He was sitting cross-legged on the bed and smirking at me.

“Your breathing never slowed down, and your heartbeat sped up every time we mentioned you in the conversation. If pet wasn’t so upset about this whole thing he would have noticed too. Or maybe not. Xander can be a little trusting when it comes to his friends.”

“You being paranoid doesn’t make him too trusting.”

“Pup, I think we’ve all lived long enough on the hellmouth to know that the world really is out to get us. It’s only paranoia if you’re wrong. It’s called prudent pessimism if you’re right.”

“Interesting philosophy.”

“And one that doesn’t get me dusted.”

“Always a bonus.”

“So, I don’t suppose you’ve managed to figure this whole thing out yet?”

“Well, I’m a little sketchy on the details, but from what I’ve gathered you and Xander are in a relationship, except Xander has been getting lonely for some friends, so you decided to buy me and give me to him.”

“Like a birthday present, ‘cept I forgot the ribbon.”

“But Xander feels guilty about taking me since I am, in fact, a living, breathing human being with feelings and emotions and stuff.”

“Lot of bother, those are.”

“And on top of all that, you’re a homosexual nymphomaniac with a bestiality kink.”

“Oi! I thought the whelp said you were smart. That was the only explanation you could come up with for the sex? Soddin’ lot of brains you ‘ave.”

“Well I was going to say that I’m just too damn sexy for you to resist, but I thought that might come off narcissistic.”

“Just a bit,” he said, smirking at me. “Well, since you haven’t managed to figure it out, I’ll tell you. Vampires show dominance through sex. If I’m going to have you around Xander all the time, I need to know that you’re submissive to me, otherwise I’d get jealous and probably maim or castrate you.”

“I think I’d rather be maimed.”

“I figured, so sex was the only option.”

“But… I mean, I didn’t technically submit. You raped me.”

“I overpowered you. That’s just as good as submission in a vampire’s eyes. It means you’ll be loyal until you have the means to overpower me, which is all a vampire ever asks for.”

“Ah. So, how does this jealousy thing work with Xander taking me first? I mean, I wasn’t submissive to you then, so why did you let Xander have me before you, or at all?”

“See, there’s a simple explanation for that one. I didn’t want there to be any mistake about who you belong to. I wasn’t going to have you competing with Xander for a place in the hierarchy. If Xander takes you first, you know you belong to him. And he knows he belongs to me, so you belong to me as well.”

“So why did you screw me?”

“Because I wanted you to know you belong to me, and possibly because you do have a sexy little ass.”

“I always knew being this damn sexy would come back to bite me.”

“Literally.”

“So… what do I do now? What am I supposed to do here?”

“Balance, mate.”

            “Excuse me?”

            “Balance. You’re here to keep a balance between me ‘n Xander.”

            “I’m assuming you don’t mean weight wise.”

            “I mean that Xander requires a minimum level of constant attention. He needs someone around all the time, otherwise he gets lonely. I, on the other hand, need a ton of attention when I’m around, but I have duties to fulfill as master vampire and all that rot. So, I want to spend whole weeks together having sex and partying, and then I spend the rest of the month doing Big Bad stuff.”

            “I’ll assume it’s not working?”

            “Not a bit. Spending a whole week with Xander messes up his schedule or whatever. He gets tired and cranky. Then I leave for a few weeks and he’s just miserable without me. Can’t say I blame him. Last time, though, he stopped eating and taking his meds. The minions aren’t smart enough to make him and the fledges, when I had them around, were trying to kill him so they could take his place or use him to get in my good graces.”

            “But not through feeding or medicating him?”

            “No.”

            “’Cause that’s the first thing I’d try.”

            “Xander isn’t a vampire, so the fledges see it more as ‘Down with the outsider!’ than ‘Better butter up the girlfriend,’ you see? Since Xander’s not technically a vampire, he’s not a part of the hierarchy.”

            “For how long?”

            “You can’t really just drop into vampire culture, mate.”

            “No, I mean, how long won’t he be a vampire for?”

            “That’s probably a talk saved for a better time,” Spike said, his face going serious.

            “I want to know if I’m going to be on the menu any time soon.”

            “Who’s talking about a menu?” Xander asked, entering the room and flopping down on the bed. I noticed that he was dressed in a dark blue bath robe, and wondered where I could get one. Being naked was bad enough, and being naked around a perverted vampire was even worse.

            “No one, love. Don’t fancy I’d want to eat either of you. Too gamy.”

            “Never kept you from taking a nibble,” Xander protested.

            “Might get myself a nibble right now,” Spike growled playfully, pinning Xander to the bed and nibbling at his neck.

            “Hey!” Xander protested, but he was laughing already. “Get off, you leech!”

            “Mm, but I’m your leech,” Spike said, curling around Xander and pushing open his robe.

            “No no!” Xander protested, pushing the vampire’s hand away. “Not in front of the guest.”

            “Come on! After what we just put him through? You can’t honestly think he’ll be embarrassed if we get a little frisky.”

            “Yes, yes you can,” I protested, afraid that the “getting frisky” might lead to something that included me.

            “Don’t worry,” Xander soothed, pushing away a very miffed-looking vampire. “We’re not going to get in to anything. Besides, the food will be here in just a couple minutes.”

            “Always knew you’d pick a hot meal over me any day,” Spike pouted.

            “Good thing they usually come as a package deal.”

            “Alright, that’s it,” Spike said, leaping up from the bed and walking into a closet, coming back a moment later dressed in leather pants and a black skintight top. It was the picture of casual sadistic. “’M not going to stick around here, let you tromp all over my affections ‘n all. I’ll be with the minions if y’ need me.”

            “Later, baby,” Xander dismissed cheekily, grinning at the vampire. For a sadistic master vampire, Spike had let Xander get away with a lot of attitude through the playful banter, but I guess even Spike had his limits as he frowned and advanced on Xander. There was an instant change to Spike’s body language, his shoulders tensed and his steps became fluid and aggressive. He stopped in front of where Xander was sitting on the bed. Xander, for his part, lost the grin and became serious, but he didn’t seem frightened. He tilted his head, baring his neck in what seemed to be unconscious submissive behavior, but he wasn’t shaking in fear or groveling. Maybe he knew Spike would have to show his dominance. Maybe he wanted him to.

            “I’d better get a better goodbye than that,” Spike growled at his mate. Xander didn’t reply, but he sat up on his knees and rubbed his cheek against Spike’s abs, following his ribcage up to his neck, where Xander placed a string of kisses on Spike’s jaw line. I could almost see the animal instincts that drove his submissive-affectionate response.

            The actions seemed to appease Spike, who smirked and took a hold of Xander’s head to deliver his own, passionate kiss to Xander’s lips. Xander moaned and squirmed against him, panting as they parted.

            “Now that’s the way a vampire wants to be seen off, pet,” Spike said, petting Xander’s hair.

            “Return soon,” Xander said quietly, his voice brimming with affection. Strange that a big, bad vampire would inspire such devotion.

            With a final kiss to Xander’s forehead, Spike turned and sauntered out of the room.

            “God, he’s sexy when he’s angry,” Xander admitted, staring at Spike’s back. A moment later he glanced at me, blushed, and turned quickly away. “Sorry. I forgot you were there.”

            “You were understandably preoccupied with his lips.”

            “Eh… yeah. I… sorry.”

            “For what?”

            “The kiss? The rape? The whole world?”

            “That’s pretty cool. I’ve never seen someone sorry for the whole world before.”

            “No, that’s not what I meant. I just forgot you were here. I don’t want to make you… uncomfortable.”

            “Xander… I’m naked. I’ve had sex with both of you. A kiss really pales in comparison.”

            “I… Yeah, I guess. Just… does it bother you?”

            “Kissing?”

            “No!” Xander huffed, aggravated by his own inability to speak clearly. “That I’m… That I’m gay.”

            “Oh. No.”

            “No?”

            “No.”

            “You mean…”

            “It doesn’t bother me.”

            “Not at all?”

            “No,” I repeated again. “Do you want it to?”

            “To what?”

            “To bother me.”

            “Of course not… just… Doesn’t it surprise you?”

            “No.”

            “Thanks.”

            “That’s not what I mean. You were never obviously gay, but you were always trying too hard with the girls. Like you had to prove something. And you were never satisfied. It was like you were always trying to find something in your girlfriend, but you never managed to find it.”

            “Never suspected I was looking for a 200 year old blonde guy.”

            “It’s not one of the standard dating stereotypes.”

            “Not outside of the hellmouth.”

            “We’re a breed of our own.”

            “That we are,” he agreed. It seemed that he’d finished what he had to say, but I just couldn’t keep my curiosity in check. I just had to know what was going on between him and the vamp.

            “So… I don’t get it. Why are you here? I thought you and Spike hated each other. You’re the white knight. What are you doing dating the dark prince?”

            “Didn’t you hear? I have a habit of dating things that are bad for me.”

            “So why don’t you leave him?”

            “Because I also have a tendency to fall for those same things,” Xander joked back, then suddenly got serious. “I do love him, Oz. And he loves me. That’s why I put up with all this. That’s why he does all this. If he were just being an asshole about you, I would have grabbed you and high-tailed it hours ago, but he’s not. He really is trying to help me, in his twisted, evil, brainless, pathetic sort of way.”

            “So I’m like an anniversary present?”

            “Probably. Spike has a tendency to give me an anniversary present every few months because he can’t remember when it is.”

            “When is it?”

            “Hell if I know. I just like getting presents all the time.”

            “Ah,” I said, smiling as Xander grinned. “So is Spike good at giving gifts?”

            “Sometimes. The first few were really awful. I mean, they were expensive, but it was all this girly, romantic crap. Like a roomful of roses or the weird underwear. Actually, I think he liked the underwear more than I did. Once he got to know me a little better, though, the gifts got really thoughtful. Like, instead of getting me expensive junk he gets stuff that I really need.”

            “Like what?”

            “He bought me power tools last time.”

            “Useful both as household appliances and demon killers.”

            “Well… not these ones. Spike saw me struggling with some of the bigger pieces of wood I was working on, so he bought me a really expensive carpentry set.”

            “You still do that?”

            “Yeah, I really like working with my hands.”

            “I’m surprised Spike lets that much wood close to him.”

            “It keeps the minions in line.”

            “Ah. Any other wonderful gifts? Though I have to say that would probably be hard to top.”

            “You.”

            “I rate better than power tools. Awesome.”

            “No, I mean, Spike always gets me things I need, and… and I think he might be right.”

            “Xander…” I said, backing up a little. “Look, I really don’t think we’ve been in this relationship long enough for you to need me. Really, this isn’t a relationship at all, and need is such a strong word for…”

            “That’s not what I mean,” Xander interrupted, shaking his head. “I don’t… I don’t mean that I need you as a lover. I meant that I need a friend. No, that’s not right either. I need someone that I can talk to when Spike isn’t around, who will do things with me that Spike doesn’t want to, to hunt with me and run with me. I need…”

            “A pack.”

            “Yes! Yes, exactly! Hyenas form clans, werewolves form packs, and vampires form covens! It’s perfect!”

            “Except for the part where I don’t want to join.”

            “Yeah, well, that part’s a little iffy, but it’s still pretty close.”

            “Where does Spike fit in all this?”

            “He just wants me to be happy. You’ve seen how devoted he is. It’s just in his nature to care and protect.”

            “Yeah, but isn’t he jealous?”

            “Amazingly so. That’s why you’re getting screwed.”

“Literally.”

“He doesn’t think it would work as just friends, and I don’t think he could allow me to have someone so close all the time without getting jealous. If you’re part of our relationship, though, you’re not competition anymore. Besides, I think Spike has a thing for dark eyed boys.”

            “Ah.”

            “You see… Spike really is just trying to help. He thinks that just because you’d gotten in a little trouble its okay to make you do this kind of stuff. I know… I know you really want to leave, but…”

            “Spike’s right this time, Xander,” I assured him, even though I was just reaching the conclusion myself. “I really don’t have anything better to do. The band is gone, my pack’s been sold off, and I’m not even in a relationship right now. Besides, Willow went gay and seemed pretty happy with it. I was thinking I might try the same thing myself.”

            “Really?” Xander said, and I saw his face break out in the first genuine smile I’d seen on him. He really was just like a brother to Willow. His smile was just as blinding, not quite as naive but even more intense. But maybe that was just because he was older.

            “No. But I’m thinking about it now. I think I could give this a try. I mean, what could it really hurt? Don’t! Don’t tell me, alright? Otherwise I’ll probably bolt right now.”

            “Don’t worry. What you faced yesterday and last night is really the worst of it. I promise, when we do it next time it’ll feel a lot better for you.”

            “When? Not if?”

            “Not unless you manage to get away from Spike tonight. He’s… He’s rather demanding in the bedroom.”

            “I hadn’t noticed,” I replied, hoping my sarcasm was evident. Xander laughed, so I assumed he got it.

            “I guess I don’t really have to explain too much about Spike’s bedroom skills to you. Anyway, though, I think I smell the food coming,” Xander said, and as if on cue a red-haired female vampire entered the room carrying two very large trays of food. She deposited the trays on the bed, then quietly turned and walked back out, never once even glancing at myself or Xander.

            “Alright! Scrambled eggs, bacon, and extremely rare venison! Breakfast of champions, right?” Xander asked, undisturbed by the cold shoulder the vampire had given us.

            “If you’re a Doberman.”

            “Or a werewolf.”

            “Touché.”

            “Man, I’ve missed this banter.”

            “Spike doesn’t engage in witty wordplay?”

            “He does, but he’s a really sore loser about it. He gets all ‘Rawr!’ and ‘Respect the master vampire!’ on me. It’s a lot more fun with you.”

            “I’m glad to be of service,” I told him as we both began to eat. I hesitated, but then decided that Xander had been pretty up front with me so far, so I might as well ask. “Are the minions always like that?”

            “Like what?”

            “You know, cold and distant. She didn’t even look at you. Or did you just piss that one off?”

            “No,” Xander said, then sighed. “Honestly, I kind of wish Spike hadn’t killed most of the fledges. They were nasty to me, but at least they acknowledged my existence. The minions are so afraid of doing the wrong thing that they won’t even look at me. It really sucks.”

            “That’d make things pretty lonely when Spike isn’t around.”

            “You have no idea.”

            “You should get a puppy.”

            “I think… I think I sort of did.”

            “That’s cold.”

            “Big, bad vampire gives big, bad puppy. Or, in this case, werewolf. It makes sense.”

            “If you’re neurotic.”

            “We’re all a bit messed up, don’t you think?”

            “Hell-mouth syndrome. We should have a foundation.”

            “That’d work well, until all the nurses get eaten.”

            “That’s part of the syndrome, don’t you think?”

            “Probably.”


	6. Unexpected Problems

            By the time Spike returned, Xander and I had managed to polish off our food and were lounging on the bed like the pair of overstuffed predators we were.

            “Both look like a pair of sleepin’ lions, ya do.”

            “Rawr,” Xander said, managing only to move his head to look at Spike. “Beware my kitty wrath.”

            “And what mighty wrath it is,” Spike teased affectionately, kissing Xander on the forehead. “I see you’ve managed to keep the wolfling from bolting.”

            “Oz wants to try working things out with us.”

            “’S ‘at true, pet?” Spike asked, turning toward me.

            “I contemplated jumping out a window instead, but I couldn’t find any. So I figured I’d try my luck with you two.”

            “That’s good. Things’ll go a lot easier if yer working with us,” Spike replied, but something in his voice made me wary.

            “What things?” I asked suspiciously.

            “The sex, of course. I’m glad to have your agreement, but you’re still submissive to us, and I won’t have you forgetting who the master is here.”

            “But… I thought Xander said you wouldn’t touch me.”

            “Tonight. Your boyfriend can’t protect you forever, and he knows it.”

            “Oz, please,” Xander interjected, his large brown eyes filled equally with concern and annoyance. “I don’t think Spike’s putting this the right way. We want to have you around and everything, but the demons won’t be able to go for long without sex.”

            “Uh, that’s what you have each other for.”  
            “Like one bloke would be enough for me,” Spike quipped with a lecherous grin.

            “Spike, shut up,” Xander snapped, then turned to me. “You know that this isn’t really about the sex. You need to submit to Spike or he’ll see you as a threat.”

            “So why can’t I just lay on my belly and bare my throat?”

            “Because vampire’s don’t do that. The only way to submit to a vampire if you aren’t a member of the family is to submit sexually. It’s… well, it’s technically how a thrall would submit, but we aren’t thralls because Spike hasn’t done anything to our minds, you see?”

            “Yeah, we’re too stupid to need to be coerced,” I muttered.

            “You agreed to try the relationship, and you’ve already had sex with us once. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

            “The difference is that I was being controlled by a demon before. I’m not going to willingly submit to being raped.”

            “It isn’t like that. I promise, we’ll be gentler next time. And I know you enjoyed it at least a little last time. Can’t you at least give it a chance?” Xander asked, and I had to pause a moment to think.

            “I need to know that I’m not just going to get fucked all the time. I’m not some kind of sex-doll. I need to know if I say stop, you guys will stop.”

            “Oz, these aren’t normal circumstances…”

            “No, but the point remains the same. I’m all for shades of gray morality, but this is one time where I draw the line.”

            “The demons…”

            “If you can’t get control of your demons, you’ve got no place being in a relationship at all. If you can’t control yourself, you’re a danger to your partner. Trust me, I know.”

            “It’s not like that. I wouldn’t let the demons hurt you.”

            “No? But be a little rough in sex, maybe? Or maybe even a little before sex? And before you know it, I’m your poor, abused werewolf bitch.”

            “I’m cool with that,” Spike put in, earning him a glare from Xander. That was fine, though. Spike was evil. Thus, evil was expected. It was Xander’s behavior I couldn’t understand. He was the white hat, right? We’d had our differences in the past, but I never thought he’d really let anyone hurt me. It was hard to imagine that he was a part of it.

            “Shut the hell up, Spike,” Xander snapped, but the vampire just smirked in response.

            “At least he’s being honest about it. If you just want me for a convenient hole, you could at least be upfront with the hole about it.”

            “That isn’t what I’m saying!” Xander protested, and the desperation in his voice almost made me change my mind. After all, how much worse was it to be whore when the other option was being alone? And I was tired of being a lone wolf, on the outskirts of the pack. Xander was offering me a pack, and even if I was still the omega wolf, it hurt too much not to belong.

            But I couldn’t trust them. More than just the sex, how could I trust them to keep control of me if they couldn’t keep control of themselves? And if I gave in on this, how long before something else came up that I didn’t want to do? Would I give in on that too? How long before I’d be hunting humans and eating babies?

            “It doesn’t matter, Xander. I don’t plan on sticking around,” I said, and the change in him was immediate. Where he had seemed desperate and anguished before, he suddenly seemed angry and aggressive. His posture changed, coming out of the hunched up pose he had been in before to throw his shoulders back in a show of dominance. He frowned deeply, baring his teeth at me.

            I had expected Spike to join in with the aggressive posing and shows of dominance. The wolf part of me assumed that they’d probably beat me for my disobedience, with the head alpha being first and then the beta. Instead, though, Spike began making frantic, negative hand gestures behind Xander’s back. I could only assume that he didn’t want me upsetting his boyfriend. Unfortunately, I wasn’t in the mood to listen.

            “You can’t leave,” Xander protested in a growl.

            “No, probably not with your boyfriend’s minions watching the door every minute, but sooner or later someone will slip up and I’ll disappear.”

            “I won’t let you leave me!” Xander shouted. I glared at him, unperturbed.

            “You can’t stop me. One day you’ll look up, and I’ll be gone.”

            And then I figured out that I probably should have been far more perturbed when I had the chance, because Xander leapt at me, his suddenly sharp teeth going straight for my throat, and pinned me to the bed. I was naked, and suddenly his knees were pushing my thighs apart. He was growling as he held me by the throat, one of his hands holding both of mine as his other reached down to roughly spread me.

            “Not like this!” I whispered desperately, unable to get the air to scream. “Please, Xander, stop!” I begged, but I knew he couldn’t hear me over his own growls. I gasped, my lungs burning from the lack of oxygen as Xander held my throat in his jaws, but was powerless to breathe, just as I was powerless to stop him.

            I felt something heavy suddenly climb onto the bed, and a moment later Xander released my throat to let out a throaty roar. I gasped for breath as his hands released mine and he toppled onto me. My vision swam, and when it returned I could see the top of Xander’s head as he was pressed against my chest. His body was laying fully on mine, and I could feel his strangely flaccid penis resting against my stomach. Spike was above him, holding the back of Xander’s neck between his powerful, vampire jaws and thrusting violently into his body. Spike’s eyes met mine and he sat back, pulling Xander onto his lap, and then used one hand to shove me off the bed.

            I fell like a broken doll. Completely limp, I landed on my back couldn’t gather the courage to move or even blink. The thought of what had almost happened, and the knowledge that it had been Spike who saved me from Xander, paralyzed me with fear. I was afraid to even move, afraid to attract any of the attention of the two rutting demons above me.

            It was only a few minutes later that I heard Xander give a yelp and an unsatisfied snarl, and then Spike was grunting in climax and the movement of the bed stopped. It was silent for a few moments, all save for the hammering of my heartbeat, before Spike climbed off Xander, covered the other man with a blanket, fixed his own clothes, and then turned his attention to where I still lay on the floor.

            He didn’t smirk, or grin, or laugh, or any of the things I expected him to do when he saw me there, completely petrified. He remained strangely serious and somber as he grabbed his smokes from the bedside table and lit one, then motioned for me to follow him out of the room. He didn’t have to tell me to be quiet. I think even my heart beat a little more softly as we moved, for fear of waking Xander.

            We exited the room into a short hallway, and Spike led me a few doors down into another bedroom. Once inside, I closed the door and watched Spike disappear into a closet, only to appear a moment later and toss a bathrobe at me. My knees went weak with relief as I put it on. As I hastily thrust my arms into the fabric and cinched the waist in a knot that would probably need to be cut off, Spike sat on the bed and smoked contemplatively. He stayed silent, something I’d never known the blonde vampire to do, and I found myself once again remaining still for fear of doing the wrong thing.

            We must have remained like that for several minutes, with me standing stupidly in the middle of the room and Spike smoking on the bed and seeming very far away, until Spike finished his cigarette and suddenly looked up like he’d just noticed I was there.

            “Christ, pup, come sit down,” he said, motioning to the bed. I hesitated only a moment, realizing that even if Spike did decide to fuck me, it was still better to be at the mercy of a lucid Spike than… whatever Xander had been.

            I sat gingerly on the bed beside Spike, wincing as my still-sore tailbone connected with the soft fabric of the mattress. I saw Spike raise an eyebrow and twitch his hand toward me.

“Let me see,” he asked gently. I bit my lip, my stomach rioting in fear, and shook my head. Spike made a vaguely displeased noise, and that was all the warning I was given before I was suddenly pushed to my stomach and held while my robe was pushed up to my shoulders and my legs were pried apart.

            I sobbed, but it wasn’t even worth the effort of struggling. I knew I couldn’t get away. I cried out as he touched me, but knew from experience that it would go easier on me if I simply let him do what he wanted. I couldn’t watch, though, and covered my face with my arms. I was at the mercy of Spike, and I doubted he would have much of that for me.

            Surprisingly, though, his hands were gentle as they spread me, and he went still after that, only giving me a few touches here and there. After a minute of looking, I heard a shuffle of fabric and realized he had pulled something out of his pocket, only to feel the cool sting of the earlier ointment being reapplied to the sore areas of my ass. Then he released me, and I sprang out of the bed and across the room, only to come up against a solid wall and plaster myself to it.

            “Wh-what the hell was that?” I shouted, feeling my head spin with adrenaline.

            “Needed to make sure he hadn’t managed to rip you up any more,” Spike said slowly and so softly that I had to listen closely to hear. “I didn’t think he could, of course, but I wanted to make sure. ‘Sides, you were due for ‘nother dose. Want to see you healed up right and proper.”

            “What…” I started, but couldn’t finish the thought. It felt like the room was spinning, and I stumbled before regaining my balance. “What was that? With Xander?” I asked, and Spike looked gravely at me but said nothing for several minutes.

            “I think you might have noticed,” he said finally, his tone resigned, “but my Xander’s a bit… well, he’s a bit more buggered in the head than he was when you lot had him. There was… there was a damn lot that’s happened to him in the last couple years.”

            “So… So Xander is… Are you telling me Xander’s insane?” I wondered in shock. He had seemed so lucid before. So… un-insane.

            “Like anybody from Sunnydale can ever claim to be perfectly sane. I’m telling you that Xander’s got a few more screws loose than he did when you knew him, but everything’s still holdin’ together pretty well.”

            “But… how…”

            “That’s too long of a story for me to tell when you’re about to crash,” Spike said, smirking and standing.

            “I’m not…” I protested, but realized that I was wavering on my feet.

            “’Course yer not,” Spike said patronizingly, giving me that infuriating smirk. “But just in case, why don’t you take a little nap, eh? You’ll be safe enough in here.”

            “No. I can’t. With Xander… and you… I need to get out of here,” I said, glancing desperately at the door.

            “I plan to keep my word ‘bout leavin’ you alone for the night, and Xander’s been fed and sexed pretty well, so he should be in for a good sleep. Even if he wakes up, he won’t be mad. ‘E probably wasn’t mad before, you just… well, you scared him.”

            “Scared him? All I said was that I wanted to leave.”

            “Well then, I stand corrected. You probably terrified him. But never mind that now, pet. Come get some shut eye,” he told me, but I refused to move. He watched me for a second, his calm neutrality melting into an annoyed glare before he finally barked, “Come!” in a commanding voice.

            The wolf in me didn’t dare disobey a direct order from the alpha after the amount of aggression the beta had just shown me. In a moment I found myself kneeling at Spike’s feet as he sat on the bed. I flinched as he reached down, but the vampire simply stood me up and thrust me into the bed, tucking me in like a child. It was in me to search for a witty quip about that, but I was just too tired and distressed. I stayed silent, more pleased about managing to avoid whimpering than I was upset with my inability to be witty on the edge of my mental collapse.

            “Get some rest, wolfling,” Spike said softly as he rose and headed for the door. “You’re safe now,” he assured me, and somehow his offhanded comment, like there could be no doubt that I was safe if he said it was so, reassured me more than anything else had. Or maybe I was just too exhausted to care anymore. Regardless, before Spike had even finished closing the door, the darkness engulfed me and I was asleep.


	7. Starting The Story

I awoke with the certain knowledge that someone was standing over my bed, watching me. Before I opened my eyes, I realized it was Xander.   
It’s a strange feeling, to be so terrified of something that looks so pathetic. I could see his hands and knew without a doubt that they could reach out and tear me in two, but watching tiny tremors run through them still made me want to reach out to hold them. I could see his body swaying slowly back and forth and knew the power within that frame could be upon me in an instant, ripping me to shreds. Still, watching him rock his shivering form made me want to hold him until the shaking stopped. And I could hear him panting, and I knew how quickly those pants could turn to growls, but I wanted to call out to him nonetheless. It felt like I was being stretched too far in different directions, while one part of me wanted to go to him and the other wanted to run far away.   
He took the choice from me, thankfully, or we probably would have stayed like that all night while my mind tried to decide whether to comfort or run.   
“Oz…” he whispered brokenly, seeing that I was awake, and I dared for the first time to look at his face. I shouldn’t have, because his face was awash with tears and suddenly even the part of me that was trying to run away wanted to comfort him, but I was too afraid.   
“God, Oz, I’m so sorry! I can’t… I wasn’t…. I’m so sorry!” he sobbed, his knees giving out as he collapsed beside my bed. I flinched at his sudden motion and he must have noticed even through his anguish, because he moaned and buried his face in his arms and my comforter. His shoulders shook too violently for me to dare to touch him, but his sobs were so strong that I worried he’d hurt himself. I couldn’t find the courage to comfort him, and looked around desperately for someone to intercede.   
As though I’d called for him, I saw Spike sauntering through the doorway, and felt a momentary thrill of terror at the thought that he might blame me for Xander’s state. The fear was washed away in a moment by annoyance, however, when I realized that he was the one who was supposed to keep Xander away from me. He had said I’d be safe here… although technically I guess he hadn’t lied, because the sobbing boy at my bedside didn’t seem likely to hurt anything.   
“Come on, pet,” Spike soothed, gently pulling Xander to his feet and toward the door. “Let’s get you back to bed.”  
“No!” Xander gasped suddenly, pulling away from Spike and turning toward me. “I need him to understand… Please! I can’t… He’ll leave! He’ll leave, Spike, and then you’ll leave and then… and then…” Xander said, but dissolved back into hysterical sobbing before he could finish. Spike pulled him back into his arms, and Xander went willingly this time, crying desperately into Spike’s chest. Spike bore it all with resignation that spoke of experience and a patience that I hadn’t thought was in the British vampire. He softly stroked Xander’s hair and rubbed the boy’s back until the sobs finally quieted into something less frantic.   
“Go back to bed, love,” Spike ordered softly when Xander was quiet enough to hear it. “You’ll be calmer in the morning, and you’re scaring the puppy,” he said. Xander cast a glance in my direction and must have seen the startled, anxious expression on my face, because he seemed shrink in on himself and gave a depressed nod before slowly leaving the room.   
“I’ll make sure he stays in bed this time, wolfling,” Spike assured me. “Go back to sleep,” he said commandingly as he turned toward the door, and I had to wonder if he really had put a thrall on me as the darkness descended and I was once again asleep.   
The overwhelming sense of dread was absent the next time I awoke, but I was still aware that there was someone in the room with me. I opened my eyes and looked around, but didn’t immediately notice anyone. I sat up slowly, my head still foggy from sleep, and heard movement in the corner. I looked, only to find Spike sprawled across an armchair. He had one leg curled beneath him, with a thick book perched on the knee, while the other leg was thrown over the arm of the chair. His left hand was slowly turning a page of the text, while his right was support his head. He seemed absorbed in his reading, and I took a minute just to watch him. It seemed strange to see him so still and calm. His face, which was usually a mask of constantly changing emotions, was now still in concentration. His marble skin made his face look statuesque, but his eyes held far too much life, even as absorbed as he was in his reading, to ever belong to something inanimate. It was hard enough to believe they belonged to something dead.   
He turned another page, glancing up in a casual gesture, and his eyes met mine.   
“’Mornin’ there pup. I was wonderin’ when you’d come join the land of the semi-living.”  
“Feels more like dawn of the dead,” I said, rubbing a hand over my face.  
“Nothin’ a little drink won’t cure,” Spike said, snapping his book closed and picking up a bottle of whiskey from the floor.   
“Nice to see that being a vampire doesn’t dampen your taste for other vices.”  
“Vices make death worth living,” Spike replied, tossing me the bottle. “’Sides, I need to be at least a little drunk to tell you this story.”  
“Story? I thought that was for bedtime?” I asked, taking a swig of the bitter liquid.  
“What are you talkin’ about? This is my bedtime,” Spike teased as I tossed the bottle back to him and he took a deep drink.  
“So… have you been watching me all night? Because that’s kind of creepy.”  
“After everything we’ve done to you lately? I would think creepy would be the last of your worries.”  
“That’s true. I think you’re supposed to start at creepy and work your way up to raping me.”  
“So maybe we’re working our way from bad boyfriends back to good?”  
“Or maybe you’ve decided to start the cycle all over again,” I said, then decided it might be best to get on a different topic. “So what kind of story are you telling me? Fairytale? Romance?”  
“Porno?”  
“I don’t really think that’s a genre of story that comes in the oral variety. No jokes.”  
“That was a joke in itself,” Spike teased, then got serious. “I thought you might want to know about how I managed to find Xander. Now, granted, I wasn’t around when everything really went to hell in Sunnydale, but I can tell you what I know, if you’re interested.”  
“Of course I’m interested.”  
“Well then, shove over, mate,” Spike said, coming over to the bed. I tried to hide a tremor as I moved, but Spike noticed and rolled his eyes. “I’m not gonna do nothin’,” Spike assured, “but I’m not sitting in the soddin’ chair while I tell this. It’s gonna take a bit, I can assure you of that.”  
“It’s only been a couple of years.”  
“A lot can happen in a couple of years, pet. Takes livin’ a couple of lifetimes to realize just how quickly time moves. Maybe if you’re really lucky, you’ll get to find out.”  
“Or if someone gets hungry?”  
“Call it fate.”  
“Call it lunch.”  
“Anyway,” Spike said, “You sure you wanna hear this? I mean, it gets a bit heavy in some places.”  
“That’s alright, I think I need to hear this. I need to know what happened to Xander. I… I want to know what happened. I want to help.”  
“Let me gather my thoughts then, and I’ll give you the strangest bedtime story you’ve ever had.”


	8. Spike's Story Begins: Finding Xander

            I never really looked for Xander. Honestly, I forgot about the little git. We’d never really hit it off, you know, with him hating my guts and all. When I heard that everything had gone bad with Buffy, I’d already been out of Sunnydale for nearly six months. By the time I managed to get back into town, the demons owned the place. I still haven’t managed to get Xander to tell me much about the last battle, the one that killed Buffy for the last time. From what I could see of the town, though, it was rough. I went through a few good wars in my day, and it looked to me like Sunnydale had been in the middle of something civil, possibly something guerilla. The humans had all but abandoned the place.

            Just so you know, there really wasn’t much I could have done about Sunnydale at that point. I’d just managed to establish myself as a Master at this little coven in SoCal, and before that I’d been a lackey for Angel, so I still didn’t have much in the way of cash or street cred. That all changed pretty quick, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, but at the time… Hell, I doubt I would have done anything if I could. Humans livin’ on the hellmouth have got to be the dumbest animals in existence. No offense. Thought I’d be doin’ the gene pool a favor if I just let some of ‘em die off.

            But don’t think I’m completely heartless. I don’t give a flyin’ ‘bout Sunnyhell, but I did try to find out what happened to the Scoobies. I found out that they’d tried to do an emergency evac of the city after Buffy kicked it, but the evacuation groups were attacked and everyone was separated. All the scoobies ended up heading in different directions, with no central location to meet back at and no way to find each other.

            It didn’t even strike me to look for Xander. Never really thought the white hat would fall into dire straights. He’d always landed on his feet before, right? And what did I care if something happened to him. He never liked me much anyway.

            So I went after Dawn. I figured… you know… it was the least I could do, in her sister’s memory and all. Buffy and I… we might have had a strange relationship, and we might have never been destined, but I did love her. Guess you know all about that, though. Been on the wrong side of love once yourself, if memory serves.

            Fuck. I’m tryin’ to be honest here. Right, then, I suppose I have to come clean. I’ve always had a thing for kids. Not a weird, pedophile thing, if that’s what you’re thinkin’, but I just hate seein’ bad things happen to kids. Plenty of time for bad things to happen, right? And, besides, I had a couple a sisters about Dawn’s age back when I was still breathing, you know? So… I couldn’t just let her out there on her own. I know how mean these streets can be to somebody that young and naive. It’d be like watchin’ one of my own sis’s all alone and helpless.

And, before you ask, I didn’t eat my sisters. I ate my mum for bein’ so bloody miserable all the time, but not my sisters. Oh! And all my friends, because they were a bunch of pricks with absolutely no sense of taste in literature. But bein’ a demon doesn’t take away who you are, you know, it just takes away all the shame and fear you bloody humans are so tied up with. Lets you do things you’d always wanted to but never dared. Anyway, just thought I’d put in a little promo for my species.

It takes a really damn long time to locate a teenage runaway when you’ve got no idea where they were headed, you know that? It took me damn near two months to figure out which city she’d ended up in, and then I only managed to find her by chance. I was goin’ out for a little snack one night and found myself on the wrong end of town. Now, I usually avoid hookers, since the blood’s never clean, but they’ll do in a pinch. Taste like shit, but vampires can’t get sick like humans can, since we’re dead and all. I didn’t know anything about the blood dealers in the town, so I decided just to find something fresh that wouldn’t be missed.

Pulled up to the corner and there she fuckin’ was, all dolled up like a little trollop. She had this tiny little skirt on that looked like it was made a plastic, along with this red top that looked like a handkerchief. She kept wrapping her arms around herself and covering as much skin as she could, dancin’ from one foot to another all the while. She had that tough look on her face, just like her sister, but I could tell she was scared.

There were a couple of punks there to handle the whores and I called one over. I pointed to Dawn and he gave me the required hard time about price, all the while I kept reminding myself that they’d all scatter if I ripped his throat out and then I might lose the niblet. We settled on something far less than what I would have paid and slightly more than I had on me, so I showed him the money and a couple of gold rings. He grinned, pleased to find that they were actual gold, and then called her over. They argued for a bit, but Dawn must have been out of money a couple times over, because she eventually gave up and jumped in the car beside me.

I drove the whole way to a motel without her looking at me once, which was bloody convenient for me. She spent the time staring at her hands like there was a Picasso on her nails. We arrived and I got out, grabbed a room, and went in to make sure the place was safe. She stayed in the car a good twenty minutes before she got up the guts to climb out. Then she walked into the room without looking up. I don’t know how she didn’t walk into the door.

It gave me time to get a good look at her, though. I noticed first that she’d lost some weight, but nothing like she would have as a junky. Her hair was messy, in need of some good, feminine TLC. Her scent, though, was what really made me smile. She was bloody terrified. None of the jaded acceptance, none of the experienced resignation, and it suddenly dawned on me that the bloke had given me such a hassle about the price because it was her first time. I realized that if I hadn’t been hungry enough for something from the wrong side of the tracks, someone would have stolen Dawn’s innocence that night. I’ve never been so grateful to be a vampire.

Dawn did eventually look up, wanting to see that devil she’d allowing into her bed, I suppose. When she saw me… I don’t know how to describe it. She just froze, like glass, then shattered into my arms. I spent a good half an hour just letting her snot into my jacket. Vampires don’t get all emotional and stuff, but… it was intense. It was really good to see her again.

We spent the night in the motel, and I let Dawnie sleep off the emotional aftermath while I sat by the door and kept watch. It was nearly morning when I’d found her, so Dawn slept through most of the day. When sunset fell, the niblet and I hopped in the car and headed back to my crypt.

Which… is really not a good place to raise a teen. Between the constant vampires around while I tried to build up my coven, the lack of human food, and the abundance of corpses, I had my hands full just trying to keep trouble away from the kid, not to mention the trouble she was getting herself into. By the end of the first week, I probably would have had at least nine heart attacks if my heart hadn’t stopped a century ago.

I figured I should probably send Dawn to finish her schooling, but I couldn’t stand the idea of putting her back in some kind of snotty, useless school to teach her math and that monsters don’t exist. It wouldn’t do any service to the girl to put her in a school that couldn’t understand her, and would probably drive her bonkers to be around so many clueless humans after living on the hellmouth so long. I wanted Dawn to be strong and ready to deal with anything life could throw at her, especially all the mystical somethings. I thought Buffy would approve.

So I sent the bit to a magic school. And, before you ask, it is bloody well not Hoggwarts. Lot of stupid human rot that idea is, a school for witches and wizards. Psh. The school I sent her to is for magical creatures of any kind. Teaches youngsters how to interact with other species, how to take care of themselves, and that kind of rot. There is absolutely no resemblance to that Harry Potter nonsense. Oh! But, if you happen to see an owl, or a bird of any kind really, flying around the castle, send it my way, eh? Especially if it has a package that smells like cookies.

Anyway, with Dawn tucked safely away, I turned my attention back to establishing my coven. I kept an eye out for other Scoobies, but… I never saw any signs of them. They’d all pretty much disappeared and, since Buffy was dead anyway, eventually I just stopped looking.

Which is when Xander finally turned up.

Now, granted, when I first saw him, I had no idea it was Xander. Honestly, he looked more like a badly beaten version of a werewolf at the time. He was so starved that there wasn’t much difference in the size, and you could barely tell what color his fur was as it was so covered in filth from the sewers. He was in his half form, stuck there from what I could tell, and splayed out on his side where my goons had dumped him just outside of our nesting site. It was a chilly night, I remember that well enough, and I could see his fur quivering a little in the cold. His hands were larger than a human’s and with thick, sharp nails attached. It would have looked deadly, if his skin hadn’t been so ripped and torn from digging and fighting. His arms were barely better, with less but deeper scratches that came from battling. His body reeked of infection, but it was his face that made me cringe. One eye was swollen completely shut and almost covered by the swelling skin. The other was slightly visible around the swelling, but it was misted over by a whitish infected pus, which was leaking slowly from then corner of each eye.

It was on the tip of my tongue to have it destroyed. The thing was obviously sick and probably barely hanging on to life anyway. Not only that, but it had been poaching in our lands, so I was well within my right to kill it.

But at the last minute a breeze wafted to me from the beast with such a distinct smell of Scoobies on it that I instantly knew.

This thing had eaten Xander.

I wasn’t prepared for a wave of cold fury to break over me. I felt my face change as the demon was called forth by my anger, and I was so shocked by my own emotions that I even let it growl menacingly at the helpless monster. I couldn’t understand my own rage. Xander hadn’t meant anything to me. He had been dinner when I was a demon and a thorn in my side when I got my soul. At the best of times, we were barely friends, and at the worst he was trying to put a stake through my heart. Why would I care if the little twat got eaten? I mean, I’d always kind of expected it.

But not from something like this. Xander was the white hat. He was supposed to go down in a blaze of glory, futilely defending his loved ones with his little strength and lot of heart. Even after he’d lost an eye, the fight had never gone out of him. It was an abomination, that some abhorrent mutant would end his life. Alone in the dark, the thing probably hadn’t even had to fight Xander. With his reduced vision, it probably just snuck up on him and broke his neck from behind.

The thought burned the icy blood in my veins. The idea that this filthy creature had pierced its vile and infected fangs into a pure soul like Xander revolted me, and I was moving before I even realized my intention. I lifted the brute by the throat with one hand, and prepared to claw its heart out with the other. The being remained totally lax, despite the fact that my hold had to be hurting it. It didn’t have the energy to struggle, and barely managed to lift its head enough to fix its one visible, watery eye on my face.

“Spike?” it whispered with such relief and annoyance that I almost dropped him. I carefully lowered the battered body back to the ground. He had closed his eyes, perhaps thinking that I would kill him and end his suffering. I stared at him, his form illuminated by the dim moonlight and my perfect night vision, and could only see the faintest traces of human in his form.

But there was no mistaking it. This was Xander. Whatever had gone down in Sunnydale had been bad enough to swallow the white night for one year and spit him back out just as dark and gruesome as any creature of the night.

But it was his soul I was truly worried about. The body we could fix with a little hocus-pocus and some elbow grease, but could any soul truly come through something that horrible unscathed?

“Where did you find him?” I asked a fledgling who was standing nearby. He stepped forward and bowed respectfully but curtly before answering. I hadn’t got to know much about that fledgling yet, but his name was Rick, and I would come to know that he was fairly useful as far as fledges go. Eventually I would put him in charge of leading the minions in my stead, but at the time he was just another fang in the crowd who happened to have been part of the team that found Xander.

“My lord, there are three tunnels that connect from the city to an underground network that leads into Sunnydale. One of the tunnels collapsed some time ago, but the other two are closed and closely watched for activity, by your orders. A few days ago, one of the tunnels was forced open and several demons came through. They were all destroyed and the tunnel was sealed early this evening. When the tunnel was closed, we did a thorough search of the area and found this demon hiding in the rubble. My group thought you might be able to use information about the hellmouth’s activity, so we brought him to you for questioning.”

“Was he one of the fighters that pushed though?”

“We don’t think so. A lot of demons got caught up in the surge and were accidentally pushed through. We think that’s why he was hiding instead of attacking or trying to escape.”

“Never knew this one for lyin’ down in a battle, ‘at’s for sure,” I murmured, thinking of all the battles I’d seen him survive on guts and balls alone.

“Sir?” the fledge wondered, and I turned to him, finished with my trip down memory lane and ready to give orders.

“Call the healers. I want this guy in top condition now. Also get the witches to come down and have a good look at ‘im, see if they can’t shake a spell or two out of him. I want him treated well and healed right, you got that?” I asked, glaring at the startled fledge.

“Of course, sir.”

“Good,” I said, stepping aside so that Rick could take the smelly burden for me. “Oh, and boy?” I called a he stepped away. “His name is Xander. If he asks, tell ‘im Spike wants him healthy enough to chain to a bathtub for a while. One good turn, right mate?”


	9. Spike's Story Continues: The Belly of the Beast

            But he didn’t ask. When I stopped by later that night to see him I expected to find him awake and being a big baby about stitches or something. I found him still solidly unconscious, just being taken out of a herbal bath by the healers. The tub was black with soot and blood, and the healers had pulled him out and laid him on the floor to wash off the remaining grime and work on some larger chunks of encrusted blood. The room was large and elegant, slightly Greek in style, and used by my healers for both treatments and purifications, along with some raunchier bath time escapades that I’d heard of. It was a white room with a large bathtub that could easily fit five adults. For Xander to have blackened that amount of water, and still have dirt running off him as they sprayed him with clean water, he must not have bathed since I left Sunnydale.

            But that wasn’t what shocked me most. The dirt was disgusting, yeah, but it was just dirt. What horrified me most was the state of his body. His hands and feet were slashed to ribbons almost down to the bone, and I could tell by the gnarled look to them that they’d been broken multiple times. His ankles seemed okay, but he held one of his wrists strangely and I had to assume that either the wrist or the entire arm had been broken some time recently and never properly set. There was dark bruising all over him, but especially on his chest and back, which must have come from being thrown around or falling and landing hard. It looked like he’d had more than one rib broken, and probably still had a few left to heal.

            I wish that was the worst of it. It’s certainly gruesome enough in itself, but that wasn’t the part that made me shiver. No, the shivering came when I realized that I could almost see every broken bone in his body right through his skin. It came when I realized that there was nothing but bone and a few remaining chunks of skin left hanging from his abused body. It came when it finally occurred to me that Xander had not only been turned into some horrible monster, but that he’d been beaten and starved on top of it all.

            The healers washed him, dried him, and moved him to a bedroom that served as a sickroom. Once he was placed on the bed, the healers stepped back and let the witches step up. Anything that had been made by the supernatural, like spells, venoms, or supernatural poisons, could be healed by them. Anything that was naturally made, like regular gashes and infections, would have to be taken care of by the healers with special support from the witches.

            Unfortunately, there wasn’t a lot on the boy that could be taken care of by the witches. A couple acid burns and a minor case of demon venom, but far more of his problems came from demons that simply used claws and enhanced strength. The witches could speed the healing, but they would be useless at keeping the problems from getting worse. Luckily I knew I had talented and reliable healers.

            Don’t let me sound like I have any idea what I’m talking about here. Honestly, I know a good bit about dark mumbo-jumbo, but the stuff for healing is way too complicated for me. Luckily, I managed to find myself one good mage to keep an eye on my magics and keep me in the loop. The only problem was that he was a complete ponce.

            His name was Jace, and isn’t that just a nancy-boy name if you’ve ever heard it? The first time I met him was in a bar back in LA. I had finally managed to escape my fledges and my duties as a master vampire long enough to get a bourbon, and this 20-something blonde twat starts hitting on me. It wasn’t the first time- I mean, look at me. I’m a homo-erotic walking wet dream- but I tried to tell him off gently. He wasn’t having it, so I finished my drink and high tailed it out, a little pissed off to have my evening cut short. The wanker actually followed me, and in the back ally my temper finally broke and I rounded on him in game face. He didn’t even bat an eyelash, just made some comment about liking the rough stuff or something. I took a swing at him, and found myself floating six feet off the ground, unable to so much as twitch an eyelid and buck naked.

            And that, oddly enough, is how I found my master mage. Seems Jace had been looking for the “hot vampire with the tight ass” who ruled that section of California to sign on with. After he let me down and I managed to convince him to orb my clothes back (and threatened to tear out his eyes if he watched me dress) we came to an agreement that pretty much put him as my right-hand-man in ruling my territory. I got the use of a powerful and experienced warlock, and Jace got a solid job, the chance to keep tabs on the new Big Bad in town, and never ending opportunities to attempt to get in my pants.

It… it went a lot more professionally than it seems. Once he stopped hitting on me… Alright, he’s never stopped hitting on me, but once he realized I wasn’t going to shag him, he cooled down a bit. And, honestly, he was just too damn strong for me to toss off just because he couldn’t withstand my insanely sexy body. Can’t blame the bloke, really. But, anyway, he could be professional when the situation called for it.

Which is why I really started to worry when he came to talk to me about Xander and didn’t immediately try to grope me.

I have to admit, for a 100+-year-old wizard, Jase didn’t look a day over 25. With raven black hair and stunning lavender eyes, he was something of a looker himself. Constant romps with demons and monsters kept him trim, though not as lithe as me. As usual, he wore a long-sleeved purple tunic over a pair of tight blue-jeans and black sneakers. If he wanted to look professional or intimidating, he’d toss on a full robe in royal purple or smoky gray and wave around a staff, but if he was actually working he seemed to like to mix traditional with functional. That, and he said his legs looked sexy in jeans. I wasn’t looking. Honestly.

“’Sup, mate?” I called since we were in my private rooms where I refused to use any of that formal shite I had to choke out in an actual court. The fact that Jase had come to speak to me in private, though, (and the fact that he had yet to so much as mention my bed, which was right beside us) worried me. “Somethin’ the matter?”

“I wanted to talk to you about the creature you brought in this morning.”

“Xander?”

“I think that’s what the fledges called him.”

“Is something wrong with him?”

“No.”

“Eh… then shouldn’t you look more pleased? Hell, what do you look like when the answer’s yes?”

“If there was something wrong, we could fix it. Since we can’t find a problem, though, we won’t be able to fix anything.”

“Alright, maybe it’s my 200-year-old hearing finally starting to go, but just what are we talking about? What is or is not wrong with Xander?”

“There aren’t any spells on him to turn him into a monster. Without a spell to remove, I don’t know what to fix.”

“How about the fangs and the fur? You could start there.”

“The fangs and fur are just a side-effect. There’s a demon soul inside of him causing all this.”

“So yank the sucker out.”  
            “The last thing I plan to start yanking on right now is a demon soul. Now, if you wanted me to yank some other demon parts on you…”

“We’re not talking about me here, we’re talkin’ about the boy.”

“Right, right.”

“So you can’t get the demon out?”

“It’s too soon to tell. The demon has such strong control over the body right now because of all the boy’s injuries that it’s impossible to tell what else is in there. It might be that there are memories of life as a human in there, like with a vampire, or it could be that the human soul is still completely in tact, like with werewolves. There’s simply no way to know until some of the wounds heal and cognitive powers begin reemerging.”

“So you’re hopin’ he’ll start thinkin’ once his body heals?”

“Basically.”

“So get with the healin’ mojo.”

“It’ll take time.”

“That’s fine. Call me when he comes around.”

“You don’t want to visit him?”

“For what? The whelp’d never even know I was there. Besides, I’m busy bein’ the Big Bad ‘n all. I don’t have time to be thinkin’ about every little runt who got himself into a mess.”

But all I did was think about Xander.

It was crazy, I know. I’d barely paid any notion to him back in the day. We were roommates for a while, and we got on pretty well, but we never really got close enough to be called friends. Out of all the Scoobies, Xander was the only one who never forgot who I was. More than that, he was the only one who never forgot that I was dangerous, and never lost that slight air of nervousness around me. Even when I was helpless to fight against humans, he never treated me like a pet or a charity case. He gave his aid grudgingly and warily because he knew that, even if I wasn’t evil, I was still bad.

Sometimes he was the only one who kept me from going insane. The others saw me as a pet, Buffy saw me as a leech, and the Watcher saw me as a particularly nasty breed of rodent. None of them saw me as a threat, and without Xander’s constant reminders that I was a powerful piece of scary, I probably would have forgotten myself.

So, I think I felt that I owed the little twat. That, and the grudging respect he had won from me with his pure bravery and unparalleled stupidity in the face of danger, made me feel like I really should do something for what used to be the heart of the Scoobies.

Problem was, even with all my power and resources, there really wasn’t anything I could do.

 


	10. Spike's Story Ends: Taming the Hyena

For an entire week the witches kept Xander solidly unconscious while they forced his body to heal rapidly. Said the pain of it would drive him insane, but I couldn’t see how it could be any more than what he’d already been through. Jase would tell me that they’d had to snap most of the bones in his arms, hands, and feet back into place before they could heal. He said that Xander’s body had taken well to the magics that healed scratches and bruises, but that he didn’t dare use strong enough magic to heal an infection on as sensitive an area as the face, so his eyes would have to heal the old fashioned way, though drops and antibiotics. Apparently while he was scrounging, Xander hadn’t had time to properly care for the hole where he’d lost his right eye, and in time it had gotten infected enough to spread to his left, rendering him nearly blind. Jase told me later that, with his wounds, starvation, dehydration, and the fever from infection, he doubted that Xander would have lasted another day if we hadn’t found him.

And because he’d been that close to death’s door, it took a full month before Xander came to place that could relatively be called lucid. It wasn’t consciousness, because he was still a beast, attacking the witches and healers any time he could. The demon inside of him must have been able to smell power on Jase, because he said that Xander had never attacked him without provocation, but it got bad enough with the others that Jase had to put a spell on Xander’s jaws and teeth to keep him from killing someone.

It was hard to connect the timid, awkward Xander from Sunnydale with the snarling beast that now prowled the basement of the abandoned office building I’d made my own. I went down to see him every few days as he was recovering, but for the most part he just slept on a mat in the corner of a darkened room, growling at anyone who came near. Feedin’ him was a problem, because he ignored anything cooked and rarely ate raw meet, but we found that he’d attack and eat pretty much any small animal we put in the room. We fed him rabbits, mostly. He seemed to like chickens the best, but I’d seen enough dead birds with Dru to know what a mess they make, so we stuck mostly to rodents and lagomorphs.

I guess I’ve always had a thing for the crazies. After so many years with Dru, it didn’t seem like a big deal that Xan had gone off the deep end. I’d go down every couple of days and treat him like I did Dru when she’d gone into a bad swing. Sometimes I’d hum to him, and if he was feeling particularly sociable I’d stroke his hair, but for the most part I just sat with him and gave him some company. That, and put those damnable drops in his eye and the hole where he’d lost one. Xan was pretty good most of the time, but get anywhere near his face and you’d see a whole new creature. Jase could handle him pretty well, but the witches were scared out of their gourds of the beast, so I’d give Jase a night off when I could. Damn, though, Xan could take a chunk out of a man. I left the basement on several occasions and was asked by fledges why they hadn’t been invited to the battle.

It wasn’t like I didn’t have other things to do while the whelp was healing. I mean, I wasn’t spending every minute with him, but he couldn’t have been in better hands, and I was dealing with my own shite. Since Sunnydale had been lost to the monsters, demonic activity in all the surrounding areas had more than doubled. I had my hands full simply keeping my area under control, with how many rogue demons were coming up. I spent most nights patrolling, and had to put down several uprisings from groups of demons along with all the loner demon killings I was doing.

So it wasn’t until three months had passed and he showed no signs of standing upright and not biting people that I started getting worried.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t gotten any better. Physically, he was nearly healed. His eye was still a little milky with infection, but he could follow movements just fine, especially when he was glaring hungrily at the witches when they skittered through the basement like the frightened rabbits they were offering. Jase had managed to convince him to change into a mostly human version of his were-form. Instead of a mutated werewolf, he was now a mostly human version of a hyena. His ears were still completely hyena, rounded and covered in soft brown fur, placed high on his head. His teeth were sharp and strong, but at least there were the proper amount for his mouth. His hair was lighter, a more cinnamon-brown shade than the nearly black color it had been before, and now it extended partially down his back in a short main. A light dusting of tan fur and brown spots covered the rest of his torso, then a short, thick tail came off the base of his spine. His hands and feet still held short, strong claws, but at least his fingers and toes were mostly human once again. No one had dared to try to get him in clothing, so it was easy to see how much and how little of him was human.

And then, in another two weeks, Jase finally got his eye cleared up. I came down one night and was pleased to find two dark brown eyes staring intently at me. And then I was shocked.

“Holy hell! He regrows organs? Awesome!”

“He does not regrow organs, you twit,” Jase said, rolling his eyes. “I managed to get a good quality replacement eye from a dwarven dealer. I’ve just been waiting for the infection in his other eye to clear up so that it wouldn’t spread to the new one and wreck all my hard work. I thought he’d rather enjoy having his depth perception back, but it seems to have backfired on me.”

“What are you talking about, mate? He seems more active than I’ve seen him in weeks,” I told him, watching Xander prowl around the walls of the basement. The only furniture in the large room was a table, a cabinet, and single bed, so Xander had most of the room to move around in.

“That’s the problem. Now that he’s fully functional, he’s been lunging at everyone, even me. The witches won’t even come down the stairs any more, and I nearly lost a finger when I tried to see how his new eye is functioning.”

“So? Toss the wanker down. I know you’ve got the power for it.”

“I don’t want to keep using spells on him. It’s not like using physical force when you use a spell. I could hurt him accidentally.”

“Well you can’t let him keep getting away with this,” I said, noting the dominant posturing and aggressive growls. “If he wants to be the alpha in this pack, he’s got to earn it,” I said, then strolled out of the stairwell and into the room.

Xander was on me in an instant. His teeth bared, those sharp fangs sank into my shoulder and I felt them grind on the bone. I hissed, feeling my face warp into my demon form, and tossed him off hard enough to slam him into a wall.

“Don’t be too hard with him, he’s still healing,” Jase cautioned as Xander rebounded off the wall and sprawled on the floor. A second later he shook himself, then was once again flying at me, this time tackling me to the ground and pinning me there with the sheer ferocity of his teeth and claws.

“You’re talkin’ to the wrong demon!” I shouted at Jase, although I didn’t have any actual fear that I would lose. Xander was still a kid, after all, and I was a much older, stronger demon. I tossed him to the side, letting him roll until he landed on his back. He scrambled, trying to get back to his feet, but I pinned him on his back before he could manage it. With his belly up, Xander was much more vulnerable, and he knew it. He thrashed in my grip as I moved over top of him, taking his throat in my powerful jaws and biting down until I tasted blood. As the rich, gamey taste flooded through my mouth Xander finally settled down and began to whine at me. I pulled back, quickly licking the wounds on his neck closed, and prepared for him to bolt away from me. Xander, to my surprise, began to nuzzle and lick at my face and throat, staying on his back and keeping his hands unthreateningly at his sides. The whining, too, continued even as I removed my weight from him and let him sit up.

“It looks like you managed to dominate him,” Jase said, coming to kneel beside us. Xander instantly started growling at him, baring fangs aggressively, but a short growl from me caused him to glance between me and Jase, and then he settled again.

“He seems alright now,” I said softly, putting a hand on Xander’s shoulder as Jase moved closer and leaned over the boy. Cautiously, ever aware of the teeth that were so close at hand, Jase gently examined Xander’s eyes.

“I wish you’d done that weeks ago,” Jase said as he finished and sat back. “This is the most well behaved he’s been in months.”

“Eh, apparently it was a fluke,” I told him as Xander began rubbing his face against my shirt. A moment later he started becoming more forceful, knocking me over with his shoulder and continuing to nuzzle my throat. “What in the hell is he doin’?”

“I think he’s trying to show his loyalty.”

“Then why is he biting me?” I asked as he began giving a series of small nips to my torso.

“You do realize that some types of demons show loyalty through sex, right?”

“What!”

“You know, you’ve dominated him, so you’ve pretty much won the right to screw him.”

“No, I… I… Shit! Can’t you do something?”

My clothes disappeared.

“Not that! Anything but that! What the hell are you doing?”

            “Trying to get you laid?”

            “No! Bad mage! Bad, bad mage!”

            “Look, pushing him away right now could make him feel rejected and send him spiraling into depression. Accepting him will give him a sense of pack, which could make him feel safe enough for the human part of him to come back out.”

            “You’re making this shit up!” I yelled, trying to hold onto Xander without actually touching him. He seemed determined to get as close to my groin as he could, and holding him away from it wasn’t proving to work much better, since his wiggling against me was turning me on.

            “Maybe, but nothing else has worked so far.”

            “Then what makes you think this will work?”

            “Nothing, but you two look hot together,” he said, giving me a lecherous grin.

            “You. Out. Now.”

            “Oh come on! After all my hard work with him, I can’t even watch?”

            “No.”

            “That’s totally unfair!”

            “I’ll show you unfair when I put my foot up your ass!”

            “Ooh, kinky.”

            “Get out!” I roared, which finally sent Jase flouncing toward the stairs.

            “Fine, fine, but you’d better make this up to me sometime,” he said huffily, then trounced up the stairs and was finally, thankfully gone.

            And a second later I desperately wished he was back, because being alone with a naked, willing Xander was not what I had intended at all. To make matters worse, the noises he was making and the pheromones he projected were driving my demon half wild, and my human side couldn’t deny that sleeping with Xander seemed to be a pretty logical idea. It would make Xander feel safer, which might let his human side resurface, and if nothing else it would make him a hell of a lot more manageable as a demon.

            I didn’t really think about it much. I guess I never do, when it comes down to the serious stuff, I just go with what my gut tells me. Xander was more than willing, obviously, and I found that somewhere deep down inside I wanted to dominate the body beneath me. More than that, I wanted to help the boy inside the demon shell, and if screwing him would make that happen, what the hell was I waiting for?

            “If we’re going to do this,” I growled at Xander, grabbing his arms and pinning him to the floor, “we’re going to do it my way,” I told him, and he whined agreeably even though I doubt he couldn’t understand what I was saying. I kissed his lips then, knowing that he probably didn’t know the significance of the move but feeling that it was the right thing to do anyway. He didn’t bite me, which I was grateful for, but he didn’t really respond until I slipped my tongue out and licked his lips, at which point he joined eagerly. I spent a moment tasting him, getting to know his flavor beyond the lingering traces of rabbit blood and his smell beyond the strong scent of herbs and antibiotics. Once I knew I could find him from miles and know him even blindfolded, I pulled back and released him.

            I expected Xander to turn over and offer himself to me, but I think he took my retreat as another rejection, and instead he followed me, nosing and licking at my groin. I a gasped and couldn’t help a moan as his tongue lapped at the head of my manhood. He took that as encouragement, and was soon lapping diligently at my dick. Hell, the boy might have been nuts, but he knew what to do to please a man. In just a few minutes, I was panting, despite the lack of need for air, and ready to move to the next stage.

            I gave a growl low in my throat, causing Xander to back off, then got to my knees. Xander eyed me hungrily, then turned around and laid his head and arms on the floor, keeping his legs slightly bent and spread wide. It looked almost like he was getting ready to bolt away, and only his eyes burning into my form convinced me that he would let me mount him. Open like he was, his chest heaving and his manhood bobbing between his spread legs, he looked like some kind of primitive incubus. I didn’t have much trouble imagining this creature seducing men into sin.

            I crawled up behind him, licking my fingers to prepare him, but when my hand strayed toward his entrance his ears went back and he snarled angrily, preparing to snap at me. I knew better than to get in another fight with him under these conditions, and I knew how strong his body was now that it was healed, so if he didn’t want me making this easier for him I wasn’t going to fight. I growled back but moved my hands up to his ribcage, holding on as I leaned over him and positioned myself. When the head of my dick was pressed against his opening, I took the back of his neck in my jaws and began to slowly press forward, knowing he wasn’t prepared. I expected him to snarl and thrash in pain, but instead he yowled and bucked his hips against me. It was only knowing that he hadn’t been prepared and had probably never done this before that made me hold onto his hips, keeping him from forcing himself back on me. He continued to growl and yip impatiently until I was firmly inside. He growled low in his throat as I started thrusting, too low for a purr but too pleased to be a real growl. His body was hot around me and he thrust back as eagerly as I thrust forward, slamming our bodies together so fiercely that some demons probably would have been injured. Xander growled in pleasure, the sound sending ripples of pleasure through my body so strong that with a roar of my own I slammed home and spilled my warm seed into his hot body.

            Sweaty and panting, I pulled out of Xander and fell to the side, only to have him turn and once again begin licking my face and neck. I patted his head and rubbed his arm, hoping he’d calm down and sleep soon, before I noticed the fact that his dick was still fully erect, dripping precum down its length. I reached out to touch it, but he shied away, baring his teeth. I guessed that hyena pack leaders probably didn’t return the favor in situations like this, but I also knew that he wouldn’t settle down with something like that between his legs, so I lunged at him, pinning him on his back with his throat once again between my teeth. He went limp instantly, whining piteously, especially when I took his cock in my hand. The whining turned to yowling, however, when I began rubbing his length, and a moment later I leaned down, delivered a quick lick to the head of it, then bit down on his thigh, drawing blood. Xander gasped and snarled, but didn’t move to attack as I lapped at the blood, tying him to me as my mate for however the hell long a hyena mating lasts. With that done, I turned my attention to his neglected cock, quickly bringing him to climax and letting him spill his seed on the floor. His body, which had been tense as a bowstring, went completely limp, and he just barely managed to whine and bring himself to curl up beside me. I was just as spent, if not more. To hell with it all, I decided, then curled around him and fell asleep.

            Things improved drastically, but not in any way I had hoped. Xander was much better behaved and never attacked Jase again, though he still nipped at the witches every once in a while. He continued to heal and, with his new-found good behavior, Jase convinced me to take him out hunting for deer at least twice a week, which gave Xander food that more closely resembled his natural prey, gave the pup some exercise, and we both really enjoyed anyway. It was amazing to watch the skilled predator Xander had become.

            But that was all he was. There was still no sign of the human boy that had once inhabited the now-demonic body. Even three weeks after we had coupled, Xander was still nothing more than a glorified pet.  

“So how long until he starts yammerin’ again?” I asked Jase one night after Xander had been fed and was curled up in my lap, lazing.

“Never, if this keeps up,” Jase said with a sigh, flopping down beside us and rubbing Xander’s ear. “I’ve tried everything magically I can think of, and there’s nothing left. The only thing we can do is to convince the demon that it shouldn’t be there or the human that it should. None of the positive reinforcement has worked and I’ve just about run out of ideas with the negative.”

“Negative reinforcement? Like, you’re hurtin’ him?” I asked, upset even by the thought.

“Only when he asks,” Jase joked in his usual pervert fashion. “No, I’m actually trying to frighten the demon into the recesses of Xander’s mind. So far I’ve tried loud noises, fires, and falling, but none of it has worked.”

“You’ll never frighten Xan with that shit,” I told him, grinning from ear to ear. “But I know something that’ll scare the pants off the wanker. Get your spells ready, ‘cause this demon’s about to be headin’ for the hills.”

 

 

 

 

            It was only when Xander stumbled in that I realized how engrossed I had been in Spike’s story.

            “What are you guys doing?” he wondered, coming to plop down beside us on the bed. With his sleep-tussled hair and his goofy grin, I had to wonder at how frightening he had seemed last night. In the morning light he seemed to be completely Xander again.

            “Tellin’ the story of your life, pet. Here, why don’t you take over?” Spike said, stretching and getting up. “We were just at the part where your human half comes back out. I’m goin’ to get some brekkie, so you two behave while I’m gone,” Spike said, then walked out of the room. I expected to feel some kind of nervousness about being alone with Xander, but I couldn’t seem to rally any fear as he gave me a warm grin and leaned back against the head of the bed, crossing his legs and closing his eyes.

            “Man, this is some story.”


	11. Xander's Story: Waking Up

            When I woke up, Mrs. Gravey was calling my name and everyone in my fourth grade English class was staring at me.

            “W-ha…?”

            “Mr. Harris, I asked you to go to the board and answer the question. The rest of the class would like to continue with the lesson, if you don’t mind,” she said. I stared at the blackboard, but it all just looked like squiggles and triangles to me. Some of my classmates were giggling, including Amy Trehoff, who I had a crush on. I wished that Willow were in the same class so she could give me a clue, but Wills was way too smart for this stuff. And, apparently, I was way too dumb.

            But everyone was staring at me, so I had to do something. I stood up and the whole class burst into laughter. Mrs. Gravey looked like she was about to explode. I looked down to see that I was wearing nothing but a pair of blue boxers.

            “Mr. Harris! If you cannot even dress yourself for class you will have to go to the principal’s office!” Mrs. Gravey shouted. I nodded, desperately trying to think of where my clothes could have gone, and walked out of the room.

            The hallway was a curious mixture of underground tunnel and K-12. The walls were made of gray concrete blocks, and someone had managed to mount yellow lockers to it. The floor was the same ugly blue and brown tile I remembered, but the ceiling was curved and covered in a medley of rusted metal poles and wires. Someone had hung flickering neon lights from the old metal, which made everything seem shadowy and surreal. I moved through a huge archway that seemed to be supporting the walls and saw a water fountain on the other side, along with the wooden door to the principal’s office. I could see soft light coming through the foggy glass window and decided that, whatever was inside, it couldn’t be any stranger than what was out here.

            The walls of the office were still the same gray color as the rest of the building, but all the furniture seemed to fit in the school setting. There was a large wooden desk with a large black chair that was facing the wall and a small, white filing cabinet, along with a couple chairs for the bad students to sit in. I quickly walked in and took a seat.

            The chair swiveled around and I found that it was occupied by Spike, who, dressed in his usual black coat and skintight shirt, looked painfully out of place, even in my dream. I noticed, for the first time, that the plaque on the desk read “Principal Bloody” and had to suppress a hysterical laugh.

            “I’ve ‘ad a good look at your permanent record, mate,” Spike said, staring at me with eyes that were so much less scornful than I remembered. “and I’ve got to say it’s not impressive. So, care to explain what you’re doin’ ‘ere today?”

            “I-I had a dream,” I admitted softly after a long pause.

            “And what was this dream about, pet?” he prompted, and I knew I’d have to tell him everything from my nightmare.

            “Buffy… messed up.”

            “Oh?”

            “When she called all the potential slayers into battle. She messed up. We didn’t know it at the time, of course, and how would we? We thought it would be great, to have all those girls out there, kicking butt, fighting the badness.”

            “It wasn’t?”

            “No, it was… at first.”

            “What happened?”

            “We didn’t know, okay? We didn’t know!”

            “What happened?”

            “There weren’t any more slayers. When the girls started dying off, no one came to replace them. The magic that made the slayer was supposed to make one slayer at a time for a thousand years. Instead we made a thousand slayers in one year. We used up all the magic. So when the slayers started dying, we couldn’t make any more.”

            “Is that all?”

            “God no! It… I…”

            “In the dream…?”

            “In the dream. Right. In the dream, we were trying to make one last push against evil. We took the slayers on raids, killing anything and everything evil. We had almost freed the whole world of evil, but we’d taken such losses to that slayers that…”

            “That what, pet?”

            “Evil decided to make one last push back.”

            “Opening the hellmouth,” Spike said, and I nodded.

            “Not just the hellmouth, opening all the hellmouths all over the world. We split the slayers across all parts of the globe, sending our strongest to Sunnydale to fight the largest hellmouth. It opened… and we were overcome.”

            “What happened?” Spike asked, and I realized suddenly that he was sitting beside me and had been for some time. The presence of his body, even without the heat, soothed me, though I couldn’t fathom why.  

            “What then, pet?” Spike asked gently, and it was almost strange enough for me to stop, but I knew somehow that I needed to tell the story.

            “Buffy and her slayers went down first. Once the tides started to change and we realized that the slayers might not win, Giles and I started trying to evacuate the area. We put Dawn on a bus and sent her away. By then we had realized that Buffy and the slayers were dead, so Willow went in to hold the demons back. Giles drove one of the last vans out of Sunnydale, and I went back for Willow. But Willow was… was…”

            “Dead.”

            “Devoured. When I went down they were… were _eating_ her! And Buffy! My sisters! The only real family I ever had and they were using it for brunch! I was so angry and sickened and overcome with rage that I… I…”

            “You don’t know, do you?” Spike asked, and I shook my throbbing head.

            “I think I fell asleep, but that doesn’t make sense because I remember tearing the demons to shreds first. I… it doesn’t matter, does it? It was just a dream, right? Just a stupid dream.”

            “’Course it was, pet,” Spike whispered gently, pulling me to my feet and pulling me to the back of the room, where he led me to a bed. I was suddenly so tired that I wasn’t even surprised that I wasn’t surprised there was a bed in his office. I just… didn’t want to think, so I let him tuck me in and he let me curl around the pillow and huddle in the corner.

            “Sleep now,” he ordered, covering me with a heavy quilt. “Rest your mind for a bit, and you’ll feel better when you wake.”

            But, somehow, I felt like I’d been sleeping for a very long time, and it hadn’t made me feel any better.

            The next time I woke up, it was to the sound of quiet voices talking and the feel of fingers running through my hair. No one was calling for me, and it felt so good to be curled up and safe, with someone giving me attention, that I just laid there and took it all in.

            “When do you suppose he’ll wake up?” I heard Spike say, and realized that he was the one sitting by my head, stroking my hair.

            “There’s no way to know,” another voice said, one that I didn’t recognize but I sort of trusted anyway, if that makes any sense. “His subconscious needs time to heal his consciousness and his mind needs to readjust. He’ll need to reestablish a mental hierarchy with his demon, as well.”

            “Sounds painful.”

            “Might be, but it could go pretty easily. Primal demons aren’t like vampires. His demon might not fight for control of the body like yours did. As long as the primal’s instincts are fulfilled, it probably won’t cause any trouble.”

            Demon? What… Oh.

            “The hyena,” I whispered, causing the both to start and look at me.

            “That’s right, Xander.”

            “The hyena’s still in my brain, but… I think it’s sleeping.”

            “I thought it might,” he said and I got a good look at him as he moved closer. “When it wakes up, you might be in for a fight.”

            “It doesn’t usually fight me. I can keep control of it,” I said, sitting up even though it displaced Spike and made the pleasant petting stop. “Where am I?”

            “What do you remember?” Spike asked.

            “I… Nothing. I don’t…” I said, frowning. “I was dreaming and… Hey… aren’t you dead?”

            “That I am, pet,” Spike said softly, grinning.

            “No, I mean dead-dead. I mean… not vamp dead. Didn’t you… you know… incinerate or something?” I wondered, pushing myself up on my elbows.

            “Yes, Xander, that ruddy amulet burned me to ash, and then Angel brought me back. Well, not really Angel, but… It’s complicated.”

            “Oh,” I said, taking that in. “You couldn’t… call?”

            “Wouldn’t have looked very heroic for me to have sacrificed myself and bounced right back, would it? Besides, Buffy had her hands full already, you know?”

            “But… couldn’t you have…?”

            “I was fighting my own battles when everything went to pot. I wouldn’t have been any more help to Buffy than I was holding the line outside of Sunnydale. There wasn’t anything anyone could do,” he said firmly. I was trying hard to keep up with his words and understand what he was saying, but everything was going to fast. It was all too hard to remember, and my head was starting to ache. The hyena stirred in the back of my mind, and I found myself laying my head on Spike’s lap with a murmured, “Head hurts.”

            Spike stilled when I moved, probably shocked that the boy who spent so many years fearing him was laying his head on his lap like a puppy, but then recovered and started rubbing gentle circles at my temples. My headache began to fade, and slowly I started drifting back to sleep.

            “It’s too much at once, isn’t it, whelp?” I heard Spike murmur in a soothing voice. “Sleep now, and forget what you can. There’s plenty of time to remember it all.”

            I slept a lot in those first weeks with Spike. Jase said that it was my mind trying to cope with the truth of what happened. I think I was just trying to run away from it all. Either way, by the time the month was out I was sick of sleeping and jittery for something to do with my hands. I would walk the building all day long, peering into dusty, unused, nearly collapsing rooms and contemplate how I could fix them, but having neither permission, tools, or the will to start the projects, the rooms continued to gather dust and decay. After another month of wondering and contemplating, though, I was finally desperate enough to talk to Spike.

            Not that Spike and I didn’t talk. Actually, that’s all we seemed to do. Almost every evening he would come to the basement that had become my bedroom. The hyena felt more comfortable there, in its burrow, and I think Spike liked the feeling of my lair, because he would come and hang out with me if he had any extra time. Spike had more furniture brought down, including a refrigerator, a microwave, a large bed, and a couch, and he even got me a TV set and a bunch of new movies to watch. He’d come down and we’d grab a couple of beers from the fridge, heat some blood for him and some TV dinners for me, and then spend the night watching all kinds of movies. Spike was alive when movies started being made, so he knows all kinds of stuff, and sometimes I think he’s making shit up, but that’s kind of fun too.

Sometimes, though, we wouldn’t turn the TV on. We’d just sit and talk all night. I was so desperate for conversation that I’d take talking over TV almost any time. And… and sometimes, if I’d had a bad day or I didn’t want to be alone, I’d try to keep him talking as long as I possibly could, so that I’d fall asleep and I wouldn’t have to watch him leave. And sometimes, when I’d had a really bad day or I couldn’t stand to be alone, I’d talk myself to sleep and wake up in the middle of the night, and Spike would be curled up at the other end of the couch. When I woke he was always gone, but I slept easier knowing that he was there, even on the nights that he wasn’t.

Christ, that wasn’t what I wanted to tell you at all. Focus, Xander, focus. Anyway, I finally got up the guts to approach Spike for something to do, so I went to find him in his office. It was evening, too early in the night for him to come to see me, but I knew that if I waited any longer I’d lose my nerve. I don’t know why I was so hesitant to ask him for something, especially after how demanding he was when he stayed with me back in Sunnydale. Still, Spike was the only friend I had and probably my only connection to sanity, so as well as we’d been getting along, I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.

I knocked lightly at his door and entered when he gave a huffy, “Wot? Y’ can’t need another bloody order yet, y’ pounce.”

“Hey, Spike.”

“Oh, it’s you,” he said, looking mildly relieved. “I thought it was another minion coming crawling. What can I do for you then, pet?”

“I need wood,” I blurted bluntly, and Spike gave me that raised eyebrow that always makes me feel like an idiot.

“Come again?”

“I want… I want to work with my hands,” I said, then realized wasn’t any better as Spike gave me a leering smirk. “God damn it, Spike, get your head out of the gutter.”  
            “’S not my fault you put it there, pet.”

“I need… I need something to do. I can’t… I can’t just wait around doing nothing all the time you’re gone. I know you could always use stakes in case some of the other vamp covens get bitey in your territory, and I can make chairs and tables and all kinds of stuff. There’s a ton of projects I could do around here if I just had the tools.”

“Sounds good to me,” Spike said with a shrug, turning back to his papers. “I’ll send a minion for the stuff in the morning. Just don’t wear yourself down, but otherwise you’ve got the run of the place.”

“Cool. So… I’ll just get out of your hair then,” I said, making no move to leave. Spike nodded, but didn’t look up from his papers. I continued to stand there.

I knew I was supposed to be leaving. Logically, I knew that I should be going, that there was no real reason for me to stay. The hyena, though, was desperate to be near its mate, and the more it demanded we stay, the more I wondered why it was so important to leave. I mean, what else did I have to do?

I found myself moving suddenly in the direction of Spike’s desk. I made myself hesitate, just to be sure I could stop, then plopped down on the floor beside Spike’s chair, feeling the hyena curl up in contentment in the back of my mind. Spike, meanwhile, stared at me for a moment as though I’d gone loony, then smiled gently and stroked my cheek.

“Your spots are showing, mate.”  
“Huh?”

“You’ve got spots all along your face and arms, like the hyena.”

“Oh.”

“I’ll assume he’s the one that wanted to sit next to my desk like a good pet, right? I thought you said you had the hyena under control?”

“I do… Well, I did. He’s… not stronger, really, but closer to the surface. It’s hard, sometimes, to see where his thoughts end and mine begin. He wanted to be near you, and suddenly it was very important to me too. Do you think… Do you think I’m losing it?”

“I think it’s pretty damn well gone already. But I don’t think little things like this are going to hurt and I can’t imagine you’ll let it get too much worse. You start eating pigs, though, and I’ll get worried.”

“Who told you about that?”

“What?”

“Nothing,” I covered quickly. I hadn’t eaten a live pig since the hyena had first possessed me, and I didn’t plan on repeating the action or giving Spike room to tease me about it. Poor little piggy…

That evening, I had sat by Spike’s desk, content to listen to the sound of his pen swiping across the page in long, elegant lines, for nearly an hour before Spike put everything aside and took me downstairs for a beer and a Rocky movie. We sat together on the couch and, for the first time, I gave in to the hyena’s yearning and leaned my shoulder against his, eventually letting my cheek fall onto his shoulder. He didn’t make a big deal out of it. He didn’t shove me off, like I’d been half afraid he would, and he didn’t try to make a move on me, like I’d been terrified he’d do. He just sat there, and eventually let his arm wrap around my shoulders when he settled back further into the couch, and stroked my hair and my cheek as I started dozing off. It wasn’t much really, but it made all the difference. The hyena sighed in contentment, and something in the human part of my mind began to dream of coming back out of the daze I was in.


	12. Xander's Story: Life With Spike

The next few weeks were almost serene. I’d spent so much time pretty much pacing my cage without anything to do that finally getting down to work felt blissful and I made 2 tables, 8 chairs, and 16 elaborately ornamented stakes in the three weeks that followed. Spike started to tease me about sending the stakes as gifts to vampires he didn’t like. I think he would have done it, too, but he liked the designs I made too much to waste them like that.

My relationship with Spike, as well, had hit something of a pleasant plateau. During the day I would occupy myself with my carpentry, and then at night we would still watch movies and drink, except now we would curl together on the sofa. Sometimes, if I happened to fall asleep on the sofa, Spike would pick me up and put me to bed, and sometimes I would even ask him to stay. As the nights he stayed became more frequent, the hyena became more content. To the hyena, my days were filled with work, which was like hunting and digging would have been in the savannah, and my night were filled with interaction with Spike, which would have been bunking down in the burrow with the pack to the hyena. My mind, as well, seemed to… clear.

It… it wasn’t all good, though. I had some… problems with the fledges. Some of them saw me as an interloper, and tried to kill me, but the hyena was still awake enough to take care of them, and more than once I found myself with a mouth full of dust and no explanation of how it got there. A few of the fledges tried to befriend me, but they always had something they wanted me to get Spike to do, and when I eventually stopped giving them favors they pretty quickly turned on me. It… It hurt, to be so close to having friends, to be so much like the old stupid Xander from high school again, and Spike noticed right away. He’s damn perceptive, when he wants to be. He figured the whole thing out in a matter of days and tied more than half of his fledges out in the yard to burn in the sun. He didn’t make any more after that, and the ones that were still around steered clear of me. The minions… well, you saw it. The minions still won’t look at me.

It seemed like the high points in my life just then were really, really high, but the low points were equally low. I was… I was so damn lonely and lost with just Spike to talk to. There were times that I’d be in the middle of the swing of my hammer and would become so overwhelmed with grief and fear that I’d drop the hammer and start bawling. More than once Spike came hunting for me because he could smell salt in the air and he knew vampires couldn’t cry human tears. I think I spent more time huddled in the corner sobbing than I did sitting down in the first six months I was there. And sometimes, even worse than the crying, I’d just become overcome with rage and yell and curse at anything within range, throwing stuff and making a damn idiot of myself. Even the hyena looked at me funny during those outbursts, but there was nothing I could do. And through it all, Spike stayed by me.

And then, one day after a particularly ferocious bout of rage that left a gash on Spike’s head and an equally emotional bout of weeping that practically ruined his favorite shirt, I realized that I couldn’t live without him. It was a terrifying realization to have, even curled up like we were on my couch with an old Jaws movie playing, because I wasn’t sure I loved him. I liked Spike as a friend, the hyena liked him as a protector, and we both found him attractive as a mate, but I knew that none of those things were really love. I knew it, but I also knew I couldn’t risk waiting only find out it wasn’t there. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt in my mind, that were Spike to leave me, I would surely be dead within a week. He was stability to me now. He was safety. I had seen the pit of the world and Spike had pulled me out. I would die before I slipped back in.

Spike’s hand was gently running from my shoulder down the length of my back, soothing me offhandedly, as though he’d been doing it forever, and I realized how desperately I craved this kind of affection. I wondered, in a twisted sort of way, if some of my problems didn’t come from the fact that I knew if I had a fit I could get this treatment afterwards. It was a sick notion, but one I couldn’t put past myself just then. But the really sick, twisted part about it was that I knew Spike would hold me like this without a second thought any time I wanted. I just couldn’t bring myself to ask.

And why the fuck not? Even then, I couldn’t understand my own fucked up, warped logic. What the hell was I so afraid of? It certainly wasn’t Spike, and it certainly wasn’t sex, because I’d had both of those as the hyena and been pretty damn close as a man. And, to tell the truth, I’d been having a hard time not getting… well… hard when Spike touched me. I couldn’t stop myself a couple of times, and I’m sure Spike knew with those damn vampire senses, but he let it go and I managed to wish it away with pure mortification if nothing else.

But… why? What was stopping me? And if it was nothing… why shouldn’t I start?

What the hell. I decided to stop being such a baby and just go for it.

I turned over and pressed myself against his chest, pushing one of my legs between his and resting my cheek against the fabric of his silk shirt.

“Uhh… what are you doing?” he asked suddenly, and I totally panicked.

“’I-it’s cold,” I said, giving a fake shiver and rolling my eyes at myself. Nice way to be seductive, Xander. Yes, let’s leech heat off of the corpse. Now he’s going to think you’re crazy and stupid.

“Lemme go fetch us a blanket, love,” he said, starting to rise.

“Don’t leave me,” I said piteously, knowing that he couldn’t resist my puppy-dog eyes. Maybe I could still turn this around.

“Alright, pet, was just goin’ across the room anyway, but you’re gonna stay cold without it.”

“You’ll warm me up,” I said confidently, pressing closer to the cold body beside me.

“Uh… pet,” Spike said in a slightly pained voice, “in case you’d forgotten… I’m not capable of generating heat. Vampire, remember?”

“I was hoping,” I said, shifting so that my grinning face was only inches away from his confused one. “for something more along the lines of… friction,” I said seductively, then kissed him firmly.

It’s a little strange to kiss a vamp, you know, because they don’t make their own heat and all. It makes you want to jerk back, for a second, because we instinctually seek out heat in our partner. Once you get over that, though, the lack of heat makes everything more… crisp. You feel everything that’s being done because you aren’t overwhelmed by the burning heat. But you don’t get a cool vamp for long, because they absorb heat at an amazing rate, and then you’re left with a partner who feels alive and has no need to breathe. It… it makes for some damn good kissing.

            We parted eventually because I still needed to breathe every once in a while and Spike let me have a few minutes to gasp before turning my face to look at him.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, pet,” he said seriously, and I realized that he was giving me last chance to get out.  
            “Who says I can’t finish?” I asked seductively, despite the slight wheeze I still had from being winded. Damn lungs.

“Xander?” Spike asked, looking disbelievingly at me. “That is Xander in ‘ere, isn’t it? The hyena didn’t finally learn how to talk?”

“It’s me, bleach-boy.”

“Yeah, it’s you alright, but… what the hell are you doing?”

Oh god. This. This was where the fear had come from! My god, what if he said no?

“I want this,” I whispered desperately, feeling my body stir as I rubbed against him, feeling the primal needs of the hyena and the complicated needs to the man meet in the act of _needing_ Spike so badly that my body was seared with desire and I panicked, sinking my clawed fingers into his shoulders without noticing.

“Shush, pet, I’m not leavin’ ya. I’ll give it to ya good, but yeh got to calm down enough to get it, alright?” he soothed softly, and only then did I smell the blood from where my claws had cut him. The hyena whined while the man cursed and tried to pull away, but Spike held firm against both of them.

“Do you really want this, Xander?” he asked firmly, turning my face so that my eyes met his. “This isn’t just the hyena, or some fucked up way of repaying me for straightening you out? Because I won’t have you turn on me when you suddenly wake up and realize what you’ve been sleeping with,” he said, almost snarling at the end, but there was fear and longing in his eyes. I remembered how much I had feared him before, when he was just another soulless vamp, and how Buffy had screwed him just enough to make her problems go away then tossed him to the curb, and I realized I wasn’t the only one with insecurities.

“It isn’t. I wouldn’t do that to you. I don’t know what will happen or how long it will last, but… You make me feel like a person again. Like I must be worth something, because you take all this shit from me and keep coming back. I want to be close to you, all the time, but I guess I’ll just have to live with being really close in the time I get. The hyena knows your smell and your taste, but it’s all fuzzy in my mind. You… You know everything about me. I want to know you. I want… I want to be with you.”

And he took me to bed.

I won’t go in to all the squicky details because I know you wouldn’t currently appreciate them. Maybe someday, when you’re a little less jumpy about the whole thing, I’ll tell you about my first time that really wasn’t because the hyena had been getting jumped by him every time it could for two months while I was asleep, but I do want you to know that it was amazing. Spike couldn’t have been any gentler had I been a blushing virgin… well, a virgin, anyway. I… I think I had more blood in my face that first time than I did in my cock. For some reason, despite how eager I had been at first, as soon as we got naked I was totally out of my depth. But… yeah… you didn’t need to hear that. Anyway, I just want you to know that Spike’s a really good lover when he wants to be. I mean, with a hundred years of vampire experience, that guy knows a thing or two about sex. And the no breathing thing is really awesome. Oh, and there’s this thing he can do with his tongue that… well… ah… you’ll probably find out later.

So… the sex was awesome, and it helped calm me down a lot, but… I still panicked a lot, too. You should have seen me the first time Spike had to go away for a demon conference and leave me behind. I totally flipped out. I’ve gotten a little better since, especially if Jase stays with me when he’s gone, but that first time was just crazy, even for me. I had this hysterical fit all day before he left, and he finally had to have me locked in the basement so he could leave. I lasted about eight hours in the basement before I freaked and let the hyena take over. I told you the hyena was closer to the surface, right? So, I’m actually able to change into a full hyena, as well as the partial forms, and I’ll do a full change whenever I need to fight. I killed two minions that were supposed to be guarding me and followed Spike’s trail for fifty miles until I found him in another vampire’s nest.

I remember sneaking under a high fence and up to a huge mansion. I remember that I jumped through this huge glass window and landed on the table that all the delegates were gathered around. Spike was at the end of the table, so I landed directly in front of him, snarling into his face. Man, was he ever pissed! I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that angry, not even the time I spilled Pepsi all over his Billy Idol albums. His eyes seemed so cold as he glared at me, like he was daring me to make another move. I felt the hyena tremble in fear for the first time, and I found my body plastered against the table, staring piteously up at my pack leader and hoping for mercy. I had disobeyed the alpha and I would take any punishment required. Anything but being cast out.

Spike growled at my move, but I saw that some of the true rage fade as he took off his belt. I shivered, this time because the man was afraid. I’d been belted before and I knew how bad it could be if someone was truly angry. But Spike didn’t hit me, instead fastening the belt around my neck for a makeshift leash.

“Take this wanker up to my room,” he growled, handing the leash off to a very nervous-looking minion. “Gents, if we could get back to the business at hand?” he said, never even glancing at me as I was led away. I followed meekly, and stayed huddled in the corner next to the bed when the minion left me. I had been bad, and it hurt to think I had angered the one person who really cared about me.

Hours must have passed before Spike came up to the room, because I had fallen soundly asleep, still curled in the corner. I smelled Spike before I ever really realized he was there, so the gentle touch on my shoulder didn’t startle me. I turned to look at him, hoping to gauge his mood by his expression, but his face was calm and gave me no hint of how angry he might be. I looked down and was surprised to find that I was mostly human again, huddled in the corner with my arms wrapped around my legs.

“I’m sorry I ruined the conference,” I found myself whispering, still staring at my knees. “Are you angry?”

“Yes, but not ‘bout the conference. You were a smash hit, pet. No one wants to mess with the Master vamp who can ‘take down a hyena just with the power of his glare.’ Made my night a hell of a lot easier, I’ll say that much, but what in the bloody hell were you thinking?” he asked, leading me out of the corner as he shook his head in exasperation. “You could have been killed. And what, exactly, did you think you were going to do if you reached me, eh?”

“I don’t know!” I snapped, dropping onto the bed and covering my face with my hands. “I was just so scared that you were going to leave me and never come back… I couldn’t think, Spike. I don’t know what happened, I just… I totally lost control,” I told him miserably, desperately, as he sat down beside me and took me into his arms.

“I know, love, I know,” he whispered soothingly.

“And it’s not getting any better, is it? I was hoping… after the sex… it would just go away, and then after that didn’t work, I was hoping it would just fade on its own. But it hasn’t done either, has it? It… god, I think it’s getting worse,” I cried, my breath starting to come in panicked gasps. Spike gently kissed my forehead.

“It’ll be alright. Calm down. I won’t let you get hurt, even in your head, alright? Just let me make it better for now,” he said soothingly, tilting my head back for a long, passionate kiss. Afterwards, he made love to me slowly, giving me everything I needed to come back from the state I was in, just like he always did.

Spike had Jase fix me up with a psychiatrist who specialized in living with demon possession. I still… I still see her twice a week. Something about what happened, or all that time I spent as the demon, or maybe just because it was going to happen anyway, left me… a little unhinged. Talking everything out helped a lot, despite the fact that Spike had to physically drag me to every appointment, as did the medication they gave me, despite the fact that Spike had to force it down my throat to get it in me. It… helped, eventually, but… it hasn’t fixed everything. It… it’s hard for me to talk about, but I thought you should know before… before you decide if you want to be with… with me and Spike. You should know what you’re getting in to, you know? I… I’ve done a lot of work on this, but I still have… triggers. Being left alone is one of them, and being made fun of, and being helpless or unworthy. That’s why that happened… last night. When I get that upset and emotional, I totally lose control of the hyena and it does whatever it thinks it should to be safe.

I… I’m sorry.

 

 

            I waited for Xander to start again, assuming that it was merely regret that had caused him to stop, but after a few minutes he just got up and started to leave, looking lost and hopeless. I called to him quickly, before I thought better of it.

“I have to know…” I asked, unsure of how to ask but certain that I had to know the answer if I was ever going to feel safe around him again. “Last night, would you really have raped me if Spike hadn’t been there?” I asked, and got to watch him flush and blush at the same time.

“No, I… I wouldn’t have been capable. One… God, this is hard to talk about. One of the things the hyena does to feel safe when it’s upset is to have sex with the pack, which now includes you. Usually, because Spike is dominant, I just… I guess I start acting like a real slut around him. I’d do anything to get him to fuck me, and he usually obliges. With you being submissive to me, I guess it works a little differently. But, either way, when I’m in that state, I’m… I’m nearly impotent. Spike will give me slow sex when I’m like that because… because it takes forever for me to get it up. So, last night, I couldn’t have screwed you if I wanted to,” he said, and after a minute more he turned to leave.

This time I let him go, too absorbed in my own thoughts to worry about him.

What in the world was I going to do now?

 


	13. What the Wolf Wants

I managed to avoid them until lunch time, which I thought was pretty good considering that I was still, technically, their prisoner. I stayed in my bedroom just… thinking about everything. There was so much that had happened, so much that I’d missed out on with Spike and Xander, that I was having a hard time catching up. More than that, though, I couldn’t grasp what a future with the two of them would be like, and I spent the morning brooding and watching the clouds out of the one small window that graced my room.

I explored my room a bit, after thinking too much started to give me a headache, and found that the dresser still had some clothes in it. I eagerly donned a pair of old leather pants that were slightly too small and a long-sleeved white shirt with a hint of ruffles at the collar and sleeves. It looked… antique and girly, but I was just happy to be clothed. A pair of boots from an old trunk, and I was actually starting to feel like a person again. When the sun was high enough for it to be about mid-day, I heard a soft knock on my door and Xander peaked inside.

“Hey. Umm… there’s food, if you’re hungry. I could bring it up or you could come down, whatever you want.”

“Could I get it to go?” I asked, but smiled to tell him I was teasing. He gave me a wan smile of his own.

“Alright, so… not whatever you want. I think you’re going to have to pick one of the two options. I…” he said, faltering and losing the smile. “I’d let you go, after last night, but… Spike still wants to give this a try. I… I can’t… I…”

“Answer me this,” I interrupted, staring at him directly and seriously. “Did Spike kill my pack just to get to me?”

“What?” Xander gasped, authentically shocked, as far as I could tell. “No way! I swear, we didn’t even know you were there. We don’t have any jurisdiction outside of this castle, you know, because the area around here belongs to another master vamp. We’re just visiting, so Spike couldn’t have made a move on your pack if he’d wanted to. Spike just… Spike just decided that I needed a companion and he decided to buy me one. If you hadn’t been there… I don’t know what I would have wound up with.”

“Mm,” I said, then proceeded him out the door without further warning. Xander paused a moment, surprised, then started trailing me about a foot behind, his head down and his shoulders slumped. After a minute, I’d had all the moping I could take.

“Look,” I said, turning on him. “My sense of smell is as good as any wolf’s, but even I’m having problems with all these drafts and corridors. So, if you want to get to the food this week, I think you’d better lead.”

“Um… okay,” Xander said, standing up slightly straighter as he took the lead and led me to the dinning room. Spike was already seated at the head of the table, sipping out of a large, brass goblet. There were plates set up on either side of him, and I took the place at his left while Xander slunk into the chair on his right. If Spike noticed this behavior, he didn’t say anything, but turned his attention toward me as I began inhaling my food. Maybe it was the near-constant terror of the last few weeks, but I was starving.

“So, pet, got any plans for the day?”

“Well,” I said, swallowing a mouthful of scrambled eggs. “I had planned on spending the day digging a tunnel in the basement and making my escape, but I’m flexible.”

“That you are, pup,” Spike said, smiling at the innuendo, “but let’s talk about your other talents. Xan-pet says you play. I was thinkin’ we could pop in for open mic night at the Rusty Nail tomorrow night. You up for some practice?” he asked, and to be honest the mention of music had me almost salivating. There was only one problem.

“I only play base guitar. If you want to hear anything more, you need to get me a band.”

“Not a problem,” Spike said with a shrug. “Xander plays the drums, and I can do lead guitar. Even sing a bit, if the occasion calls for it… and there’s enough booze.”

“Spike…” Xander said, staring dejectedly at the table. “I… I’m not very good…”

“Good enough,” Spike proclaimed. “’Sides, who cares if ya mess up? Some wanker says somethin’ and I’ll rip ‘em in half!”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Xander muttered, picking at his eggs.

“I’m fine with it as long as everybody keeps their clothes on,” I told them.

“Take all the fun out if it why don’t ya?” Spike said, grinning, then took a sip from his cup. I could tell from the smell that it was blood, but I couldn’t quite place the kind. It wasn’t human, but it wasn’t pig either. I took a bite of the rare-cooked meat on my plate and realized that it, and the blood, had come from a fresh deer.

“Kin take yeh on the next hunt if yeh want, wolfling,” Spike said, and I realized I’d been staring at his cup. I shook myself and turned back to my food.

“I like to keep my fur on my head as much as possible,” I replied, taking a bite of the deer meat. I had to admit, it was a lot better fresh.

“But you look so cute with all that ginger fuzz. Yeh got the cutest little trail of fur that comes down the back of yer neck, then all the way down yer spine, and then disappears right as it hits your arse. Like a giant arrow, pointin’ me right where I wanna go,” he teased, grinning fiercely. I glared, but thought it best not to respond. “’Sides,” Spike continued, his smile losing some of the intensity, “you could use some exercise. Nothing better to drive a wolf mad than bein’ inside all the time.”

“Nothing better to get people killed than to let the wolf out,” I replied hotly. It was strange, because I could usually manage to keep my temper under wraps, but for some reason Spike knew just what buttons to press.

“No worries, pet,” Spike replied calmly. “There isn’t a human around for a hundred miles.”

“So now you know every living creature for a hundred miles?” I snarled. “You don’t think some idiot could have gotten lost on a hunting trip or something? The wolf can’t be trusted around people! I won’t take that chance!” I yelled. Spike simply stared at me evenly, and I noticed how deeply blue his eyes were before I realized that I had stood up and we were now nose to nose. We stayed that way for another minute, but Spike’s gaze was severe and unflinching, and I backed down. I crossed my arms and turned away, as ashamed of giving Spike the win as I was of letting him get me that upset.

“I’m finished,” I snarled, resisting the impulse to just bolt out of the room.

“I can take you back to your room,” Xander offered, hurrying to stand, but Spike grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him back into the chair.

“You sit yer arse right there ‘n finish the grub,” Spike said, pinning him with a harsh glare that caused Xander to deflate back into the chair and stare sulkily at his food. “I’ll take the wolf back upstairs,” he said. I didn’t really care either way; I was pissed at Spike, but Xander still terrified me. 

Spike polished off his drink in one gulp, then rose gracefully from his chair and walked to the door.

“After you, pup,” he said, sneering. I resisted the urge to growl as I walked past him into the hall.

The trip back to my room was quiet and uneventful. I followed beside Spike and always one step behind, and told myself that it was because I needed him to show me the way and not because I didn’t dare to step in front of him. When we reached my door, Spike didn’t turn and leave as I had hoped, but proceeded me into the room and sat on the edge of my bed, ever mindful to stay out of the light that came in through my window. I contemplated giving him a little push toward the sunlight, but it would probably just piss him off.

“Kin see from yer clothes that you’ve been explorin’ the room. There’s a trunk of books under the bed if you get bored. Ya could always come down ‘n have some fun with me n’ Xan, but I can tell that you’re pretty well set on sulking in your room. Still, if you change your mind, I plan on giving Xander a riding lesson in about an hour. Then, this afternoon, I’m going to teach him all about horsemanship. If you want to join us, for either, we’d be happy to have you. Then I expect to see you in the grand hall this evening. I’ll let you put on a bit of a show, if your good,” he said, his eyes both mischievous and threatening. “If your bad, you’ll be putin’ on a lot of a show, get me?”

“What, gonna rape me in front of all the minions? You’ll excuse me if I’m not overly concerned what the corpses think of me.”

“You may not care what the minions think, and you may not care what I think, but you do care what Xan-pet things of ya, and we both know it,” he said. I couldn’t meet his gaze. We both knew he was right.

“Xander seemed pretty upset,” I said, surprised even as I said it that I felt bad about that. Despite everything he’d done to me, I felt bad about upsetting him. God, I was as screwed up as the rest of them.

“Cried all night,” Spike said, obviously unconcerned about sparring me any guilt. “’E hasn’t had a fit like that in a long time, but change always makes him anxious. He was really worried about you though. Kept goin’ on about how we should let you go one minute, and then cryin’ about how you’d want to leave ‘im the next. Isn’t eatin’ well, either,” Spike said, standing and moving casually toward the door. “but it’s nothing a good night on the town won’t cure. Shall I expect you around six, then?” he said, smirking in the knowledge that there was no way I could refuse to play with them without feeling awful about how much it would hurt Xander. I said nothing, and Spike turned and walked to the door.

“Spike,” I called, still staring decidedly at the wall, knowing that if I turned to look at him I’d lose all my nerve.

“Hm?” he called casually, and I heard him lean against the door instead of walking through it.

“Did you kill my pack to get to me?” I asked, and I could feel the gaze of those eyes drilling into my back.

“Didn’t the whelp tell you?” he replied casually. “It was pure chance I found you.”

“If we’re going to continue this façade of a relationship,” I growled, turning to face him, “you should at least be honest with me.”

We stared at each other once again, struggling with the power of our gazes, only this time I didn’t back down. After a minute, Spike smiled and turned away.

“You got me, pup,” he said, his voice cold and powerful, sinister yet sincere. “But I really didn’t have anything to do with your pack getting killed. Let’s say this, though: It wasn’t purely by chance that I found you.”

“You were following me? Why?”

“I’d always known Xander was going to need more than me around to keep him happy. Xan-pet’s a social being, and he deserved to have at least one friend around other than me ‘n the minions. So I started looking through all his old friends from Sunnyhell for one that might be good for him now. Only, that friend needed to have few ties to his old life, not be a complete asshole that would take advantage of pet, and would be able to handle Xander’s particular… condition. I came up with about five that would fit without that last stipulation, but you were the only one that fit all three categories. So I hunkered down and waited.”

“If you were watching me all along, why did it take you so long to buy me? I was in that place at least a week and, I have to tell you, the service left much to be desired.”

“Eh… well…” he said, the question throwing him off. I almost thought I saw a blush rise to his cheeks, but I was pretty certain that wasn’t possible for a vamp. “You see, it was an awfully long time between when I decided I wanted you and when you were in a place I could nab ya. To be honest, things got a little hectic and I forgot all about you. Yer lucky Xan was whining about the minions the other day, or you’d still be in the pound, whelp.”

I took a moment to digest this. I had been all set to believe that Spike might be the one that had caused all the bad things in my life recently to happen. I was ready and more than willing to blame him for the death of my pack and even the death of my band. Wouldn’t it be convenient, for it all to be someone else’s fault? Wouldn’t it be grand if I could finally stop feeling like the world was full of monsters? After all, Spike might be powerful, but there was only one of him. A world with a villain is so much less frightening than a world where bad things just happened for no reason. Or worse, where the bad things were my fault.

“Now, here’s a little truth for you, pup,” he continued, taking my cheek in his cold hand and forcing me to look up into his face. “The more you suppress the wolf, the stronger it gets when it breaks loose. That’s why some werewolves go insane at the full moon, and some just have a party. That’s why your wolf was so willing to join up with that band of mutts. It got so few chances to get out, that it would do anything to keep you from waking up. If you don’t know your demon, you can’t control your demon. Think about it,” he said, stroking my cheek with his thumb. I felt the breath catch in my chest at this small, gentle act and stared into those icy, powerful eyes.

Then he released me and left. I sat down heavily on the bed, feeling dizzy and overwhelmed. I sighed and flopped back onto the bed, staring blindly at the ceiling.

“Deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole,” I said, then turned over and tried to sleep.

 


	14. The Downside of Indoor Plumbing

When I woke, it was evening. The sun was nearing the horizon, casting shadows out through the forest. I got up and stretched, feeling restless. I contemplated sulking in my room for the rest of the evening, but staying in the room for the rest of the evening seemed like such a lousy option that I decided against it. Instead, I cautiously opened the door and stepped into the hall.

There was a minion in the hall who came to attention when I left the room. He was large, despite the fact that most guys seemed large to me, and had broad shoulders, heavily muscled arms, and a short, thick neck. His eyes contained a glazed look that I used to label him as a minion, but honestly might have been the same intelligence level he’d had as a human.

“Um… hey. I was looking for a pair of guys, maybe you’ve seen them? One’s about yay high, dark hair, hyena spots, and brown eyes. The other’s a blue-eyed devil who likes raping werewolves. Any idea where they might be?” I asked. The minion simply stared at me uncomprehendingly.

“I am to lead you to the stables if you awake before sunset, and to the main hall if you awake after. Master Spike and Master Xander await your presence,” he replied robotically.

“Well… it’s slightly before sunset. Should we go to the stables?” I asked. The minion grunted, then turned without warning and began marching away. I paused, confused as to whether I was supposed to follow or wait, then shrugged and fell into step behind him.

The stable was attached to the main castle through a small, enclosed tunnel. It probably made it easier for stable hands to take care of the animals in the winter. I could only assume it made the castle a lot more marketable to the demonic populace as well.

There were three horses in the main arena of the stable, two of which were tried near the gate and the third of which was patiently standing while Xander tried not to land on his face during the dismount.

Not that I could blame him for the awkwardness. The horse he was trying to ride, like the other two in the arena, was a massive animal. Despite the face that Xander was a tall man, the horse’s shoulder matched perfectly with his, and the top of its neck was several inches above his head. Without much trouble, the horse could probably have stepped on my head. Not to mention, all three of the animals were a perfect back color, and their eyes appeared to glow in the dim light.

            Xander’s foot got stuck in the stirrup and he fell onto his back. The horse snorted and tossed its head, but remained still as Spike pulled Xander to his feet.

            “I’m so damn lousy at this,” I head Xander gripe as I approached.

            “They say the student is only as good as the teacher,” I offered, leaning against the fence.

            “I’ll have you know I’m an excellent tutor,” Spike replied, sticking his nose in the air in mock-haughtiness. “Somebody here’s just skittish, and I’m not talkin’ ‘bout the pony.”

            “Look at this thing!” Xander replied, a slight blush stealing to his cheeks. “It looks like it could eat me!”

            “Nah,” Spike replied, smiling and stroking the horse’s neck. “These are the calmest little mares I’ve ever seen. You’re lucky I told Alton that you’d never ridden, or we’d have some really wicked horses for you to try.”

            “If these are what you call tame mares, I would hate to see what you think is a wicked horse,” I told him, carefully staying outside of the fence. “What kind of horse is this anyway? Their eyes… are they glowing?”

            “Night vision,” Spike said, turning the horse’s head so that I could see the shimmering violet eye more clearly. “Horses don’t have great night vision and riding in the daytime is useless to a vamp. These are crossbreeds between the Scottish Kelpie and a regular horse. Not as durable as the Kelpie, unfortunately, but all those ruddy scales are gone and your ass won’t stick to it either.”

            “What the hell is a Kelpie?” Xander wondered, giving Spike a skeptical look.

            “Kelpie. It’s a demonic water-horse that lives in the Scottish oceans. Damn powerful things, but covered from head to hoof in scales that secrete the most disgusting, sticky goo you’ve ever seen. Oh, they’re fine then they’re wet with the salt water, but stick ‘em on dry land and you could patch a tire with that goop. People used to try to ride Kelpies all the time, only to get stuck and drown when the Kelpie went back to the sea.”

            “That is such bull,” Xander said, rolling his eyes.

            “Hey, would I lie to you?” Spike replied.

            “Actually, I think he’s telling the truth,” I said.

            “See? And you know the wolf would rather eat his tongue than agree with me, so you know it’s the god-honest truth,” he said, advancing until he was nose to nose with Xander, smirking all the while. “Now, I think I’m owed something.”

            “For what?” Xander snapped.

            “For the mental trauma of knowing you doubt my honor and integrity.”

            “You’re a Master Vampire. Doesn’t that make your integrity suspect by default?” Xander asked, smirking cheekily in response and turning away.

            “Ah ah!” Spike said, turning Xander back and pulling him tight against his chest. Spike had to look up slightly since Xander had a couple inches on him in height, but you’d never realize from looking at them that Spike is actually smaller than Xander. Spike seemed to take up extra room with his body, like his personality was a tangible thing, while Xander almost seemed to shrink to give the vampire room. Regardless, as the two wills fought a play-battle once again, it was easy to see that Spike would almost always win, and that Xander would be perfectly happy to lose. “I think a kiss would suffice,” Spike continued, pulling Xander’s head down until their lips met and Spike proceeded to plunder Xander’s mouth, stealing any shred of decency that might have once resided there.

            When they finally parted, Xander was panting and I was contemplating running back up to my room. Only the knowledge that I would be trapped there kept me from bolting, but I was starting to get concerned about my own reactions to their intimacy. If I was this scared when they focused on each other, what the hell was I going to do if they started hitting on me?

            “Deep in thought, wolfling?” I heard Spike ask, and turned to find them both staring at me.

            “We didn’t mean to upset you,” Xander said apologetically, and I realized that they could both smell the fear that must have come off of me. I shook myself, trying to put my thoughts away.

            “It’ll take more than some heavy licking to scandalize me,” I replied, giving Xander a smile that he soon returned.

            “Oh, I’m sure we could oblige if you really… Oof!” Spike protested as Xander elbowed him sharply in the ribs.

            “Aren’t you supposed to be putting the horses away?” Xander asked sharply.

“Ch. Fine. Abuse the vampire. Some thanks I get, ya stupid wanker,” Spike grumbled as he turned to Xander’s horse.

“Love you, too, sweetie,” Xander teased. Spike sneered at him in response and made a show of leaping gracefully onto Xander’s horse and trotting it elegantly into the stall.

“He cheats,” Xander mumbled, glaring as Spike led the other two horses into the stall.

After that, though, things simmered down a bit as Spike led us down to the main hall, where the minions had assembled a fairly respectable set of instruments, all powered by a small generator. It was very odd, to be playing an electric guitar by candlelight. Xander set himself up on the drums and turned out to be a fairly respectable drum player. He struggled a bit in the beginning, but he settled down about halfway through the second song and managed respectably through the rest of the evening. With a little more practice, he’d probably be polished enough to think about it as a serious hobby, possibly a career.

Spike, on the other hand, was unfortunately brilliant. I say unfortunate because nothing would have pleased me more than to have something that Spike was awful at so that he didn’t seem so damn perfect. His confidence was bad enough, but knowing that he acted confident because he was good made it even worse. However, regardless of my hopes for his playing, even I had to recognize that Spike was an amazing guitar player and an even better vocalist. I suppose, with a hundred years of practice anyone could get pretty good at music, but it still somewhat awed me as a musician to see how easily he handled his guitar and how fluently he followed and even improved on the music.

            Spike called a halt to our playing in the wee hours of the morning. Xander and I had both started sweating from the excitement of playing, and Spike sent us off to get showers while he put away the instruments. I was a little nervous to be alone around Xander, but I was equally glad not to have Spike anywhere near my naked body.

            Xander led me back to the master bedroom. I followed, despite some residual nervousness about it. I knew the castle didn’t have running water, and when I’d needed to use the bathroom earlier I’d had to go down into the kitchen were a very rustic toilet and sink were set up. Since I hadn’t seen a shower down with the toilet, I wasn’t terribly surprised when Xander led me back to the Jacuzzi in the room off of the Master suite. Terrified, but not surprised.

            “How did you rig that thing up, anyway?” I asked as I stared at the large, bubbling tub. I could see the generator on the floor, which would account for the bubbles, but there wasn’t any kind of piping to put the water in or out. Candles lit the room, so I had to guess this wasn’t one of the more sophisticated castles. “It’s not really standard issue, is it?”

            “In this place? I’ll guess, then, that you haven’t been to the bathroom yet. No, when Spike heard we were staying at a castle he sent this over from the mainland and had the minions rig it up. A hot bath really calms me down after… an episode. He has the minions fill it by hand every time we use it.”

            “That’s a lot of expense for a bathtub,” I replied mildly, not as surprised as I should have been about Spike’s giving nature.

            “Spike always gets me what I need,’ Xander said, staring a little too intently at the bath, then turning his eyes on me. “No matter what it costs him.”

            It took me a moment to realize that we weren’t talking about monetary cost, nor were we talking about the bath any longer. Instead, and I realized this almost painfully suddenly, we were talking about me, and what it had cost Spike in pride to admit that he wasn’t enough for Xander and in time that Xander would now have to split between us. It wasn’t pleasant feeling to suddenly have to consider that Spike might not be the villain in this story at all. 

            “So…” I asked uncertainly, trying to change the topic. “Who goes first?”

            “Eh?”

            “You know, who bathes first while the other one waits in the bedroom, completely clothed?”

            “Oh. Umm… We don’t really have time for that. Spike will get pissy if you start acting all nervous.”

            “Well, then we have nothing to fear. I’m not acting at all,” I responded, hearing the slight tremor in my voice at the end. Xander sighed. 

“I know you’re still upset. I don’t blame you. I just… everything’s gone really wrong lately, but I think if you stick around you’ll find out that it’s not so bad. I know you don’t have any reason to trust me, but I’m asking you to anyway.”

“Look,” I said, hating that hangdog expression on his face. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that you’re demon is kind of… unstable.”

“It isn’t the demon,” he replied, his expression turning sad as he looked away. “The demon just reacts to my panic. If you want to blame anyone for the episode last night, you’ve got to blame me. But… I’m not… I mean… You’ll be fine, alright? I’m feeling pretty… stable right now. Everything’s… right, you know?” he said, and I nodded just to make him stop looking so sad. It worked, and he smiled, and I smiled back at him.

Until, of course, he started pulling his clothes off, at which point I completely forgot how to breathe. He was gorgeous, no doubt, with well-defined muscles, gorgeous golden skin, and a fluid, animalistic grace. I couldn’t enjoy the view, though, because my mind had decided for certain that naked equals pain, and was too busy panicking to see how unthreatening Xander looked.

“Oz? Shit, man, breathe!” Xander yelled, pounding me on the back. I gasped, and choked, feeling dizzy as the air rushed back into my lungs. I sat down heavily and Xander knelt beside me, his shirt in his hand and his pants still unbuckled.

“Is it… Is it really that bad?” he asked, when my breathing had finally evened out.

“No, you just… surprised me,” I told him. “I should be okay now, I just… I don’t know how we’re going to do this,” I admitted. It was going to be really hard to take a bath together if I panicked every time I saw Xander naked. Xander was quiet for a moment, thinking, then stood.

“Look, here’s what we’re going to do,” he said. “I’m going to take off the rest of my clothes and hop in the tub. You undress and get in whenever you’re ready.”

“That won’t be any time this month,” replied, causing him to quirk a grin.

            “Alright, you get undressed and get in whenever you’re ready, remembering that if Spike comes up and you’re not undressed, he will help you with it,” he said, then walked to the bath, removed the rest of his clothes, and got in.

            It took a very long time for me to convince myself to get up off the floor, take my clothes off, and slide into the bath beside Xander. I did finally manage to do it, but possibly only because Xander was so relaxed that he seemed to be asleep. When I finally managed to get in and settle down, Xander opened one eye and looked at me.

            “That wasn’t so hard, was it?” he asked, and I had to admit that it hadn’t been.

            “You just startled me earlier,” I told him.

            “Sorry. I’ll try not to be so frightening in the future,” he teased.

            “At least it’s not as bad as high school.”

            “I was scary in high school?”

            “With those Hawaiian shirts? I was terrified. I though you’re fashion sense might be infectious.”

            “Ha ha,” he replied sourly. “Everybody picks on the Hawaiian shirts. I happen to like color.”

            “Those damn shirts,” said a distinctly British voice from the door, “looked like a Glarsh demon threw up.”

            “What’s a Glarsh demon?” Xander asked, ignoring me as I flinched and sank deeper into the water.

            “Big, reptile-looking thing. Feeds exclusively on clowns.”

            “Oh, now that’s total bullshit!” Xander said, shaking his head and laughing.

            “Maybe,” he replied with a smirk, leaning over the bath (and me) to give Xander a quick kiss, “but they were still bloody awful. Good thing I pick out most of your clothes now.”

            “Ha!” Xander said, rolling his eyes. “You’re no better! You remember those first leather outfits you put me in to show me at court? Now that was awful fashion!”

            “Don’t play coy with me,” Spike said as their play-battle continued, literally, over my head. “You loved those outfits, and all the looks they got you. That’s the real reason I put ‘em away- got tired of beatin’ wankers off ya with a stick. All those arseholes pantin’ over what’s mine. Like they could even handle you.”

            “You know, since you can barely handle me.”

            “Oi! You keep it up ‘n I’ll give ya a bit of handlin’ right now!”

            “Guys!” I snapped, and they both turned to stare down at me. I guess I must have been a sight, I’d sank into the water up to my ears as their argument had heated up. In another minute, I probably would have been drowning. “Could we resume this discussion later?” I asked, and Spike chuckled and, thankfully, stepped back.

            “Alright, pup, get cleaned up. I’ll be waiting for you two in the other room. Just don’t be long, or I might feel the urge to come in,” he said, then turned and walked out. I closed my eyes in relief. When I opened them, Xander was staring at me with a half smile on his face.

            “What?” I wondered, and he smiled openly.

            “You’re really going to have to get over this fear of Spike. It just provokes him.”

            “Sorry. I guess I’m just paranoid about the evil vampires who rape me.”

            “I don’t… I didn’t mean you don’t have a reason to be afraid of him, I just… Bleh! Look, he’s really not so bad once you get to know him.”

            “That’s what they say about axe murderers and pit bulls.”

            “Well… Spike’s a little bit of both.”

            “I heard that, y’ wanker!” Spike called from the other room. “I’m getting’ a might dry out here. Fancy myself a dip, shall I?” Spike threatened from the other room. Xander just laughed.

            “Come on, we’d better get out before he decides to try a cannonball,” Xander said, standing and reaching for a towel. He patted himself dry quickly, wrapped the towel around his waist, and handed another towel to me. I took it hesitantly and climbed out.

            Which is when I realized that my clothes were no longer on the floor where I’d left them. Feeling my heart constrict, I glanced up and met Xander’s nervous eyes.

            “The minions must have taken them to be washed,” he told me, but neither of us believed it. Especially since Xander’s clothes were still lying in a heap on the floor.

            I wrapped the towel more securely around my waist and followed Xander into the bedroom, only half feeling like a wuss for hiding behind him.

            Spike was sprawled out languidly across the bed, his back resting against the headboard. His shirt and shoes were gone, and he looked like a living sculpture in nothing but faded blue jeans and alabaster skin. The soft light of the candles in the room even made his skin shimmer like marble. I saw him smile as we entered, and he raised his hand. I noticed that he was holding the jar of cream he’d been smearing on my rear the last few days, and my heart leapt to my throat.

            “C’mere, pup,” he said, patting the bed beside him.

            “Fuck off!” I hissed anxiously, while making sure Xander was between us in case he got mad.

            “Last dose,” he said, jiggling the container.

            “I feel fine,” I hedged, even though my ass was still a little sore. I was pretty sure, however, that whatever he had planned would make my ass feel worse instead of better.

            “Better safe than sorry.”

            “I feel a hell of a lot safer without you touching my ass,” I told him, and I saw the grin turn viscous.

            “Too bad,” he snapped, then lunged toward me, dodged Xander’s half-hearted attempt to intercede, and dragged me down to the bed.

            I found myself pinned on my back under Spike’s weight, my towel gone and my legs forced open on either side of his. I slammed my eyes shut and held my breath, waiting for the assault.

            But… there really wasn’t one. Spike held me down with one hand and used the other to scoop out a bit of the cream on his finger. He reached underneath him and between my legs, finding my hole by touch alone. His finger was gentle as it slowly spread the medicine onto my skin.

“Alright, now get the fuck off me!” I snarled, but Spike just smiled and slowly pressed one finger inside of me. I felt my stomach drop and choked on a scream, slamming my eyes shut again. I whimpered as it continued, more from fear than pain because it actually didn’t hurt all that much. Regardless, the whimper must have convinced Xander to take my side, because he started yelling at Spike.

“Spike, you can’t just do this shit!” Xander snapped angrily, but Spike (and his finger) remained unmoved.

“Obviously, I can,” Spike replied nonchalantly and began giving tiny thrusts with his finger. I whimpered, loudly, again. Pride be damned, I was getting his finger out of my ass!

“Get the hell off him!” Xander snarled.

“Look, I’m not hurtin’ the pup, he’s just bein’ a wuss,” Spike snapped back, continuing his movements. I let out a loud, pathetic whine and hoped Xander would believe me.

It was, apparently, the wrong thing to do. Spike snarled and grabbed me by the hair with one hand while still keeping the other inside of me. He yanked my face up to look at him, and I was so surprised that I opened my eyes, only to find myself staring into two very pissed-off yellow ones.

“Look, whelp,” he snarled. “You’ve got two options here. Either you can let me have a little fun while Xander’s here to make sure I don’t go too far, or you can wait until later when I find you alone and do whatever the hell I want.”

In the background, I heard Xander snarl something at Spike, but we both knew he would have very little influence on this fight.

            “You’re bluffing,” I replied more confidently than I felt. He wouldn’t… He wouldn’t really hurt me, would he? I mean, he was evil, but he had a soul now, right?

            “Maybe,” he replied, grinning sadistically, “but are you willing to take that chance?” he asked, and I had to admit that I wasn’t sure.

            “W-what are you going to do?” I asked, and tried not to feel like a complete wimp for the stutter.

            “A little touching,” he whispered, moving his face next to mine. He licked the shell of my ear and I shivered. “A little licking. Maybe even a little biting, if you’re good.

            “N-nothing inside,” I stipulated warily. He curled his finger and I gasped from the shock of the sensation.

            “Nothing bigger than this,” he assured me.

            I took a deep, shaky breath and nodded.

 

 


	15. Vampire Loving

That was all the encouragement it took Spike. He turned me to the side, and I can’t explain how much better it felt to have my legs closed or how much less exposed I felt on my side, even though Spike’s finger was still inside me. Spike curled up behind me, his finger still gently thrusting into me, and reached around to fondle my dick. I hadn’t found any pleasure in being scared out of my wits, but I was calmer now that we’d come to an agreement, and Spike’s hands were skilled enough that it wasn’t long before my dick took an interest in what his hands were doing. Once Spike was sure I was interested, his finger rammed deeper and found my prostrate, rubbing it in such a manner that I started to gasp and buck my hips into his hand.

            Xander, on the other hand, was not so pleased. Pacing back and forth along the few feet at the edge of the bed, he seemed about ready to have some kind of fit. It was like he was in a cage with bars all along the edge of the bed, and he was trying desperately to find a way to get at us. He would reach out, as though he was about to intervene, only to pull back and snarl at Spike, and then began pacing again as he was inevitably ignored. Even as my eyes slipped closed and I started to enjoy what Spike was doing, I could hear Xander repeating the motions. After about the sixth time it happened, though, Spike’s patience ran out.

            “Fucking hell, Xander!” Spike snarled loud enough to make me flinch. “Are you going to keep bitching all night, or are you gonna get up here and make this slightly less unpleasant for the wolf?” Spike snapped, his finger still inside of me even as his other hand played with my balls.

            I opened my eyes to see Xander kneeling next to the bed, looking like he’d rather bolt from the room than come any closer. At first he avoided my eyes, but when Spike wiggled his finger and made me gasp, he glanced up and caught my gaze. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so upset, caught between being pleased about having me here, angry about what was being forced upon me, and afraid that I’d be hurt. I’d known all along that Xander wanted this from me just as Spike did, but I hadn’t realized how torn he was about asking for it. Without thinking, I reached out my hand for him.

            But Xander must have taken it as an act of desperation, because he flinched and tears sprang to his eyes. He took my hand and slid onto the bed, laying beside me and pressing his forehead against mine.

            “I’m so sorry,” he whispered hoarsely. “I wouldn’t… I didn’t know he’d…”

            “It’s okay,” I whispered, partially because I hated to see him miserable and partially because, other than it being Spike with his fingers in my ass, it wasn’t all that bad. “I’m alright,” I assured him at his skeptical look.

            “See?” Spike said. “Told you ‘e was fine. Now why don’t you ‘elp out a bit instead ‘a bein’ a nuisance, eh? Go on, I know yer dyin’ for it,” Spike said, and used that damn vampiric strength of his to put me on my knees, straddling Xander in a 69 position. Xander didn’t need any more encouragement than that, and reached up immediately to grasp my erection and bring it to his mouth. I yelped as the sudden heat enveloped me, bucking my hips in a way that would have choked a normal person. Xander simply swallowed me whole, using one hand on my hip to steady me and the other to massage my testicles. Spike had removed his finger from me as he lifted me and now replaced it with two. It was on the tip of my tongue to complain, but as Spike began to mercilessly prod my prostrate with every swift, sure stroke of his fingers, I thought better of it.

            My orgasm approached quickly with the dual assault, and I began to buck my hips frantically into Xander’s mouth. Had I been thinking clearly, I would have worried about hurting him, but the sensations they were both giving me had made me forget everything except my need to orgasm, and nothing was going to stop me from reaching my climax.

            Or so I thought.

            Just as I could feel the surge of heat building in my groin and saw the edges of my vision go white with pleasure, Spike reached around and grabbed the base of my cock in a firm, tight grip, both stopping my orgasm and stilling my hips. I whined frantically, panting and bucking as much as I could even in his grip. Xander let me slip from his mouth and began to nuzzle my thigh.

            “Damn you Spike!”

            “Tsk tsk. That’s no way to get yer rocks off, pet,” Spike teased from behind me, leaning forward. “Gotta be nice to the bloke that’s givin’ you an orgasm, eh?”

            “You’re not giving me an orgasm! That’s the problem!” I snarled, feeling the heat build to a painful intensity.

            “I thought you wanted to stop. Wasn’t that what you were all about earlier?”

            “God, Spike, I wanted to stop then, not now!” I cried, barely holding my control.

            “Well, a guy can get confused, can’t he? So, I think you’d better tell me what you want, pet, or you can just go without tonight,” he said, and I could not believe that he was threatening my orgasm. That was just… That was inhumane! You couldn’t take a guy that close to the edge and then deny him the jump! It was sick.

            “What the fuck do you want me to tell you?” I snarled. Spike grinned.

            “Tell me you want it,” he said fiercely, and I could tell from his tone that he wouldn’t take pity on me.

            “I… I want it,” I whispered, turning away in embarrassment as a blush stole across my face.

            “Tell me you want my fingers fucking you in the ass. Tell me you want Xander to suck you until you squirt like a fountain.”

            “I w-want it.”

            “Tell me you liked letting the wolf get fucked. Tell me you like getting brutal with somebody who can take it,” he said, and jabbed my prostrate for emphasis.

            “I did! I do!” I yelped, close to tears and was surprised more than anyone to realize it was true.

            “Tell me you want us again. Tell me you want us right fucking now!”

            “Goddamnit, Spike! Just fuck me already!” I shouted.

            Everything froze as I realized what I had just said, what I had just given him permission to do. I looked to Spike, feeling my heart thudding in my chest, but he only grinned wider.

            “Maybe some other time, wolfling.”

            Then he pushed me onto my back and pushed my legs apart, taking my member into his mouth and shoving his fingers deep inside of me, which instantly sought and found my prostrate. Spike, with his vampiric ability to not breathe, swallowed me whole and, instead of bobbing his head like a human would do, just began a strong suction did not waver even as he randomly constricted his throat to massage me. I gasped, the dual assault combining with my delayed orgasm, and screamed as I orgasmed. Then I blacked out entirely.

When I came to, I found that someone had placed me on my side at the edge of the bed. Xander and Spike were in front of me, completely naked. Spike was sitting tall on his knees, his hands on Xander’s hips. Xander, meanwhile, was on his hands and knees in front of Spike, bucking back against Spike’s hips at a frantic pace. I could see Spike reaching under Xander to rub Xander’s weeping erection, and the touches only seemed to make Xander more frantic. After a minute, Spike pressed Xander to rest his cheek against the bed, and then began to thrust powerfully into Xander’s body as Xander fondled himself. Xander yowled with completion, spurting thick jets of white cum into his hands as Spike grunted and slammed home, biting Xander’s neck as he spasmed with his own completion.

It was… hot. I had expected their coupling to be brutal and frightening, like it had been the other night. Instead, it was just wild and intense. Spike was dominating Xander, but it was obvious that Xander wanted to submit, and that Spike wasn’t taking more than Xander wanted to give. It was… not as frightening as I had imagined, especially now that I knew how talented Spike could be as a lover.

Not that I liked the guy. Just… you know. You’ve gotta respect that kind of skill.

After a minute of heavy breathing (from Xander), Spike got up and padded into the bathroom. Xander rolled over to me in his absence, and I was too sated to freak when he curled up against me, even though we were both naked. Spike returned a minute later with a wet towel and climbed onto the bed next to us.

“Oi! Can’t leave you two alone for a minute, can I?” he teased.

“Nope,” Xander quipped, resting his cheek on my shoulder.

“Lazy git,” Spike said affectionately. “Open your legs or you’ll be sticky in the morning,” he ordered. Xander just sighed and rolled onto his belly, opening his legs so that Spike could run the towel between them and remove the evidence of their coupling. Once finished, he turned to me.

“Gotta make sure the rough stuff didn’t hurt you again, pup,” Spike said, his face calm with no evidence of the grin that always terrified me. I huffed, but rolled onto my stomach. I mean, he’d just screwed Xander into the mattress. I highly doubted he had anything left for me. Besides, after what he’d just done, it seemed a little late to be coy.  

            “What the hell is your perverted fascination with my ass?” I asked him grumpily.

            “It’s one of your best features,” he quipped, but we both knew the banter was dead when he pushed my legs apart. I hid my face in my arms as Spike quickly checked over an area that I would have preferred no one look at.

            “You’re fine,” Spike said, giving me a quick pat on the rump as he finished. “Nothin’ damaged, but y’know how it is. Better-…”

            “If you say, ‘Better safe than sorry,’ so help me I will make you eat this pillow,” I growled, glaring at him over my shoulder. “That is the last time I ever let you play doctor with me!”

            “Come on now, pet,” Spike soothed, smiling in a way that was far less threatening than earlier. “Didn’t I make ya feel a hell of a lot better?” he asked, sliding up to lay between me and Xander.

            “All except my pride,” I groused, turning my back to him. He chuckled.

            “Your pride’s prob’ly the one part of you I wouldn’t mind bein’ rid of. Y’ got no use for it ‘ere,” he told me, then snagged a quilt from the bottom of the bed, blew out the candles on the nightstand, and curled up to sleep.

            I thought about getting up and going back to my room, but, honestly, what was the use? We’d already done most of what I’d wanted to avoid that night, and I was comfortable where I was. Besides… I really just didn’t feel like being alone. So, I sucked up my pride and huddled down beside Spike, who accidentally (I’m sure) put his arm over my shoulders. I huffed, keeping a good inch of space between us, and was just settling down when I felt movement from the other side of the bed, and a moment later Xander was shoving in beside me and pushing me (again, accidentally, I’m sure) into Spike’s chest. I shot a sleepy glare at Xander, who smiled innocently.

            “It was cold over there,” he said, shrugging. “Spike isn’t warm like you.”

            “Prick,” I called him, but I was too sleepy for it to have any real anger in it.

            “Probably,” he agreed with a yawn, curling against my front as Spike curled around my back. I sighed the sigh of the long-suffering, and let them envelop me with wriggling warmth on one side and calm coolness on the other.

            It was the strangest thing in the world. The master vampire on one side, his hyena mate on the other, and their werewolf prisoner in the middle. But… somehow, it worked.

            I didn’t wake until let the next evening, which isn’t surprising considering that we’d gone to sleep only slightly before dawn. I noticed, somewhat unsurprised, that I had managed to fall into the semi-vampiric schedule of living fairly easily. We bedded down a bit early for a vamp and rose a bit before the sun went down, but otherwise we hid from the sun. Of course, hyenas were nocturnal, so that kind of schedule would have been normal for the newly-demonic Xander, and I found that the wolf in me was far more comfortable in the fading light as well.

            I awoke to find that Xander had migrated to the middle during the night, and was now laying with his legs sprawled on top of me and his upper body laying across Spike. Spike, who was awake already, seemed completely unperturbed by Xander’s position, and I could only assume that this was a routine occurrence. Xander’s head was on Spike’s shoulder, and Spike was gently running his fingers through Xander’s hair. I noticed that one of Xander’s arms was firmly around Spike’s neck, and that the other was reaching toward me, with his hand grasping my bicep, like he was desperately trying to keep two of us with him. I wondered if it was a phobia, or a premonition.

            Xander didn’t sleep for too much longer, and when he woke we all headed down for another hardy breakfast (to put some meat on my bones, according to Spike) and another equestrian lesson (which I watched, but refused to get anywhere near). We spent our morning (technically evening) in the kind of ease that nobility must have lived in when the castle was new. Hell, maybe Spike was just reliving his past, for all I knew.

            After lunch, though, the routine changed, and Spike had Xander and I wait in the main hall while he rode out to meet some guests.

            “Liline and Alton are really cool, especially for vampires,” Xander assured me as we lounged on the couches in front of the fire. “Liline is really… I don’t know… really regal, I guess. I mean, she’s totally hot, but there’s something else there too, you know?”

            “You mean screwing guys has finally let you notice things about girls other than their breasts?” I teased. Xander blushed and stuck his tongue out at me.

            “You’ll see what I mean when she gets here,” he said dismissively. “Alton is really cool though. He’s really fun and really brave, and he’s always got a really positive attitude even though he isn’t very good at fighting yet. He’s…”

            “…a lot like you?” I asked, hearing the reminiscence in his voice. It took him a moment to answer.

            “A lot like I used to be, I think. You know, before I got so twisted. He’s so pure, though, and so excited for life. He and Liline both have their souls, you know. Liline got hers from a cursed ruin centuries ago, and made sure to keep Alton’s when she turned him. You’d be surprised how many souled vamps there are out there nowadays.”

            “Are they the ones that own the castle?” I wondered, and saw Xander nod.

            “Yeah, this whole area is Liline’s territory. Her clan, the Lunalius, is almost as old as Spike’s, and I think she’s actually got a couple of centuries on Angel. She’s a powerful Master Vampire, keeps all the night crawlers in her area under strict control and minimizes the killing of humans.”

            “Minimizes? How minimal are we talking? Like, kill one a year minimal? Or don’t kill all of them minimal?”

            “Her minions get mainly pig’s blood, and her fledges get very little human blood. The blood they do get comes from violent criminals and blood banks. She doesn’t allow vampires in her territory to make others, and only keeps the smallest amount needed to protect her ground. But… yeah… they have to eat.”

            “That doesn’t bother you?” I asked, wondering what had happened to the idealistic white knight. Xander just smiled sadly.

            “I can’t take on the world any more, Oz. I don’t want to fight the whole world. I know there’s black and white out there, but I’ve been part of the shades of gray, and I’m just too tired to figure it out anymore. I know who’s evil enough to kill, and any more I just leave it at that.”

            I took Xander’s words in for a moment and wondered at how much he’d grown.

            “How did you meet them?” I wondered after a moment of silence had passed.

            “Now that’s a story,” Xander said, smiling as he rose and came over to plop down beside me on my couch. “Alton was kidnapped by a coven of dark witches who wanted Liline to turn over an area of power in her territory so they could perform their dark magic. They took Alton stateside and tried to hide him among all the other spooks that hovered around Sunnydale. When Liline found out, she contacted Spike to get his permission to pursue them into his territory. You know, respect between Master vamps or something. Anyway, Spike was flaming pissed that the kidnappers would try to hide out right under his nose, so he took me and Jase to find them.” At this point, Xander started getting really animated, waving his hands excitedly for emphasis. “Jase managed to rip through their spells, and me ‘n Spike just annihilated the foot soldiers. Then Spike got into this huge swordfight with the main bad guy! I’m telling you, it looked totally medieval with all flashing blades and they made sounds like swing and twong and it was totally awesome!”

            “Xander, please don’t hit me.”

            “What? Why would I… Oh,” he said, staring at his hands, which were only inches from my face. “Sorry, I guess I get a little excited.”

            “I can see.”

            “I just… It’s so cool, you know? I’m finally doing all the heroic stuff that I couldn’t do as a kid. I never had superpowers like you guys and I was always just getting in the way. I’m finally… useful.”

            “You were always useful. Way more useful than the half-crazed werewolf, anyway. But what happened in the battle?”

            “Huh? Oh. Umm… Spike chopped the leader’s head off, and the rest just scattered. We grabbed Alton and high-tailed it back to the lair just as Liline showed up, ready to kick some ass.”

            “I guess she was a little disappointed then, huh?”

            “Nope. The ass she was ready to kick was Alton’s. Apparently, she’d given him a necklace to wear so that she could find him in just such an emergency, and the only reason he’d been captured is because he’d taken it off. Man, did she ream him a good one. Once she was done, though, she thanked Spike and offered us an all-expenses-paid vacation in her territory. Spike and I had just finished clearing out a nest of giant cockroach demons under the city, so we decided to take her up on the offer.”

            “So how much longer will you be here?”

            “A few more days. Four, I think, but you’d have to ask Spike. I don’t remember if we were catching the red-eye on Friday or Saturday. Hell, I’m not even sure what day it is.”

            “Don’t ask me. I’m not even sure what month it is.”

            “We make some pair, huh?”

            “The neurotic hyena and a sex-slave werewolf? What’s so strange about that?” Oz deadpanned.

            “Don’t forget the pervy blonde vamp!”

            “Oi! Don’t call me a pervert!” Spike snapped, causing Xander to fall off the couch in surprise.

            “Jeeze! You’re gonna give me a heart attack one day, you know that? Make some noise when you move, damnit!”

            “And here I thought you’d want to know that Liline and Alton are here.”

            “Where?” Xander asked, jumping up and almost plowing Spike over in his excitement.

            “They’re in the entrance hall. G’ on, help them with their bags and what not. Looks like they’ll be stayin’ the night, pet, so there’s no need to rush.”

            Despite this warning, Xander practically dashed out of the room. Spike chuckled, then plopped down beside me on the couch.

            “Y’ll never find a man that beats the whelp in enthusiasm, eh?”

            “Is that what we’re calling it? Not a constant sugar-high?”

            “Don’t give ‘im sugar. Not since… well, let’s not talk ‘bout that.”

            “Bad memories?”

            “Let’s just say… that particular demon ambassador will never be the same. Since then, though, I watch the boy’s sugar intake. I mean, Xan was never great with self-control around food, but the hyena sometimes puts ‘im into gorge mode ‘n it’s nearly impossible to convince ‘im to stop.”

            I nodded, understanding all too well the all consuming, animalistic drive to feed.

            “So, how ‘bout we go introduce you to our guests? ‘S been a couple a minutes, Xan and Aalton are pro’bly tusslin’ already. Ye kin come meet Liline in the mean time.”

            “I’m game,” I said, realizing too late what poor choice of words I was using. Spike just grinned.

            “Not today yer not, pet. Today, yer one a the predators,” he said, and led me down the hall to where the other vampires were waiting.

 


	16. Enter More Vampires

            Liline was the embodiment of the vampire seductress. Leaning against the wall, she sipped blood from a wineglass as she watched Xander and Alton doing a bit of good-natured sparring. Her lips were ruby red, even without the blood that now dripped from them. Her hair was long, rich, and black, hanging down to her waist in rivulets that curled at the ends into a tidal wave of shinning hair. Her entire appearance was naturally aggressive; her stance both casual and threatening at the same time. Her eyes captured all the attention, though. A sparkling blue color that stood out so distinctly from her hair that they nearly seemed to glow. At first glance they seemed only intensely radiant, but a second look revealed both intense focus and intelligence. She glanced me over once, making a cold feeling run up my spine as I realized that I was being immediately assessed and categorized. I hoped I came in under non-threat, at least. I must have been, because after the first glance she turned her attention back to the other two. I have no doubt that had I been labeled a threat, I would have been missing my eyes before I could manage to glance at Alton and Xander.

            Spike slid up beside Liline with the same supple vampire grace that she possessed, drawing me with him by a hand lightly placed on my wrist, cold as steel and just as strong. Liline acknowledged us with a nod and introductions were exchanged, but neither of their attentions ever left the scuffling pair. I was offered a glass of blood, which I hastily declined. While the vampires spoke of horrors to which I could not imagine – politics and paperwork – I let my gaze travel to the open floor of the hall, eventually settling on the other vampire.

            Alton was as little a vampire as Liline was one. With rich, golden hair and tan skin that seemed more likely to come from a mixed heritage than frequent acquaintance with the sun. Honestly, he looked more like a surfer than a vampire, except for the yellow eyes and fangs. His face was heart-shaped and hairless, making it difficult to place his human age. It seemed like he could be anywhere from eighteen to twenty-five, caught in perpetual youth without ever being able to reach adulthood. Still, it suited him, just as much as Xander’s new-found demonic energy suited him. I watched the two of them, bounding around the room in play-fight, looking- despite the vampire-face and demonic spots- like a pair of wrestling puppies.

            “Oi, Oz! Give a mate a hand, eh?”

            …Eh. When in Rome…

            I joined the other two easily, falling into the mix of their sporadic tussling. The two would jump together, bearing fangs and claws, take a few playful swipes, and then jump away. As I added myself to the mix, we began to leap at each other, throwing the others to the ground and fighting for the top of the pile.

            It was… fun, in a way that I’d never managed before. At first, I was extremely hesitant, and got thrown to the ground a lot. It was a little frightening, with the man I’d never met before making snaps at my neck, and Xander done up in spots and brown fur with teeth that looked like they could shred steal. Once I got used to the fact that they would stop short of really hurting me (which took a couple good tosses where either of them had me pinned in a position that could easily end in my death) I started to play back. And, once I started getting into it, I felt the wolf inside of me stir and rise to the surface, but instead of fighting it back down I let it play. I was shocked to find that it had no interest in harming its pals, and simply wanted to join the game. A sense of peace stole over me, and that frightened me a little because I had never felt the wolf so at peace, but I was having too much fun to get seriously worried. After all the panicking I’d been doing lately, I couldn’t pass up the chance to relax a little.

            There was only one time that I was really frightened enough to leave our play, and it wasn’t because Xander of Alton were getting too rough, although we did end up slamming each other around pretty well at the end. No, the only time I really got freaked out was when I glanced into a mirror and realized that my ears had become small, brown wolf ears, and that my teeth and eyes had also become more wolf-like. I glanced down to find that my nails had sharpened into claws, and I now sported a shaggy tail. Huh. You’d think a guy’d be aware of something like that. Go figure.

            But in the next moment Xander was on my back, and I had to twist under him so that I could land on my back and roll him when we landed. Our play continued on like that for what must have been hours, with Spike and Liline seated around a small, candlelit table, talking and casting amused glances our way.

            Our play ended when dinner was called, and by then we were all more than happy to stop for food. Spike led the way in, followed by Liline, and then the three of us followed behind them, Xander and Alton still talking excitedly while I just tried to get my breath back. Extra wolf strength or not, I hadn’t had a work out that good since I’d lived in Sunnydale and had to run for my life every week or so. We fell into lineup pretty easily, but I had a feeling that our order was more about respect than anything. Still, I was happy enough not to be alone at the end of the line.

            Everyone had actual food at dinner, which was a relief to me because I’d been having fears of a table filled with live animals for the drinking. I knew that the vampires’ glasses were filled with blood, but even my food was a little rarer than acceptable, so I wasn’t going to throw stones. There was a fairly constant stream of polite chatter through dinner, and although I was more reserved than usual, I found myself joining in on the discussions despite my own low level of constant fear. It wasn’t until Liline brought up some territorial issues that the conversation started to turn serious.

            “I’ve been having the devil’s own time trying to keep those blasted lone wolves off my land,” she said, sighing dramatically. “Not that I don’t like a good fight everyone once in a while, but these constant attempts of the feral werewolves to take over the packs under my protection is getting ridiculous. Not only is it cutting into my free time, but it’s got my wolf packs all in a tizzy.”

            “Ye can’t train ‘em to take care of themselves? Seems like it oughta be the alpha male that takes care of th’ ferals, not you.”

            “Three of the alphas are too old to take on a feral, and two of them are too young. Besides, they pay a good deal for the use of my land and my protection. I don’t mind driving off lone werewolves for them, I just wish there weren’t so many right now. Mating season and the full moon together never spell an easy month for me.”

            “That’s rough. Sure as hell has to suck for your sex life.”

            “You have no idea,” Liline groaned. “Just the other day I was complaining that I haven’t gotten oral in… Fuck!” Liline cursed. Apparently, Alton wasn’t big on sharing the details of his sex life with others, as the nearly scarlet hue to his neck, face, and ears would illustrate. As he retrieved his leg from her side of the table, Liline glared and rubbed her shin. “Anyway,” she huffed turning back to Spike, “there’s a lone wolf coming up this way tomorrow that I’ll have to handle. I thought I should let you know, since I wouldn’t want anyone to accidentally get into the fight.”

            “Now what kind of gentleman would I be if I let the lady of the house fight to the death with a ravenous beast? I’ll send Xander and Oz ta handle it.”

            “Gee, thanks hon. Love you too,” Xander growled in mock anger.

            “Don’t tell me yeh haven’t been itching for a fight. N ye kin take the pup with ya ta get ‘im some exercise.”

            “Are you sure Oz is up for this?

            “No, Oz is not up for this!” I answered immediately. I knew all about lone wolves. They were big, mean, dirty, vicious, and did I mention big?

            “Don’ worry, pup. We’ll take yeh out to do a little trainin’ tomorrow before we send you on. And Xander kin keep yeh out of trouble.”

            “Yeah, man, don’t worry. Werewolves might be big, but a fully transformed hyena is monstrous!” he said, grinning like a loon.

            “Don’t get too cocky, Xan,” Spike warned. “There’s something to be said about experience.”

            “You old guys always say that.”

            “Oi! I am not old! ‘M only 137, for crissake!”

            “Sounds pretty old to me,” Alton agreed. “I’m only 89. But how old did you say you were, hun?” he asked, and now it was Liline’s turn to blush and strike out under the table.

            “A lady never reveals her age,” she replied snippily, causing everyone at the table to laugh.

            Dinner progressed like this for another hour or so, until it was nearing midnight. Around then everyone headed back to their bedrooms to get ready for our big début at the Rusty Nail. I found that Spike had purchased an outfit for each of us, each including leather pants, a tight shirt and a leather jacket. I made some comment about looking like a punk band from the ‘80s, but even I had to admit that we looked good. Spike’s outfit was all black, with the tight black shirt outlining his abs perfectly. Xander’s outfit had dark brown pants and a stunning red shirt that emphasized his arms, while mine had more neutral brown pants and a navy shirt. Liline, I found as we headed to the limo, had opted for a slinky black dress that probably was expensive, but she made look even more so. Alton was in tattered jeans and a tight shirt that went well with his beach-boy look.

            We had to drive for nearly an hour to reach the bar, and at the speeds our driver went it should have taken three. The Rusty Nail was located in a small city and, despite the name, was fairly modern and completely devoid of rust. The name, apparently, came from a drink that the bar served made with whiskey, chili powder, and a cherry stem that looked, for all appearances, like a completely rusted nail in the bottom of the glass. Spike and Liline both braved the drink, and although both manage to put it down Liline immediately needed a glass of sherry to wash away the taste and Spike made a hasty retreat to the restroom after about five minutes. The bar was well-known for crazy drinks and concoctions, with Alton and Xander trying Blue Zingers and Xander and I putting away two Neon Nightlights, both drinks with high levels of alcohol, sugar, and caffeine. By the time we were ready to head up to the stage, Xander, Spike, and I were all feeling pretty hyped, with Liline and Alton already dancing erotically on the crowded dance floor.

            I’m going to stipulate that some of my opinion came from the fact that it had been too damn long since I’d been on a stage, and a good bit of it came from those Neon Nightlights, but I’d have to say we did a pretty damn well. I mean, after Spike introduced us as, “One dead Brit n’ a couple a yanks,” the crowd seemed pretty receptive to what we were playing. With an old-rock sound and quick beat, the crowd was dancing in no time. And I have to think they liked us, because the owner of the bar requested we finish out the rest of the night playing. By the time we headed back, it was only a few hours until dawn, and Liline and Alton left almost immediately to head for home, while Spike herded us upstairs for bed.

            But Xander was far from tired. Bouncing around the room like a whirlwind, Spike was having trouble even getting him to take off his costume.

            “Xan, get your ass over ‘ere right now!”

            “Aw! C’mon Spike, let’s play summore!”

            “No,” Spike snapped as Xander jumped once onto the bed, bounced once, and jumped off again. “Let’s not! You stink ‘n I’m tired!”

            “You do have a rather powerful odor,” I commented quietly. We’d all been under the lights, in the heat, for hours. Those of us who still could sweat were, in copious amounts (although one amongst us was exempt because of a lack of standard body temperature).

            “Man, Oz, you were awesome tonight, with all that rockin stuff!” he said, jumping onto the bed again and doing an air guitar.

            “Get down!” Spike snapped. “Yer tearin’ up the upholstery!”

            “Aw, don’t be so grouchy!” Xander giggled, jumping onto Spike, planting a deep, quick kiss on his lips, then springing away from him, causing Spike to fall backwards into the dresser. Spike let out a deep, serious growl, but Xander just laughed in response.

            “Hey! Let’s go get some Mexican food! I haven’t had tacos in forever!”

            “Damnit Xander, you just ate at the bar! Now get that fuckin’ costume off before yeh start to chafe!”

            “Nah! I’m king of the world!” Xander said, leaping on top of a dresser on the other side of the room. The dresser rocked unsteadily and groaned desperately under his weight.

            I think it was about then that I knew something bad was going to happen, although I couldn’t have guessed what exactly it would be. Xander, though, was out of control and it was going to take him some serious time to wind down. At the same time, I could see from the spastic movements of his hands and the way he held his eyes open without blinking that he was just as tired as the rest of us. He just couldn’t seem to come down from his high.

            “Hey Oz! Let’s wrestle!” Xander exclaimed, before throwing himself in my direction. It wasn’t a completely unexpected move, to be honest, but I wasn’t ready for it either, and he ended up knocking me into a small table, which splintered under our combined weight. I felt something sharp stab into my palm and yelped in pain.

            Xander was gone instantly, backing away and whimpering piteously.

            “Fuck! Oz! Oh god, man, I’m so sorry! Are you okay! I didn’t meant to… I wouldn’t… I’m sorry!”

            It was Spike who rushed to my side, pulling me up so he look at my hand and pull out the three inch sliver of wood that had dug itself into my palm. I hissed in pain as Spike grabbed a shirt from the floor and pressed the fabric against the wound. It was bleeding badly, but I knew it wasn’t a serious wound. Xander, though, seemed to think he’d killed me.

            “I’m so sorry! Oh god! Stupid!” he snarled, smacking himself in the head. “Stupid fucking cunt! Retard! Fucking zeppo!” he growled, pounding his head with his hands until blood began trickling down his face.

            “Lotta help that’s gonna be!” Spike hissed, grabbing Xander’s wrists to stop him.

            “Look, Xan, I’m really alright,” I tried to console, moving closer, but not within arm’s distance. “It was just a piece of wood. Now, if it had been silver…” I joked, but Xander either wasn’t listening… or couldn’t hear me.

            “Stupid stupid stupid stupid! Fucked it all up! Fucked it all!” Xander muttered under his breath, only a moment before jerking himself out of Spike’s grip and hurling himself at the wall. “Fuck up!” he screamed, driving his shoulder into the stone like he actually thought he could break through.

            Spike was on him before he even managed to get a second hit in, grabbing him around the waist and dragging the snarling and snapping half-demon to the bed. I stood there, frozen by Xander’s ferocity at himself, as Spike dragged Xander down to sit on his lap on the bed.

            But when Spike sank his fangs into Xander’s jugular, I took action.

            “You bastard!” I yelled, hurling myself at Spike while trying to avoid the now-lax Xander. Spike glanced at me, never taking his teeth from Xander’s neck, and delivered one solid kick to my middle that threw me across the room and knocked the wind out of me.

            My head spun, but I managed to pull myself to my knees. I’d be damned if I let Xander be killed over an accident, and I couldn’t imagine what Spike was thinking. Spike proclaimed to love Xander, so why the hell was he using him as a light snack? Still, I figured it was better to err on the side of keeping Xander’s blood inside his body, and I prepared myself to lunge at Spike again.

            But when I looked up, I found that Spike had already pulled back and was now lapping at the few remaining drops of blood on Xander’s neck. Xander was still and a little paler, but breathing normally and his eyes, although glazed and half shut, were still lucid. In a moment, Spike stood and gently deposited Xander on the bed, quickly stripping him and tucking him in. I saw Spike lean close as Xander whispered to him, but Spike simply ran a hand through his hair and shushed him. Then he backed away and turned to me.

            “C’mon, pup,” he said quietly, motioning me to the bathroom.

            I expected to be nervous or angry, so I somewhat surprised myself by walking obediently to the door and entering the dim room. Whatever feeling of panic and anger had been prominent earlier had totally dissipated, and a calmness had settled that was almost palpable. Spike followed with a candle, lighting the others around the room until it was bright enough to see easily. Not that a vampire needed light. Still, I was glad for it as Spike washed my hand in a basin of water and gently removed the remaining shards of wood.

            When he lifted my hand to his mouth and swiped his tongue along the wound, however, even the thick calmness that had kept me complacent so far couldn’t keep me from jerking back with a snarl. I was no body’s dinner, damnit! When it was met with a louder, deeper one from a tired, grumpy vampire, I figured I should probably cut my losses and let him go. Not dinner, perhaps, but I could be a light snack. We both knew that he would win the fight, and I was too tired to fight a losing battle. The fact that trying to get my hand out of Spike’s grip felt like pulling against a statue simply lent credibility to my decision.

            Spike pulled my hand back to his lips and began licking again. I tensed at the sexual feel of it, but began to relax as he made no other advances. After what he’d done to me so far, the whole hand-licking thing was probably the least kinky thing we’d done together so far.

            After a minute, Spike finished and pulled back, licking the last few drops of blood from his lips. I clutched my hand to me, amazed to find that the cut had completely disappeared, and only a lingering redness even showed where it had been.

            “Neat trick.”

            “Mm. ‘Elps out a bit if yeh want ta take a nibble without getting’ in trouble.”

            “So is that why you…?”

            “Nah. Healin’s in the saliva. There’s a kinda venom in the fangs, though, ‘elps calm Xan down if ‘e’s up too high. ‘S ‘bout the only thing that kin bring ‘im back down from that.”

            “And that was…?”

            “Panic attack. Got ‘im too wound up, was bound to happen. Xan can’t always keep control of himself. You did good, though, pup. ‘S all about stayin’ calm.”

            “Would have been nice to have moved out of the way, though.”

            “Yeh’ll be ready next time. I prob’ly should have warned ya ‘bout Xan’s little… episodes.”

            “Does this happen much?”

            “Not too much, not any more. ‘E just got all excited, with Alton ‘n all.”

            “Xander seems pretty fond of Alton,” I mused, leaning against the wall. “Why didn’t you just keep Xander and Alton together? If you were looking for a friend for him, it seems like he’d be the best choice.”

            “Firstly, I’d a needed ta give up my territory, or Liline woulda need to give up hers, fer them to stay together, which neither of us is willing to do. Secondly, it’s us’ly pretty hard to keep vamps of diff’rent covens together for a long time ‘cause the demons see other vamps as either family or foe, so friends fall into the foe category. ’N, mostly, it’s ‘cause Alton is really good for gettin’ Xander wound up, but not so much at gettin’ ‘im calmed down.”

            “So… you’d contemplated this before, eh?”

            “If Alton were free, he’d a been with us in a heartbeat. Like I said, though, it wouldn’t a worked out. You, on the other hand, did a damn fine job a keepin’ Xan from gettin’ too riled.”

            “Umm… I don’t know if you noticed, but he just got riled up, and I was totally there.”

            “Don’t mean jus’ now, pup, I mean at th’ bar. I thought I was gonna ‘ave ta bring ‘im home way before they closed up, but yeh managed ta get ‘im ta simmer down ev’ry time he got keyed.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “’Member when Xan was fixin’ ta climb on th’ bar ‘n try a strip tease? Not that I woulda minded at home, but you convinced ‘im not ta strut his stuff fer the whole bar. ‘N I can’t tell yeh what a relief it was not ta ‘ave ta fetch ‘im from the rafters, ‘n I know ‘im n Alton were itchin’ ta get up there. But you got Xan ta mellow out ‘n play darts ‘n pool ‘n shite. Not that hittin’ the manager in the noggin with that one dart didn’t cause a rise, but all in all pet it was a damn nice evenin’ that didn’t end in me ‘n Liline chasin’ our boys all over creation.”

            “So… is that it then? Is that all I am here? A glorified babysitter?” I wondered. Hell, I didn’t mind being employed, but I should at least be getting paid for this. And… you know… not fucked.

            “If yeh can’t tell you’re here for more ‘n just babysitting by now, you prob’ly don’t deserve to be here.”

            “What do you mean?” I asked and Spike sighed tiredly.

            “You may not realize it, pup, but Xander might be the only being on the face of the planet that you can connect with. Do you know how rare it is for a human to survive the hellmouth, knowing all the nasties that are hidin’ under it? Do you know how rare it is for half demon, wolf or hyena, to fight free of the evil side? To not go insane and revert back to an animal? I can help Xander with that, because the vampire in me isn’t so different from the demon in him, but it’s the human part I can’t understand.”

            “You can’t just get him a therapist or something? Why the hell do I have to get fucked if he just needs somebody to talk to?” I snarled.

            “Listen, mate,” he said, and his eyes were suddenly very old and sad. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my long, long life, it’s that I’m not the superhero. Hell, I’m barely the protagonist. I fix things up ‘n I fuck things up, and my main goal is to try to keep the two fairly balanced. I want to give Xander my full attention, to stop everything else until he’s better, but I know from Drusilla that I can’t. That road only leads to a lot of runnin’ and hidin’, and that kind of instability would be the worst thing for Xander’s psyche right now. And I want to put everything into making a safe little paradise for him at home, but I know from Angel that if you ignore everyone and focus on the goal, everyone’s gone by the time you achieve it. As much as I can’t be there every second for him, I won’t abandon Xander either.”

            “So it’s all about Xander?” I asked, even though I knew it was, and was surprised by the disappointment I felt about it.

            “No, pet, it’s about you too. It’s about findin’ out if you can fit here, if you can find what you need in fixin’ what we need. ‘At’s a relationship, mate, like it or lump it.”

            “Most relationships don’t start with one of the participants being forced into it.”

            “Ch. As much as you think this is the most twisted thing in existence, setups like this aren’t uncommon in the demon realm. ‘N you kin try to deny it, but yer part of that world now.”

            “I just…” I paused, suddenly unsure of what to say. How could this relationship work? How… “How does this work, when I’m only here for Xander?”

            At that, Spike smiled, and somehow it made him look slightly less threatening, so didn’t panic when he approached and laid a hand along my cheek, although I still felt a thrill of nervousness.

            “It’s for Xander, it’s not all about Xander.”

            “But…”

            “Shh,” he said, pulling me close and resting his forehead against mine. “It’s okay. You don’t have to fight this. You don’t have to hide and defend. Relax. Let it come. And if it doesn’t, if it just isn’t there ‘n this won’t work, we’ll deal with it then.”

            And then he tilted my head and placed his cool, soft lips against mine, and I let it happen. No resistance. No second thoughts. And it felt so good, to finally give in to the thing that I had wanted and resisted more than anything, that my knees went weak and I fell against him. He caught me and chuckled.

            “’N that’s how y’ know I still got it. C’mon, pup, let’s get you to bed.”

            And there was no where I could think of that I’d rather be.

 


	17. Fighting the Wolf

The next evening, Xander tried to show me how to fight as a demon. And, by all accounts, failed miserably.

“No, no, you have to… you know… just… do it like… like you’re not… trying not to do it.”

“Fantastic. Because I’ve been trying to do it like I’m not trying not to do it for the last hour. Before that I was really trying to do like I wasn’t trying to do it.”

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s just… you’re holding back. You might not mean to, but you are. You can become fully a wolf, and you can control how much or how little of a demon you become when you do a partial transformation. You just have to get over this fear of…”

“Ripping people’s throats out?”

“Of losing control,” Xander finished, rolling his eyes. “Really, Oz, you’re not going get control of this until you face it. I won’t let you hurt anyone.”

“What if I hurt you?”

“Now that I’d like to see,” came Spike’s voice from behind us. We were out in a secluded area of woods, where Xander had it’d be easier to call out the demon within. “A wolf takin’ down a hyena? That’s like watching a kitten beat up a panther.”

“It’s not that bad,” Xander denied.

“Psh. You’re twice his size, with more powerful jaws, and more experience. If you actually went after him, you’d snap him in half and play with the remains.”

“Alright, way more ‘ew’ than I needed in that description.”

“And how is this making me feel better about transforming and attacking him?” I put in. “Not only am I going to lose control, I’m gonna get my ass handed to me.”

“Enough,” Spike said, rolling his eyes. “Nothing’s gonna happen. Xan, just tussle with the pup for a while. ‘At’ll get ‘im loosened up.”

“Well… alright,” Xander said, then leapt and knocked me to the ground.

It only took a couple minutes of us knocking each other around for me to relax. There was something enjoyable about just playing, something primal and deep inside of me that didn’t often get a chance to come out. It was probably hours Xan and I spent rolling around in the grass before Spike whistled and called us to stop. I was panting from all the play as Spike got up and came over, leaning down to talk to me.

And when the hell had he gotten so tall?

Which is when is dawned on me that, some time during the play, Xander and I had both transformed fully. I hadn’t even noticed the slow slip from fangs and ears to full demonic animal, but it didn’t feel like the other times I had transformed. It wasn’t like I was a wild animal breaking free, it was like I was getting in touch with a more primal side of myself. I could feel the urges of the animal pulling me, but they didn’t control me.

“See, pup? If you let the wolf out to play, it’s happy and it doesn’t want to eat anybody. If you lock it up, it gets pissed.”

I huffed in reply, because I wasn’t currently capable of speech and I wouldn’t dignify him with a bark.

That night went by in a blur. Like Xander and Spike, I had begun to get used to the nocturnal schedule we were on, but Xander and I both took a nap after our mock-battle, and then Spike fed us, and then it was nearly sunrise. We went to bed together again as we had the past several nights, and although this was the first time I wasn’t exhausted and terrified, I just didn’t have the energy to fight them.

Xander and I woke around two. Spike woke up long enough to give us each a long kiss (which surprised the hell out of me because at first I thought he’d confused me for Xander) and then told us, “not ta get blood ‘n guts all through yer knickers,” and then promptly passed back out.

“You’ll get a lot of that if you wake him up before nightfall,” Xander said with an indulgent smile on his face. “Spike’s not much of an afternoon person.”

I nodded, feeling like it was closer to two in the morning than two in the afternoon. It was odd how easily I’d fallen into a near opposite schedule to the one I’d followed as a human.

Xander and I left the castle after a quick breakfast and walked about a mile outside of the compound. At this point we stripped, leaving our clothes behind so that we didn’t shred them during the transformation.

“Hey,” Xander said as he stripped in the bushes on the other side of the clearing. “I wanted to tell you something.”

“If there’s anything else out here that wants to have sex with me, I’m going back to the castle.”

“What? No, that’s not it. It’s just that… I know Spike has been talking to you about having a relationship with us.”

“Yeah, he’s been trying to jump my bones every chance he gets.”

“No… well, yes, he does that, but I mean he’s been talking to you about an actual relationship too, right? I mean, that’s why he said he wanted us to rescue you.”

“Well… yeah, he’s said something about that,” I replied, unsure of how much Xander knew about the fact that Spike was trying to get me into the relationship specifically for Xander’s sake… and probably a little because he wanted to fuck me.

“And I know he’s been trying to get you into this relationship specifically for my sake and a little because he wants to fuck you.” Well… at least I didn’t have to worry about keeping secrets. “Well… I don’t know if that’s really what I need.

The first thing that popped into my head was, “Jesus, Xan, you couldn’t have talked about this with Spike _before_ he tried to fuck me?” What popped out of my mouth was, “Huh?”

“Look…” Xander said, looking serious and uncomfortable. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t know if I need you. I mean, I know Spike thinks that I do, and I know things have gotten better since you got here, but things weren’t so bad before. I love Spike, and maybe it was slow going, but I was getting better for him. So… I don’t know if I need you… but I think you might need this, and I… I can share, if this is what you want too. So… don’t do this just for me, that’s all I’m asking. Do this because it’s what you want, or don’t do it at all.”

And with that piece of insight, Xander leapt towards the woods and turned into the biggest lion-horse-ferret monster that I’d ever seen. I hadn’t realized how far hyenas were from my understanding until I saw one up close and in the flesh. And it probably didn’t help that he was at least three times the size of a normal hyena, with red eyes and fangs the size of your hand. Yikes.

I transformed quickly, knowing that the wolf in me was less intimidated by the hyena than the human in me. I had pretty much perfected the art of changing completely now. Instead of being the furry human that I had been changing into before, I had found out that my bones would rearrange themselves and I could become an actual wolf.

“Finally yeh don’t look like a hairy half-ape, pup!” Spike had said gleefully after an afternoon of training had paid off. “Yeh look damn pretty for a mutt.”

He was right, to be honest. By giving in to the wolf inside me, my body had become less deformed, and the beast in my mind had become quieter as well. I could tell from a mirror on the castle wall that I was still small, this time sleek and agile, with a dark tan, almost reddish fur. It was far less frightening than the “hairy half-ape” I had become before, but the body felt no less fierce or deadly.

We ran until darkness fell, both scenting the oncoming wolf in the wind. It seemed that the old male also had a younger wolf with him. It wasn’t common for a lone wolf to travel with others, but it was always safer to travel in pairs, especially when there are several wolf packs out to kill you.

Running, tracking, hunting with Xander felt more right than anything had since I’d been bitten. The wolf in me felt… fulfilled. And the human in me was intrigued by this adventure, and pleased to be spending time with Xander. It was probably the first time that both halves of my personality had been happy without making the other half unhappy.

Maybe this was what I needed. Maybe… Ugh, maybe Spike had been right.

Make a note never to let him know that.

We caught up with the wolf as the moon rose over the horizon. He was huge by all accounts, but no where near the size of Xander. Probably twice the size of me, but just barely brushing Xander’s shoulder, if that gives you any idea of the size difference between me and Xander. Not that I haven’t been used to being a bit smaller than most of the guys, but I felt positively pygmy standing beside the enormous hyena.

The wolf was a full wolf and not the ugly halfling that was created by immature or inexperience werewolves. His body was gray and splattered liberally with mud and dotted with scars. There was just the slightest scent of sickness emanating from his body, and I couldn’t tell if he was wounded or if his madness had simply made itself physically known.

Because the wolf was mad. The insanity was clear in his eyes as soon as Xander and I broke through the thicket and into his path. He didn’t even wait to size us up or learn our intention, simply snarled and prepared to attack.

Xander immediately snarled back and placed himself directly in the big wolf’s path, staying well between the wolf and me. I might have been offended by his over-protectiveness, but somehow I didn’t think he was actively protecting me. There was a madness in Xander’s eyes too, just as deep and haunting as the insanity in the gray wolf. And for a moment, I wasn’t sure if I’d be welcomed into the battle as a team mate… or if Xander would turn on me as another outlet for his rage.

And then Xander did turn to me, and it took all I had not to shrink back from him. But the eyes lost just a bit of their ferocity as he looked at me, and he simply jerked his head toward the bushes and then turned back to the fight.

It was only then that I remembered the pup that had been traveling with the older wolf and saw a boy-sized werewolf crouching and snarling next to the bushes. This one was in the half-man, half-beast form and about the size of a 10-year-old. At least it had the good sense to stay out of the fight, but I couldn’t trust the boy not to get involved once the bigger wolf started to lose.

I started to slink toward the younger wolf, but apparently didn’t slink well enough, because the gray wolf turned on me. Xander was on him in a second and I almost wondered if I hadn’t been used as a distraction, but then I remembered that Xander was huge and didn’t need a distraction.

The young wolf growled at me as I approached, but I was at least too big for him to attack, even though I was considerably smaller than the gray wolf he’d been traveling with. He snapped at me and then tried to dart away, but I was quicker and knocked him over onto the ground. And then, because I had no interest in harming what was probably an innocent 10-year-old boy most of the year and because I couldn’t let him dart off into the woods to get eaten by something else, I sat on him. Planting all my paws directly on his back made me too heavy for him to kick off, and he couldn’t seem to get his head turned enough to bite me, so eventually he settled for snarling and clawing at the dirt. I wasn’t too happy to be left… for lack of a better term… babysitting, but I also didn’t really feel like getting pummeled, so I tried to make myself comfortable on the squirming puppy while I watched the gray wolf battle with Xander.

It was obvious from the beginning that Xander would win. I mean, come on, he was huge! And, yes, there is something to be said for experience. But I’m pretty sure that any experienced wolf would have known to run the hell away from something that size with that many teeth. But the gray wolf was out for blood, and I’m not really sure if he cared whether it was Xander’s blood… or his own.

As the fight began, the gray wolf’s experience came out. He lunged at Xander and then feinted to the side, catching Xander totally unprepared and letting the wolf grab a hold of Xander’s leg and leave a pretty nice gash before Xander kicked him away. The gray wolf’s first- and last- mistake, however, was trying that trick on Xander twice. Despite what teachers had said about him in high school, Xander was a quick study. The two danced around each other for a few minutes, both snarling and snapping, until the old wolf darted in once again and feinted to the other direction. This time Xander appeared to go for him, but was ready as soon as the old wolf changed direction. And once the wolf was in his range, Xander grabbed him by the neck and flopped to the side, holding the wolf’s body with his sharp claws. I put a paw on the pup’s head to keep him from looking at the battle as Xander disemboweled the gray wolf with the claws on his back legs while crushing the old wolf’s throat with his jaws.

And that was the end of the battle.

Xander tossed the carcass to the side after making sure it was dead, and I was relieved to see that he wasn’t planning on eating it. I wasn’t sure what hyena etiquette was on that sort of thing, but I really didn’t think I could have sat through that. He came toward me then and I growled at him, hoping he’d get the message to stay away. He sat down and cocked his head to the side, and it was the first time I really wished we could talk to each other in our animal forms. But, unfortunately, our creatures didn’t speak the same language.

Instead, I was forced to look pointedly at the werewolf pup squirming and whining beneath me, and then rub a paw across my face while staring at Xander. Xander still looked confused, but he mimicked my motion and seemed surprised to find his paw come away red. I don’t think he had realized that he was literally covered in the blood of what could easily be the pup’s father. Xander made a motion with his paw that I could only assume was stay, and then darted off into the weeds, followed only a few minutes after by a splash.

When he returned a few minutes later, there was no trace of blood on him any more, although he was sopping wet. He made a motion for me to get off of the pup. The pup, as expected, tried to dart off as soon as my weight was removed, but Xander grabbed him by the middle before he could get two steps into the forest. I let out a bark of surprise, afraid that Xander would hurt the pup, but calmed when I saw that the pup was merely restrained by Xander’s jaws, not injured. It was an unnerving sight, though, considering almost all of the pup’s torso fit into Xander’s mouth, leaving only the arms and legs dangling. Well, dangling, kicking, and scratching at Xander’s face.

But Xander ignored it as he turned and started home.


	18. What to Do With the Pup

            On our return to the castle, we stopped off in the brush to get our clothes. It was only a few hours from morning, so the werewolf pup had changed back into a preteen boy, and Xander gave the boy his shirt to wear for the rest of the trip back. There was nothing to do about shoes for him, though, and we were half a mile from the castle. Xander and I glanced at each other, then at the dense forest that surrounded us, before Xander stepped toward the kid.

            “So… do you want a piggyback ride?”

This was, apparently, the exact sequence of words to make the child start bawling at the top of his lungs.

“Wait! No! Hey-hey, stop! I’ll-I’ll get you icecream! Please, please stop!”

That just made him cry louder.

“Look, I’m sorry we killed your dad…”

“He wasn’t my dad!” the kid said, glaring daggers at Xander. “And if you’re going to kill me then… then j-just do it!”

“Brave little bastard, isn’t he?” came Spike’s voice from behind us.

The boy whirled only to find himself nose to nose with one of Spike’s monstrous demon-horses. The boy fell backwards with a yelp as Spike dismounted and sized the child up, giving a glance to Xander and me as well.

“Looks like you too made out okay. I was startin’ ta get worried, with how long it was takin’ ya. So is this the whelp that was followin’ the big wolf?” he asked, and Xander nodded. “He didn’t give you any problems, did he?”

“He’s just a kid. Besides, look at him, he’s scared out of his mind.”

“I am not!”

“Boy’s got some bollocks, I’ll give him that. But what was he doin’ with the lone wolf? Family? I’m not pickin’ up a blood feud over this shite.”

“The pup said the wolf wasn’t his dad,” I piped in.

“I was his apprentice,” the boy said, and there was a hint of stubbornness in his voice.

“What the hell would a rogue wolf need a pip-squeak like you for?” Spike argued, standing imposingly over the

“I cooked and stuff. He was teaching me to hunt. Murdock was alright, but sometimes he was…off. And he couldn’t do stuff for himself for days. So I helped him. And then you killed him.”

“Yeah, well your blarmy wolf had been offing pack members across the continent. You didn’t notice him leaving a trail of bodies or what?”

“Sometimes he’d leave me behind for a couple of days. He always came back smelling of blood, but I thought…”

“You thought what? He was butcherin’ cows?”

“He told me he was killing slayers!”

“Now why would that be better? They’re human.”

“They’re monsters!” And now the boy was on his feet and really upset. “A slayer killed my mom!”

“Did your mom happen to eat people?” Xander put in.

“Mom my mom never hurt anyone!” This time it looked like the kid might start kicking Xander in the shins. “All she ever did was kill a stupid hunter that was trying to kill me!” And then he really did kick Xander in the shin.

“Son of a…!” Xander cursed, holding his shin what Spike pulled the kid back by his shirt.

“A’right, so we’ve figured out that yer not gonna grow up and come back for us. So who can we drop yer scrawny arse off with?”

“Yeah, I’ve just got loads of family runnin’ around! My mom’s dead and my dad’s a human and doesn’t know about me. How do you think I ended up with Looney McGee back there?” Man, the kid had a lot of attitude for having just lost the only adult in his life. I wouldn’t want to see him as a teenager.

“So what the hell do we do with you? Just leave ya in the woods for the bears?” Spike snarled at the kid.

Which, of course, resulted in the hysterical crying again.

“No, no, don’t do that. I was jut kiddin’ ‘bout leavin’ ya. C’mon, look, we’ll go get ya some icecream if ya stop.”

“Thank god you two are incapable of procreating,” I said, pushing past Spike. “Look, kid, no one’s going to hurt you or leave you, alright? We had to kill the wolf you were with because he had been killing others, but we don’t mean you any harm. So, before we go back to the castle, my name’s Oz. What’s yours?”

“E-everybody calls me Mack.”

“Well, Mack, the tall one is named Xander and the blonde is Spike. He’s a vampire and we’ve actually got to get going to the castle fairly soon or he’s gonna get turned into a big pile of dust. So do you think you could ride with him to the castle while Xander and I follow behind?” And then I leaned in close and whispered in his ear, “Spike’s actually not as bad as he seems. And you can probably still get that icecream out of him if you play your cards right.”

Mack smiled and then nodded. Xander went to help him onto the horse while Spike came over to my shoulder.

“Nice call, pup,” he said, leaning against me and laying his arm over my shoulders. “You’ve done a lot better than I expected in a short time. I’m proud a you.”

“I wasn’t doing it for you.”

“I know. You were doin’ it for you,” he said, then mounted his horse with a smirk and headed off to the castle at a breakneck speed.

Good thing, too, because the sun was just ready to peak over the horizon.

But then, Spike had never been the most careful vampire around.

It took another hour for Xander and I get back to the castle, wash, and dress in clean clothes that didn’t smell like the pine tree air freshner you stick in your car. We found Mack dressed in a horribly outdated but well-fitting outfit, enjoying a huge sundae and sitting on the floor in front of the fire in the main hall. Spike and Liline were lounging on the couches, while Alton was cross-legged on the floor beside Mack. Xander immediately dropped down next to Alton and got into a conversation about cars, while I picked one of the easy chairs to plop down in and listened to Liline and Spike’s conversiton.

“…So I suspected that this was merely a deranged wolf and not some kind of uprising or infection, but it’s good to have my theories validated.”

“Meaning it’s a relief to know you’ve only got to deal with the one bastard, not a plague of them.”

“Absolutely. The werewolf tribes have had so much to deal with, between run-ins with hunters, keeping away with humans, dealing with uprisings in the packs. It’ll be nice to see it settle a bit.”

“And give you and Alton some time for… demon fighting?”

“Oh god yes! I’m telling you, I just can’t function without at least three rounds a day. Get out some chains and some knives and just really go for it, you know?”

“Umm… we are both talking about sex here, right?”

“Subtlety is obviously not your forte,” she said, grinning in a very gentile way. “Yes, I was talking about sex. Speaking of which, you don’t think having a werewolf pup around will put a damper on that, do you? Because I’ve decided to take the werewolf pup with me. That won’t be a problem, will it?”

“It’ll take a load off of my shoulders, actually. I wasn’t sure what I was doing with the puppy. Can’t really expect the hellmouth would be the best place to raise a kid. But why do you want him?”

“Actually, it seems that Alton has taken a liking to him. And if things don’t work out, I could always set him up with one of the werewolf clans in my domain. But with me off doing master vampire stuff all night, Alton’s been getting lonely. And I just can’t seem to get an interest in all these video games and internet things that he likes so much,” she said, then paused for a moment, looking almost wistfully at Alton. “It’s so hard to bridge the gap between centuries. Eventually, they always need someone who can understand them in ways we simply can’t. Curse of the vampire, I suppose.”

“Curse of the old farts, you mean.”

“I do not fall into that category, thank you very much.”

Spike laughed, but then glanced at Xander, and then at me.

“I get it, though. It’s hard to be the master vampire, the Big Bad, and give them everything they need. It’s nearly impossible.”

“Maybe they only need what you can give them,” I found myself saying, and they both looked at me like I had appeared out of thin air.

“Maybe, pup,” Spike said.

But he didn’t look convinced.


	19. The First Of Many Threesomes

Liline and Alton left the next day, taking Mack with them. Over the course of the night, Mack and Xander had struck up a quick friendship, despite Mack’s earlier impression of Xander, and Alton had left an email address and promised to forward Mack’s as soon as it was set up. Liline just grumbled about “new fangled gadgetry” before biding us all farewell and climbing into her limo.

            The plan was for us to head back to the states the next night, in a private jet with blacked out windows. Apparently, being a master vampire came not only with power, but with wealth as well. So Xander and Spike packed up their things and I kinda sat there watching because, being a kidnapped prisoner and all, I didn’t own anything.

            “We’ll take yeh on a shoppin’ spree when we get back to the states, whelp. Pick yeh up some knickers and whatnot. It’ll be a bash.”

            “We could try to find some of your old stuff, too, if you wanted, but anything in Sunndale is probably long gone,” Xander put in.

            “That’s alright. Werewolves are used to traveling light.”

            “See, Xander? Now there’s the attitude you should have. The less clothes you’ve got, the less I’ve gotta get ya out a, right?” Spike teased. Xander elbowed him in the ribs.

            “Actually, I thought I should talk to you guys about our situation before we went back to the states,” I said. The two stilled in their packing and glanced at each other, then moved toward where I was sitting crosslegged on the bed.

            “What’s on your mind, pup?” Spike asked, sliding beside me on the bed as Xander flopped down on the other.

            “Have you decided you want to- to head off when we get back to the states?” Xander said, trying to keep his voice calm even though I could tell he was upset. “Because you could,” he said, even as he had to clench his fists to say it.

            “No, he can’t.”

            “Damn it, Spike, we can’t hold him hostage forever!” Xander snarled, aiming his upset at Spike. “He gave it a shot, now let him the fuck go! It’s not fair to stick him with my ass all the time!”

            “I think he should feel bloody lucky to get stuck with your ass! And he’s barely been here a week! It takes at least a decade to really get to know a vamp!”

            “Well I’m sorry but some of us don’t live that long!”

            “Guys!” I yelled, getting their attention. “You two can continue to bicker, or you can convince me that I’m not crazy for wanting to try a relationship with you. So far, you’re not doing so well.”

            There was a moment of silence where the two processed this information. Eventually, it was Xander who spoke.

            “You really want to try this with us?”

            “Yes, I really want to try this with you. But I have some conditions.”

            “What conditions?” Spike put in warily.

            “I want to be able to walk out of the relationship whenever I want.”

            I heard Xander suck in a breath, but Spike seemed unfazed.

            “You’ve got ta give it at least a week, ‘n ya can’t up ‘n leave unless one of us really fucks up. Otherwise you’ve got to sit down and try to work it out.”

            “Agreed. I want to be able to say no to sex at any time, during any phase of sex.”

            “Fair enough, assumin’ that there is sex.”

            “So far, the only thing that I really don’t like about this relationship is the sex. I’m not big into being terrified while I’m getting off. Other kinks, maybe, but not that one.”

“That isn’t what it’s usually like, pet, trust me. You’d have a good time if you wanted to. A very good time, if I do say so myself.”

“That’s what Xander says, but I want to see for myself that you two can be good together, and good with me. You know, a test run of the sex before I decide if I really want to get in this or not. So… is here good or should we go down to the basement?”

Spike just stared.

“Holy hell, pet! I think I’m in love,” he crowed, grinning at Xander. “Why didn’t we do this years ago? Fuck, he’s perfect!”

“Down boy,” Xander scolded, laughing. “Man, Oz, you’ve really got to learn how to hold out. You could have got a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine if you’d seemed less eager.”

“From what you said, the sex had better be a damn sight better than wine and chocolates.”

“Oh, have no fear, wolfling,” Spike drawled, grinning in that, “I’m so bad and you are so in for it” way. “You will be well satisfied.”

“Alright, then… should we shake on it? I feel like I’ve just made a business arrangement.”

“Don’t be stupid, pet, we’re in Europe,” Spike said grinning wickedly before pushing me back to the bed and leaning over me. “We kiss to seal a deal here.”

And then his lips descended on mine, and that was all I could think about.

Vampires are dead. I know that. Dead lips are bad. I also know that. Spike’s kiss was… not bad. Very not bad. Very, very not bad.

Okay, Spike’s kiss was amazing. Happy? I had been kind of hoping that the cold lips thing would be disgusting. Because, let’s face it, he’s good at everything else, he can at least suck at kissing, right?

Apparently not. Spike’s lips were cold, but far from seeming like something dead, it was like kissing someone that had just been out in the cold. And the slow, deliberate way he meshed our lips made it all the more intense. And as his lips warmed to mine, it was like he was stealing my life force, and all I wanted to do was give him more.

And when the kiss with Spike ended, he gave me to Xander.

Where Spike is cold and deliberate, Xander is all heat and excitement. There was no deliberate building with Xander, no slow introduction to the kiss. He meshed our lips like he was giving me mouth-to-mouth, and his lips seemed almost burning compared to Spike’s. In less than a minute he had his tongue half-way down my throat, and Spike practically had to drag him off of me to get us to breathe.

And then the sex.

It wasn’t… at all what I would have expected. It wasn’t awkward or hurried or frightening. The demon in my was overjoyed to be showing submissiveness to the alphas, and the human in me was wary but ready to give it a try. So I just laid back and let them lead.

They took opposite sides of me, like they were afraid I’d run if they gave me an opening. Maybe I would have. But after Spike removed my shirt and they both started licking their way down my chest, running was the last thing on mind. Spike’s hand slipped lower, dipping just past the waist of my jeans and running his fingers from my hip across my stomach to just below my navel. He stopped there, teasing his way closer to my straining erection, not giving me the release of having it freed from my jeans. On my other side, Xander nibbled at my neck and ear, rubbing his arousal against my hip as his hands stroked across my chest, flicking my nipples absently. I moaned and started to pant.

“Are we too much for you, pup?” Spike teased, pressing his face against my collarbone.

“You’re doing this on purpose,” I accused.

“Naturally. Can’t rush things for our first time.”

“It’s not our first time.”

“Last time didn’t count; it wasn’t for fun.”

“This time isn’t going to count if you drive me crazy and I get myself off,” I growled, reaching for my own zipper. Xander grabbed my hands before I could even get a hold of it.

“Let Spike work,” Xander said, pulling my hands above my head as he grinned down at me. “It’s worth it in the end.”

“I think he’s suffered enough,” Spike said, moving to kneel over top of me. “After all, he’s not used to this sort of treatment.”

Xander continued to hold my hands, and it’s a good thing he did as Spike leaned down and pulled my zipper down with his teeth, letting my aching member slip free.

“Glad you like going commando as much as Xander does,” Spike said, and I could feel his breath against my skin. It caused my penis to bob with excitement as Spike reached down and undid the button.

“It’d be more impressive if you could get the button with your teeth,” I quipped, but the effect was ruined by my panting.

“Thought you were in a hurry, whelp. That trick takes a bit o’ patience, but if you wanna see it…”

“Maybe some other time.”

“Thought you might be more interested in a different trick.”

And then Spike leaned down and licked just the tip, and I bucked my hips so hard I nearly threw him off the bed.

“God, Spike, quit fucking teasing me!” I snarled, but Spike just laughed.

“But fucking ‘n teasing are the only things I do well.”

“Spike,” Xander warned, and I was glad someone could see that I was nearing the edge of my endurance.

“I know, pet,” Spike said softly, running his fingers softly down my length and causing me to turn my head and moan into Xander’s neck. “But e’s exquisite, you know? I jus’ can’t get enough of makin’ him moan.”

“There will be more time for that later,” Xander said, rubbing his cheek along my face. “Besides, he’s never gonna have sex with us again if you drive him insane this time.”

“Suppose you’re right there,” Spike said, finally taking a firm grasp on my dick and giving it a few pumps. Precum pooled at the tip, and Xander leaned down to lick it away. I shivered.

“Looks like he likes that. Why don’t you take care of this end for a bit ‘n I’ll take care a th’ other.”

So Spike and Xander switched places, with Spike kneeling by my head and Xander taking his place in tormenting my manhood. Xander’s hot tongue darted all over the skin of my thighs and stomach, every once in a while veering over my penis but never staying long enough to give me any kind of release. Meanwhile Spike gave me another passionate kiss, then brought his manhood up to my face and let me paw at it through the fabric of his pants.

“Jeeze, pup, I’m not gonna last very long either if yeh keep that up,” Spike growled as I mouthed the crotch of his pants.

“I think we’re all wearing too many clothes,” Xander said, pulling my pants the rest of the way off. Spike and Xander both disrobed quickly, and then Xander returned to licking and sucking the length of my dick, while Spike brought his penis up to my face and let me take the tip into my mouth. It was soft and hard and salty and the wolf in me loved the taste of flesh in its mouth and only needed the slightest bit of restraining not to bite. I teased the tip mercilessly until Spike moaned and gave me another inch, and I smiled around his cock knowing that I had provoked that reaction.

That was, until Xander bent my knees and began to lick my balls and then... further beyond. I jerked back, but after a moment the feeling of his tongue darting into my deepest recesses was too erotic to protest. I released Spike’s penis and moaned, clenching onto the sheets beside me.

“I think it’s time we moved a little further,” Spike said, smiling before he reached for the bedside table and pulled out a bottle of lube. Xander pulled back and curled beside me, waiting to take his lead from Spike.

“I didn’t know you guys used lube,” I wondered before I could help myself. Spike just smirked.

“We’re demons, luv, not monsters,” he said, kneeling down to lick his way up my neck. “I should warn you,” he continued, “that there is a high likelihood that any of us, or all of us, could bite during sex. It tends to happen.”

“I won’t… I’m not going to turn into a vampire or a… or a hyena, am I?” I asked hesitantly. The vampire might not be so bad, but mixing that hyena with the wolf… just sounded like a bad idea.

“Don’t worry,” Spike murmured against my skin, still liking and sucking in the vicinity of my neck. “You can’t become a vampire from one bite. And you and Xander… well… let’s just say your infections are too closely related for you two to infect each other.”

“And what if I bite you?” I asked. Spike smiled.

“No worries, pet. Once a vamp, always a vamp. Nothing can infect us, since we’re technically already dead.” And then he leaned in close, and I could feel his breath whisper across my ear. “With us, pup, you don’t have to hold it back. You _can’t_ hurt us. You can do anything and everything your dirty little heart desires.”

And that offer of total freedom, for some strange, perverted reason, went straight to my groin, and I bucked up again. It was only then that I realized how my jaws ached to nip and bite the flesh of the two men that were with me. I realized that I still had been holding back. I threw my legs open wantonly and leaned forward, licking and then sucking on the flesh of Spike’s neck.

“You don’t lose any time at all, do you?” Spike teased, pulling away from me. I had only a moment to be disappointed, though, before Xander’s lips met mine in a fierce kiss, and this time I met his every nip and bite with one or two of my own.

Spike, meanwhile, took advantage of my distraction to spread my legs further, lubing up his fingers before pressing one of the digits into me. I shivered at the strange but not unfamiliar feeling, letting my body adjust to the intruder. Xander was doing a fantastic job of keeping me occupied while Spike slipped in another and then a third finger.

Surprisingly, I felt very little anxiety at this stage. I had been anticipating massive amounts of fear and terror because, honestly, the last time I’d had sex with these two had been absolutely terrible. But, remarkably, I was so turned on by the whole situation that I only began to feel a bit of apprehension as Spike finished preparing me and pulled back.

“Oi! Xander! You wanna quit sucking his face long enough to get to the actual shagging?” Spike asked. Xander shook his head and kissed me some more, but eventually pulled back to get into position.

I hadn’t really thought about the logistics of our positions. I had easily anticipated being on the bottom because I was the least dominant of the three of us, and because that’s what the wolf expected. I had some notion of being taken by one and then the other again, or of being on the bottom of a Spike and Xander dog-pile. How things were supposed to be angled and contorted to the correct positions, however, was beyond me. All I really knew was that I was going to be on bottom.

So when Xander rolled over and pulled me on top of him, with my back facing Spike and my front facing Xander, I was totally baffled. No part of me had expected to be the middle of the sandwich, and the wolf was doing somersaults with nervousness. I glanced back at Spike for some direction, be he looked just as bewildered as I did. And then both of us looked at Xander, who was smiling beneath us, but his eyes were serious.

“Xan… What… Are you sure about this?” Spike asked, and his voice was more serious than a simple position reversal should have warranted.

“I’m sure,” he said to Spike, and then to me, “I don’t want this just to be about dominance and sex. I want… I want us to be equals, or as close as possible.”

            Well, wasn’t that pretty much what I had wanted to find out from this whole excursion? The knowledge flooded me with warmth and I gave Xander a genuine smile, but I could still feel Spike’s trepidation behind me and it was totally ruining the moment.

            “Are you sure you can handle this?” Spike asked him, and it was only then that I saw worry flit across Xander’s face. It was then that I realized just what this admission would cost Xander. The hyena’s instincts were stronger than even the wolf’s, and all of them would be screaming for Xander to tear my throat out before be gave me any kind of dominance. Those instincts were probably already screaming for Xander to put me down because of my dominant position. What would it be like when I tried to fuck him? Would he tear my throat out? The fact that it was an actual concern worried more than anything.

            “I can handle this,” Xander said, “I need… I need to do this, for us.”

            “Alright, whelp, just take it slow,” Spike cautioned, then pushed me forward until I was sprawled on top of Xander. “We’ll start with the pup.”

            Xander nodded and closed his arms around me, lightly enough that I wouldn’t feel entrapped. I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder as a sudden chill of anxiousness ran through me. Xander ran his hands down my arms as Spike lifted my hips, putting my knees on either side of Xander and raising my ass.

            “Don’t be gettin’ cold feet now, pup,” Spike drawled, trailing his hands along my thighs and spreading my legs. He whispered his breath against my entrance, and I could feel my erection bob in excitement. “The fun’s just starting.”

            And then he was mounting me, covering my body with his as his dick pressed against my hole. I took a breath and tried to relax. I could feel the strength of the body above mine, could smell the heavy, heady musk surrounding me, and the wolf howled in delight.

            Xander kissed me as Spike began to enter. I don’t know if this was planned, or is Xander simply couldn’t resist, but the result was me gasping and whimpering into his mouth as Spike pushed the head past the first ring of muscle.

            “Shh, relax, pet,” Spike soothed, stopping to rub my back and let my muscles relax. “The worst will fade in a moment. Trust me, it gets much better.”

            But the worst was fading already, to be replaced with an intoxicating feeling of fullness. Spike bent over and sucked my shoulder, teasing me with his fangs without breaking the skin, and I couldn’t help but buck back against him.

            “’At’s the spirit!” Spike encouraged, giving me a shallow thrust that sent a surge of pleasure coursing through me. I moaned and tried to thrust again, but he held my hips. “Don’t get carried away, or yeh’ll get hurt,” he cautioned. “Hang on to him, Xan.”  
            I huffed as pulled me back down, holding me still as Spike gave another shallow, experimental thrust and began sinking himself the whole way in. The pain returned as the muscles expanded, but Xander was good at distractions, especially with his mouth.

            When Spike was fully seated, he pulled me to my knees again, raising my ass and putting space between me and Xander. As Spike began to pull out, Xander made good use of the space between us, reaching between to fondle my erection. I gasped, as the dual sensations went right to my groin. The pain faded completely and I found myself pushing back against Spike, desperate for more friction. Spike laughed against my back.

            “Knew you’d love it,” he teased, nipping at my shoulder. I whipped around and met him with a kiss that was more fang than lip. He hissed, biting back with those needle-sharp fangs of his, showing his control by bruising without breaking the skin.

            “Oi! Do you guys need some space or something?” Xander huffed, drawing our attention back and making Spike chuckle again.

            “Alright, alright, drama queen,” Spike said, grabbing my hips and thrusting back in hard enough to make me gasp, then pulling me away from Xander. Xander lifted his legs, wrapping them around my hips.

            “Take it slow,” Spike cautioned, lowering his hips and pushing me toward Xander. The tip of my cock pressed against Xander’s hole and I shivered at the feeling of taking and being taken at the same time. As Spike pushed me slowly forward, controlling our pace and basically fucking Xander through me, the head slipped in to Xander’s lubed hole. Xander moaned and threw his head back, closing his eyes and panting. Spike smiled.

            “I think ‘e likes us, pet,” Spike said, pushing me just a bit more forward. It was like he was taunting me, moving me so slowly into Xander when his own cock was buried in my ass. My dick was throbbing, and I couldn’t help giving a sharp thrust of my hips and burying my cock in half way. I heard Xander yelp in pain, and then there was a sudden flurry of movement.

            When it settled, Spike had his arm around me in a headlock, and Xander’s teeth were buried in his arm. It took me a moment to process the fact that my neck had just been where his arm was. The knowledge that those teeth could have easily been in my throat instead of Spike’s arm washed over me like a bucket of ice water.

            It was Xander that moved first, whimpering and pulling his fangs out of Spike’s arm. His mouth hung open, like he was afraid to taste the blood that speckled his lips.

            “Oh god,” he gasped, his eyes wide and terrified. I couldn’t say mine looked much different. I could feel Xander start to shake beneath me. “Oz, I’m so sorry! I’m so…”

            “Maybe we should stop…” I put in hesitantly, pushing back as I felt Xander’s shaking intensify. But Spike was a wall against my back, and he wasn’t budging.

            “I fucked everything up again,” Xander moaned.

            “Alright, knock it off,” Spike growled, glancing at his wound around my head. “It’s not that bad.”

            “Not that bad?” Xander snarled, suddenly angry. “I could have killed him!”

            “No, you couldn’t,” Spike said firmly, causing Xander to pause. “You couldn’t, because I won’t let you. The pup was never in any danger,” Spike soothed, leaning over me to press his forehead against Xander’s. “I have control.” Spike assured, his strength and dominance flowing into every word, making both Xander and me relax. “Now, calm down, take a couple breathes, and we’ll try again. And you,” he snapped, turning to me. “When I say take it slow, I mean don’t fucking snap your hips half way in.”

            “Sorry,” I said, not sure whether I should feel sheepish or terrified.

            “Don’t apologize to me,” Spike said, inclining his head toward Xander. “Kiss and make up.”

            I glanced at Spike, and then to Xander, who was still looking miserable beneath me. I was still nervous, but there was just something in his face, a look of hopelessness and frustration, that I simply couldn’t ignore. It could too easily have been me in his position for me to have any recrimination for him. Instead, I leaned down and pressed my lips to his. He hesitated a moment, then poured himself into the kiss with a moan of relief. He opened his mouth to me, and I slipped my tongue and tasted blood on his lips. It sent a jolt directly to my cock.

            “Now that’s a show I’d pay to see,” Spike teased, leaning over me as Xander and I parted our kiss. Spike slipped in and gave Xander a possessive peck, then turned and gave me a longer, deeper kiss. It was almost as though he was reestablishing his dominance over Xander and fixing his dominance over me. It was hard to know, though, because my semi-dominant position over Xander had thrown my wolf into a tizzy, and it wasn’t telling me anything helpful except how badly it wanted to be a part of this pack.

            Spike took full control now, giving a firm snap with his hips that plunged him deep inside me. He pushed me down then, pressing the head of my dick against Xander’s hole. It was intoxicating, to feel so controlled and out of control at the same time. Spike kept a firm hold on my hips as he slowly pressed me in. Xander moaned and closed his eyes.

            “Don’t you fucking dare,” Spike snarled, surprising Xander into looking at us. “You keep those eyes open. I don’t want you to forget who’s fucking you.”

Xander nodded seriously, and I was reminded of the damage he could do if the hyena got full control for even a second.

Spike didn’t give me a moment to dwell on it though, as he continued pressing me into Xander’s body. Xander moaned, and I felt I owed him the favor and I reached out and grasped his member. He moaned again, his eyes meeting mine as I gave him a few quick strokes. After a few more strokes, Xander wrapped his hand around mine and helped me find a rhythm. Spike continued pressing me forward until I was seated fully inside Xander, the heat of his body surrounding my member and driving me wild. But where I would have begun to thrust, Spike kept a firm hold on me and kept us still.

“Give it a second,” Spike cautioned, “You ready for us, Xan?”

Xander nodded and Spike pulled back, first pulling me out of Xander and then pulling himself out of me. A moment later he thrust back in, pounding into me and pushing me into Xander. The dual sensations made me groan and I felt my body go lax, allowing Spike to use me as he wished. And Spike wasted no time using his grip on my hips to fuck me, first pulling me back onto his hips and then pushing me into Xander. My hand fell away from Xander’s member, but he was too caught up in his own strokes to notice. I was ready to come just from the dual sensations, but Spike slowed his pace, keeping me from reaching orgasm. Instead, he reached his hand out and grasped Xander’s dick where I had released it, giving it a few expert strokes. It only took a few moments for Spike’s hand to push Xander over the edge, causing him to spurt hot semen all over me. I would have protested, but Spike began the fucking again even before Xander was done, doing rapid thrusts that made me forget what I was even going to complain about. Xander lay bonelessly beneath me, letting me fuck him, while Spike pistoned me from behind. It took less time for me to come than Xander, and Spike gave me only a moment to press my dick into Xander and explode before he pressed me onto Xander’s chest and started mercilessly pounding my ass. It was all I could do not to come a second time as his dick rubbed my over sensitized prostrate. Xander had come back to himself enough to put his arms around me, helping stabilize me against Spike’s deep, dominating thrusts. It was only moments before Spike growled deep and slammed into me, a jet of cool fluid pumping deep into my ass.

We lay there in a panting (except for Spike) heap for a few minutes before any of us could move. Eventually Spike flopped onto his side, pulling me with him before pulling out of me. In the state I was in, I felt that I was doing my part by staying conscious, so I didn’t protest when Xander grabbed a towel and cleaned me and Spike. Once we were all spunk-free, he tossed the towel into a corner and flopped himself back onto the bed.

“Was it all you had hoped it would be, pup?” Spike asked, grinning as he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into his cool embrace.

“Would it stoke your ego to much if I said it vastly exceeded my expectations?”

“Considering how bad the beginning of this week was for you? Not really.”

Xander slid up on my other side then, the heat of his sweat-slicked body creating a counterpoint to the coolness of Spike’s.

“So you’ll stay with us?” Xander asked, resting his head on my shoulder, his cheek pressed against mine.

“I… want to,” I told him, and it was as close to a promise as I could get.

“The three of us, together forever,” Spike said, and there was a hint of bitterness in his voice that I couldn’t place, but he stroked my hair affectionately and suddenly I didn’t have the strength to worry.

And with Xander curled around me and me curled around Spike, we drifted off to sleep.


	20. Pressing the Issue

            For being a threesome between a vampire, a werewolf, and a demon, the introductory period into the relationship was actually pretty normal. Almost boring, really. There was the “the red toothbrush is yours, the blue toothbrush is mine,” conversation, the “don’t go outside after dark or you’ll get eaten by wyvern,” conversation, the “what to do to Spike’s knees to make him orgasm like crazy,” conversation. All very basic stuff.

            Being with Spike and Xander was normal in a way that was so not normal that it was normal all over again. Does that make any sense? It’s like… Like there had never been anything in my life that was really normal. Even before I became a werewolf, I lived in Sunnydale, which was the quintessential location for pretending everything was normal even when it wasn’t. So, things weren’t normal with Spike and Xander, and that made them feel normal to me. And what was better, was there was no trying to pretend about it. It was not normal, and that was normal. So when the refrigerator was crammed full of raw meat and blood, there wasn’t a second thought about it. And even though Spike’s constant flossing of his fangs was annoying, it wasn’t weird. It was… homey.

            But it still wasn’t right.

            I couldn’t help thinking this as I flopped back on the huge four-post bed that took up most of the bedroom, which had originally been a meeting room for the abandoned office building Spike now inhabited. Xander had done a good job remodeling it, with the burgundy wallpaper and dark wooden floors, the room managed to look masculine without looking morbid. The heavy canopy that hung around the bed matched the red carpets that had been placed strategically around the room, and kept out any sunlight that might make it through the heavy curtains on the windows.

            Not that we needed the extra security, considering Spike was never in the room for more than a couple hours. Now that he was back in charge as the Master Vampire of Sunnydale, he’d been handling so many situations that he usually didn’t come home until after the sun was up, and was back out on the prowl before it even descended. The most Xander and I had seen of him was when he downed a couple pints of microwaved blood, grabbed a shower, made out with me and Xander, and then passed out in front of the tv.

            And… maybe I was being a little paranoid… but it almost seemed like he was avoiding us. I didn’t know how things had been before, but… I couldn’t help but wonder if there was a reason Spike couldn’t take us with him, or bring some of his work home. Or… something.

            It was no wonder Xander needed a babysitter. With the emotional equivalent of a pat on the head before Spike left every day, with the minions basically acting like Xander didn’t exist, and with no one else around for him to talk to, even a goldfish would have committed suicide, let alone someone as desperately tactile as Xander. The boredom alone would drive him crazy.

            Which was evident by the way he came bounding out of the shower and leapt onto the bed, almost bouncing me off the other side.

            “No more sugar for you,” I commented lightly as Xander sprawled his wet hair all over my thigh.

            “I can’t help being affectionate. Hyenas are very demonstrative.”

            “I suppose that’s why you’ve got your nose in my crotch?”

            “Yeah… well… that, and I’m trying to get laid,” he said with a shameless smile. He nosed my groin again, which was covered in silk pajamas, in a way that made my blood stir, but I knew it was just for show. We’d just gotten each other off less than an hour before, and while the hyenas stamina was high enough that he could definitely go again, he wasn’t going to push the issue if I wasn’t into it. And I was more than sated. Besides, Xander and I needed to talk.

            But how to broach the subject of Spike’s behavior with Xander without setting him off or making him think I was leaving? Would my questions about Spike make Xander think that he would have to choose between the two of us? Should I wait until Spike was around, in case Xander got violent? But was this something I really wanted to talk about with all three of us? Or should I try to ask Xander alone first? These kinds of subjects could be so hard to talk about.

            “You’re awfully quiet,” Xander said, rolling to the side and flopping on the bed. “What the hell do you think’s up with Spike lately? You think he’s avoiding us?”

            Or maybe not so hard.

            “I don’t know. Was it like this before I got here?” I asked. It was something of a fear of mine that he was mostly avoiding me.

            “Yeah,” Xander said hesitantly, “He was gone a lot before… but it was different. I don’t know. He definitely found more time during the day to come see me, even if it was just when he ate lunch. And… I don’t know, he made more promises before and more excuses. But… more time? I don’t really know.”

            “So it’s possible that he’s leaving it to me to spend time with you while he takes care of Master Vampire stuff? That maybe he was just stretched too thin before?”

            “I guess,” Xander said, but he didn’t sound any happier with that conclusion than I was.

            The fact was, it seemed like Spike, for whatever reason, was pulling away from us. I could tell from the way Xander stared at the door when he thought I wasn’t looking that he missed Spike a lot. And, if I was being honest, there was a part of me that felt incomplete without the irritating blonde around. Our pack was missing a member, and Xander and I both knew it.

            In the two weeks since I had arrived here, we had only really had a handful of times where the three of us were together for anything other than sleeping. Of those, about half consisted of the three of us humping each other furiously before falling asleep in a heap. We had yet to repeat the fantastic sex we’d had at the castle, but our wanking was satisfying enough. We had spent one afternoon shopping for a new wardrobe for me, which included three pairs of the stylish new pajama pants I was currently sporting. We also, of course, had taken a full day for Spike and Xander to show me around the complex and introduce me to the minions so that they would know that I was very much not on the dinner menu. Other than that, though, it had mostly been me and Xander.

            Not that being with Xander was boring. Beyond the fact that he was insatiable, and was trying to get off or get me off at least five times a day, he also tried to keep busy by doing repairs on the complex. And there were plenty of repairs to be done, from the fact that all the plumbing had been unused for at least five years, to the copious holes in the roof and the damage that had done to the first and second stories of the six-story office building. And while the building might have been in a prime location for preventing the hellmouth from spilling into the human world, the sanitation and structural integrity of the building left much to be desired. Especially since the minions seemed to have completely forgotten how to clean in their transition from life to unlife, and left the place covered in mold and dust without any thoughts about it. Xander had already managed to reclaim the first floor from the deterioration, along with his section of the basement, and we left the rest of the basement alone for the minions while together we started repairing the roof and reclaiming the second floor.

Between the work, making sure Xander took his pills, reminding Xander to eat, and keeping Xander from picking fights with the minions, life was actually rather busy. But it was still impossible to deny that there was something missing.  

            “So… should we say something?” Xander wondered, bringing me back to the present.

            “I think we should probably wait,” I decided. “After all, didn’t Spike say Dawn was coming home this weekend?” Was it really Wednesday already?

            “Hey, that’s right!”

            “I’m sure Spike will want to spend some time with her.”

            “Hopefully he drags us along with him,” Xander groused grumpily, but I knew he didn’t mean it. As absent as Spike had been lately, he hadn’t done anything intentionally mean or spiteful.

            It was late (or early, depending on your definition) and we had been lifting beams to help support the deteriorating roof all day, so I wasn’t surprised when Xander slowly drifted off, his head pillowed against my thigh. It surprised me a bit when I was able to get myself loose and stalk out of the room without him waking, but then again Xander tended to sleep deeply or not at all. The sun was just peaking the horizon, which meant Spike would be forced to head back soon, and I felt I should confront him without Xander.

            As I expected, I found Spike in the basement with the minions and the few fledges he still kept. The minions ignored me as I passed, only a few bothered to hiss at me as I entered the shower room. Although the complex was powered by a generator outside, the piping in the building was too old to support pressure and the water heater was beyond repair, so only the basement, the kitchen, and the master bedroom had running water. The kitchen and the bedroom ran hot water from a small water heater that Xander had installed before I arrived. A public bathroom had then been converted into a giant shower so that the minions and fledges could wash after particularly nasty battles. Spike, I was told, insisted that the cold water couldn’t hurt the minions, and there was no point in wasting electric to run another water heater. On days that the battles were particularly bloody or disgusting, Spike would wash with his minions downstairs before coming upstairs for a hot shower, a hot meal, and then bed.

            I didn’t really want to know what kind of monster had managed to cover Spike, two fledges, and six minions in sticky, vile-smelling, yellow goo. All were naked, and I could see that most were covered in dark, quickly-healing bruises. Spike had a dark patch from the bottom of his right calf to the top of his shoulder, looking like something had thrown him against a wall. It almost made me want to rethink asking Spike to let us spend more time with him, if that was one of the activities we would be participating in.

            “Oz? Something happen with Xan?” Spike asked from across the room. He was glorious, by the way, even wet and covered in yellow slime. It was starting to make me feel inadequate.

            “No, he’s sleeping.”

            “Ah. Well, I’ll out in a second. Don’t suppose you want to join me?” Spike teased, but I could feel icy spray of water even from where I stood and I was not the least bit interested in wading in with Spike and a dozen other freezing vamps covered in slime. Tempting as that might sound.

            “Toss me a towel?” Spike asked, washing off the last of the goo and stepping out of the spray. I tossed him an HI monogramed towel and just hoped that the large pile next to me had been plundered from the abandoned Holiday Inn inside of Sunnydale and not some other establishment in the nearby city. I could assume that would not endear us to local businesses, and I was really dying for a Chinese place to move in close enough to deliver.

            “So what did you want to talk about, pup?” Spike said, toweling off his hair as he came out of room, no thought to his naked appearance as we headed upstairs. Falling into step beside him, I was at a perfect height to look up and see the dark circles under his eyes.

            “I’d say maybe we should talk about this later, but it never seems to get to later anymore.”

            “Yeah…” Spike said, and it seemed like there was a note of sheepishness in his voice, but it was hard to tell with the towel over his head. “Sorry about that, it’s just been busy.”          

            “Are you sure that’s all it is?”

            “Huh?” he asked, dropping the towel onto his shoulders.

            “It’s just… You’ve been awfully busy lately. And all of your busy stuff is too dangerous for Xander and I to come. Xander said you were busy before, but it wasn’t all slimy demon killing. So… Are you avoiding me?”

            “Why would I be avoiding you and that sexy arse?” Spike asked, turning and backing me towards a wall, and it was an avoidance tactic if I’ve ever seen one. Of course, with him being naked, it almost worked.

            “I don’t have a reason, I just know me and Xander…”

            “God, pup, you didn’t talk to Xander about this shite, did you?” Spike snapped.

            “Xander was already worried about this.”

            “It’s your job to keep him from being worried about this kind of stuff!” Spike snarled, stomping a few paces away from me.

            “I thought we agreed that I wasn’t a damn babysitter?” I snapped back.

            “Look, yeh don’t have to babysit him to keep an eye on him. You know how that stuff gets to him!”

            “He was being a lot more fucking mature about it than you are!” I yelled, and a little part of me could not believe that I’d been goaded into a screaming match with Spike.

            “Damnit! All you’ve got to do is keep him fucking occupied, and you can’t even do that?”

            “If you can’t handle him, then let him go! Neither of us is going to sit around all fucking day waiting for you to get home like a couple fucking stray dogs!”

            It was too much, and I realized it a second after the words left my mouth and Spike turned those glowing yellow eyes on me. The vampire could not let that go coming from one of his subordinates. His dominance must be asserted.

He had me against the wall in the next instant, one hand wrapped around my throat and the other holding a vice-like grip on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and balled my hands into fists, trying to hold them submissively by my sides. If he was going to beat me, it would only be worse if I fought.

My time as a werewolf omega had taught me that well enough.

But there were no vicious blows or claws, and the hand around my throat kept me still without constricting my airways. After a moment, I dared to open my eyes to find Spike just as tense as I was, holding his body in check by just the barest thread of will power. His eyes seemed far away, like he was waging some kind of internal battle with himself, and I barely let myself breathe for fear of setting him off.

And then suddenly it was as if he had come to some kind of decision, and his hands moved to my shoulders and shoved me down to my knees. One hand moved to my hair and shoved my face into his groin, and it happened so fast that I didn’t even have time to open my mouth and ended up with my cheek resting against his half-hard cock. Spike snarled, his grip on my shoulder becoming painful, before I opened my mouth and swallowed his cold flesh, quickly sucking him to full arousal and warming his pale skin.

There wasn’t any finesse in my strokes, no playing with him or drawing it out. I sucked him off as quickly as I could, bobbing my head and trying not to gag on his length. He hissed in pleasure, taking in just enough air to make that sound and then ceasing to breathe once again. It wasn’t long before he began jerking his hips, fucking my mouth and quickly closing in on his orgasm.

Just before the moment of climax, Spike jerked my head back, holding my face just inches from his cock and spurting the cool semen all over my face. I got to see the rage and lust fade from Spike’s face, got to see him as it dawned on him what had just happened. I had little doubt that my lips were bruised and my knees were scratched. I was panting, and I know he could smell that it was from fear and adrenaline. And although I still had my shorts on, I know he could tell how disinterested my cock was in what had just happened. It knew as well as I did that this had been about dominance, and not about sex.

Which, for some reason, I found didn’t bother me as much as it should have. Perhaps I was getting used to the wolf’s nature inside me, or perhaps I was just glad I hadn’t gotten the shit kicked out of me, but… it was okay.

Spike, on the other hand, looked absolutely appalled as he pulled me to my feet and dragged me upstairs, carefully washing my face before putting me to bed.

            The next day, perhaps for obvious reasons, I found myself dragged to Xander’s therapy appointment.

 


	21. A Dose of Perspective

            I knew Xander had a psychiatrist the same way I knew Jupiter had rings; I accepted it, but I never expected to find out for myself. So when Spike announced that Xander had an appointment, I followed meekly along and intended to catch up on the news while sitting in the waiting room.

            I never expected to hear my name called.

            “Uh… wha?” I mumbled at the receptionist.

            “Signed you up, pup,” Spike said, not even popping his head out from behind his magazine. He’d been subdued around me since yesterday’s interaction, and I wasn’t really sure what to do to fix it.

            “But… I… You…”

            “Go, get your sobs out, spend the whole hour wasting my money, for all I care, but get in there before the receptionist gets peeved.” I glanced at the receptionist, who appeared to be some kind of Fury, as she looked up from filing her… talons and gave me a cold glare.

            “Ah… okay.”

            And that’s how I ended up seated in front of a buxom 30-something with bright red lipstick and a v-neck top that revealed most of two plump breasts. She looked like something straight out of a porno. And… she looked kind of annoyed.

            “Umm... I don’t want to offend you and get thrown into a hell dimension… but do you wear this for all your clients?”

            The woman, who had introduced herself as Jane, rolled her eyes and then removed her glasses.

            “This room is enchanted to make your surroundings conducive to whatever you need to talk about. That includes me. From my clothing… or lack thereof… I can assume that you need to talk about your sex life.”

            “Oh.”

            “So,” she said, replacing the glasses and picking up her notebook. “You are Spike and Xander’s new consort, you knew Xander in high school and you were familiar with Spike some years ago. You are a werewolf who was recently rescued from an abusive pack. Xander told me that he didn’t think you had ever been in a homosexual relationship before and said you were reluctant to agree to join them but eventually conceded and seem fairly happy with the situation. Does that sound about right?”

            “Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.”

            “So, can you tell me why you’re here today?”

            “Other than everything you just said?” Well, I guess if she already knew I needed to talk about the sex, there was no point in beating around the bush. “Probably because I flipped out on Spike yesterday and he fucked my face.”

            “Is it something you need help accepting?”

            “Not…. Not really,” I said, hesitating as I wondered how to say this without sounding completely fucked up. “It… It wasn’t like I deserved it… But… It was almost like it needed to happen.”

            “Spike is your alpha. If you show aggression towards him, his demon will instinctively put you down. I’m surprised he chose sex instead of violence. You haven’t really been together long enough for that to be acceptable.”

            “It seemed like he had to try to control himself, like it took him a minute to decide that he could do that. I thought at first that he was going to hit me.”

            Jane hummed and wrote something quickly in her notebook. I found myself surprised at how easy it was to talk to her about this stuff, but I supposed that it was probably because she looked like there was nothing I could say that would surprise her.

            “It doesn’t seem like this incident is upsetting you.”

            “No.”

            “So,” she seemed annoyed, “why are you here?”

            “I guess because it’s upsetting Spike.”

            “Then I would think it would be Spike sitting here with me,” she said, and I could see her make an effort not to roll her eyes again. It was kind of pissing me off.

            “Look, I don’t mean to criticize, but aren’t you supposed to offer me help on my relationship? Like, tell me that a threesome probably won’t work out and that I’m only in this relationship because I feel safe with them?”

            “This threesome almost certainly won’t work out and you’re definitely only in this relationship because you feel safe with them.”

            “That was very helpful,” I snipped. “If that’s all you’ve got, then I’ll just be going,” I said, and started to get up.

            “No, wait, I’m sorry,” she said, holding out a placating hand before tossing her glasses on the desk and rubbing her temples. I sat back down and gave her a moment to collect herself. “I didn’t mean to take this out on you. It’s just that I spent the last hour listening to Xander worry about whether this relationship is going to work out or not, and I really can’t give him any assurances either way.”

            “Can’t you help him work on himself, so he won’t be so dependent on Spike?”

            “If he were human, that would be the first thing I would do. But Xander’s a demon now, and demons need a pack. As a werewolf, you can probably understand how much a demon will go through to be a member of a pack.”

            I nodded somberly, remembering the devouring ache that led me to become an omega. If I left Xander and Spike, how long would it be before that ache returned?

            “Being a part of a pack is crucial to Xander’s mental and physical wellbeing. And, most likely, yours as well.”

            “Is there anything you can do to fix it?”

            “Honestly, there’s only one way I can help. I need Spike.”

            “Like… In a biblical sense?”

            “No!” she said, but this time she laughed. This whole thing was starting to feel a little surreal. “I mean, I need to talk with Spike. If a pack is going to have good dynamics, it needs to have a strong, stable leader. And while I have no doubt that Spike is strong, I don’t think he’s really ready to handle the situation he’s in. I worry that his self-sacrificing ways and his tendency to act impulsively could cause him to do harm to your pack.”

            “Like that thing with fucking my face.”

            “No, that was fine.” I gave her a look of disbelief. “You’re going to have to realize sometime soon that you are not a human any longer, and are no longer subject to their morals or traditions. Spike did not harm you excessively, nor did he attack unprovoked. Yes, he probably needs to work on his temper, but it could be far worse.”

            I guess that made sense. It would certainly explain why the wolf wasn’t upset.

“So… you think that if I get Spike in here to talk to you, you can fix our pack?”

            Jane hesitated and bit her lip.

            “I wasn’t lying earlier when I said that a threesome probably won’t work.”

            “Too many people,” I muttered, feeling deflated.

            “On the contrary, not enough.”

            “Uh… what?”

            “You think you can actually have a werewolf or hyena pack with three members?” Jane asked, leaning back in her seat. “They both need at least six members to have an actual pack, or their instincts kick them into breeding season. That’s probably why you and Xander have both been insatiable lately.”

            “And here I just thought I was irresistible.”

            “A vampire clan, meanwhile, might have as little as two members, but always has an extended family. That is, there are almost always two if not three generations of sires and childes involved in the group.”

            “You mean like Spike and his minions?”

            “No. Minions and even Spikes fledges are not fully vampires. In order to become a vampire will full vampire strength and intelligence it takes years of blood exchange with an already powerful vampire. The minions and fledges were given just enough blood to reanimate them, but not enough to give them a true vampire’s strength or intellect.”

            “Oh.”

            “Spike, of course, is well strong enough to create a childe, but it would invariably be without a soul. Since he is now in possession of his soul, this would be a fruitless effort.”

            “But aren’t Xander and I Spike’s family?”

            “Certainly on an intellectual level you are, but Spike’s vampire could never recognize you, as you are still mortal and will have only a portion of the lifespan is will. A childe is supposed to stay with the sire for at least a century, and then continue to have contact with the sire for several more centuries. A human could never come close. Not to mention the sexual aspects of the relationship. Spike’s reaction to your aggression is, as far as the vampire is concerned, normal and healthy.”

            “Well… it’s not like I really minded…”

            “Meanwhile, Spike’s estrangement from his sire is abnormal and unhealthy for his vampire’s wellbeing.”

            “Uh… I thought Drusilla was dead?”

            That gave Jane pause for a moment, which was not nearly enough time for me to take in everything we’d been talking about.

            “There has been some disagreement over whether Drusilla or Angelus was Spike’s true sire. Regardless, Angel is Spike’s closest family member, it would be natural for him to be in contact with him, especially given the dangerous position he has taken.”

            “But doesn’t Spike hate Angel? And why are you telling me all this? Why not tell Spike and Xander?”

            “Because as I’ve said, I cannot get Spike to talk to me for more than a few moments. I think Spike has some outdated notion that talking to a shrink would be seen as weakness. Beyond that, Xander really does hate Angel, although I think he’d be willing to let his anger go if Angel started treating Spike as a proper childe. From what Xander has told me, it seems like Spike and Angel haven’t bonded as sire and childe since Angel got his soul back a few hundred years ago. That might have been fine while Drusilla was around, but Spike needs family now more than ever.”

            “Look, I would love to get Spike in here so you can straighten all his shit out, but I think you’re seriously overestimating my role in all of this. After all, I’m just a glorified babysitter. Spike just wants me to take care of Xander. I don’t think he’s really got all that much interest in me himself. So, why the hell would he listen to me?”

            Jane paused for a moment, giving me a searching look.

“Maybe you do need to come see me once a week,” Jane said eventually. “Spike and Xander have one thing in common, and it’s that they never do anything in halves. If you’re in their pack, Spike’s already fallen for you. And if you can’t see that, maybe you’re right where you need to be.”


	22. Slipping

            That night, Spike and I made up. Well, I say Spike and I, but really Spike decided to make up with me, and I had very little choice in the matter. He had Xander hold me on his lap while Spike licked his way down my chest and up my thighs, settling down and lapping at my groin for what seemed like hours.

Eventually, when I was sweating and cursing and begging and crying, he let me come, lapping up my hot semen as it splattered all over my belly. And when I was basking in the glow of that overwhelming orgasm, Spike rolled me over and mounted me, settling me over Xander so that I could suck him while Spike’s thick member slipped inside me. I moaned around Xander’s length, letting Xander fist my hair and guide my mouth.

I was absolutely awed to find my cock stirring in interest again already, but Spike’s swift, powerful strokes were hitting something inside me that sent charges right to my groin. I moaned, and it made Xander come, filling my mouth with his hot seed as he growled and arched his back, then pulled out. Laying fully sated beneath me, Xander found the strength to reach up and grasp my rekindling erection, giving it a few languid pumps.

Spike took control then, batting Xander’s hand away and taking my cock in a firm grip. The pace increased, with Spike pounding me, his fist moving in time with his hips. The thrusts became shallower and quicker and I moaned before coming, splattering all over Xander’s stomach. Spike moaned behind me and gave two more strong thrusts before filling me. He held me there a moment before pulling out. I could feel his cum leaking down my thighs as he flopped to the side and I collapsed on top of Xander, smearing us both with semen.

            “I’m gonna need a bath,” were the first words I could muster.

            “I think we’re all gonna need a shower, pet,” Spike said from beside me.

            “In the morning,” Xander grumbled, nuzzling my neck.

            “I’m not smelling you all night, Xan,” Spike growled, pushing him toward the edge of the bed as I crawled off him. “Get going.”

            “Alright, jeeze,” Xander grumbled, rolling out of bed. “I’ll take the first shower, but you better change the damn sheets,” he growled before disappearing into the bathroom.

            “I guess we’d better change his majesty’s sheets,” Spike snarked, opening the chest that kept the extra sheets while I pulled the dirty ones off the bed.

            “I heard that!” Xander yelled from the bathroom, but the sound of water running kept Spike from responding. I just chuckled, and Spike looked at me in surprise.

            “I don’t hear that from you very much, pup. It’s nice.”

            “You two keep fighting like an old married couple and you’ll hear it a lot more often,” I responded.

            “I’m glad…” he said, then hesitated, troubled.

            “What?” I couldn’t help but ask.

            “I was a bit worried yeh’d be upset about…” he turned and began to quickly cover the bed, “about last night. It wasn’t… Eh… It wasn’t something I was hopin’ ta do with you.”

            “But it is how you’d react to Xander doing that?”

            “No! Well… Yeah, maybe. But Xander’s different. The demon’s closer to the surface with him than with you. I don’t want to scare you off.”  
            “Spike,” I said, bringing myself eye to eye with him as he finished with the bed. “You don’t have to treat me like I’m made of eggshells. I’m a demon too, that’s why you wanted me, remember?”

            “Sorry,” he mumbled, but his eyes wouldn’t meet mine.

            “Hey,” I called to him softly, forcing his eyes to meet mine. “Do you want me to be a part of this pack?”

            “Of course I do!” he said, and seemed genuinely offended. “Said so, didn’t I?”

            “Then you can’t treat me like a human,” I said, and it was only then that I realized it was true. I stepped toward him until we were chest to chest. “I’m a demon. I’m you’re demon,” I told him, tilting my head back submissively and letting his breath ghost over my neck. “Treat me like it.”

            I felt his fangs ghost over my flesh like they did when he fucked me and I shivered. I was totally unprepared for the sharp pain of penetration and I gasped, but Spike grabbed my arms to keep me from pulling away. In a moment, the pain faded and a serene sense of lethargy settled over my body. In another moment I sighed, and then my legs buckled beneath me.

            “Shit!” Spike cursed, and I was reminded of his strength scooped me into his arms. He settled onto the bed, holding me in his lap.

            “Oi! What the hell did you do!” I heard Xander snarl, his wet footsteps coming out of the bathroom.

            “I… slipped!” Spike defended.

            “Oh, and your fangs just happened to fall into his neck?”

            “Jesus fuck Xander, what the hell am I supposed to do? He comes up to me and he’s hot and he’s covered in my scent and your scent and he sticks his neck right under my nose- What did you want me to do?”

            “Not bite him without permission! For fuck’s sake, we’ve talked about this! Did you even warn him?”

            Spike’s arms around me had become a cage of steel bars as Xander tore into him, and I finally managed to rouse myself.

            “’S okay,” I mumbled, and Xander finally went silent and stopped his infernal pacing. I blinked blearily up at Spike, who suddenly relaxed. “’M gonna have a headache tomorrow, huh?”

            “Nothin’ a little aspirin won’t fix. The lethargy will fade in a minute. How ya feelin’ pup?”

            “Like a million very sleepy bucks,” I said, yawning and leaning into Spike’s chest as he chuckled. I felt the bed shift as Xander flopped down next to us, his thigh pressing against my leg.

            “You really alright, Oz?” Xander asked, brushing my hair away from my face. “I was gonna talk to you about this later. Sometimes when vampires fuck, they need to bite. We didn’t want to scare you off if you weren’t into it.”

            “It’s okay,” I mumbled again. “Does it always feel like this?”

            “No, if you’re calm when he does it you don’t feel the overwhelming need to take a nap afterwards.”

            “That’s kind of a vampire thing,” Spike put in softly. “If I’m too excited, my body thinks you’re prey and puts you to sleep. If I’m relaxed, it just tingles.”

            “So, I’m prey?”

            “No, pup, you just got me all wound up.”

            “Hm,” I said, because suddenly it was too tiring to talk anymore.

            “Xan, can you start the water? I never get the temp right.”

            I felt the bed shift as Xander padded back to the bathroom. When Xander was out of the room, Spike shifted me so that he could look at my face. I managed to get my eyes open to see him staring worriedly at me. Then they slipped shut again.

            “You sure you’re okay with this, pup?”

            “Would have been nice if you’d warned me, but otherwise it’s okay.”

            “I thought yeh’d be havin’ a freakout between this and… last night.”

            “Mm. It’s okay.”

            “It’s… okay?”

            “Mm-hm.”

            Spike sighed.

            “That’s alright, pup. We’ll talk about it once the lethargy wears off.”

            That managed to annoy me enough to get my eyes open.

            “I’m not just saying this because I’m sleepy, asshole. I know why you made me submit yesterday. I was the omega in a werewolf pack, if you care to remember. You can’t…” I had to stop the revelation to yawn and lean my head back against Spike’s chest. “You can’t treat me like I’m just a human. And I can’t treat this relationship like it’s just about the demons. It’s about both.”

            “I guess it is, pup.”

            Xander was back then, or maybe I drifted off, and they were both very adamant that I get up. I was very adamant that I stay down. I think I probably bit Xander when he tried to shake me awake, but Spike solved the problem by carrying me into the bath. Usually I don’t like to be picked up, but I was just too tired to care.

            The warm spray brought me back to myself, and I came around to Spike and Xander arguing quietly.

            “It’s never had this much effect on me.”

            “I don’t know if you caught this, pet, but you outweigh Oz by a good fifty pounds. You can’t give the same dosage to a Rottweiler and a horse and expect the same results.”

            “Oi,” I muttered grumpily, unable to muster the energy to get offended. I found that I was leaning heavily on Spike and tried to take most of the weight off of him, but ended up stumbling into Xander instead.

            “How much did you take from him?” Xander hissed, the anger covering the worry that was strong enough for me to smell.

            “Only a couple mouthfuls, I swear,” Spike defended, and I felt strong hands scrubbing my back. “Not enough to hurt him. You know me better ‘n that.” There was a warning in Spike’s voice now, that Xander should know better than to think he’d lose control and injure me.

            “Can I go to bed now?” I asked sleepily, trying to diffuse the situation that was growing between them. I really was fine, but I just didn’t have the strength to reassure Xander.

            “In a moment, pet,” Spike said behind me, and suddenly the rag he’d been cleaning me with dipped into my ass. “Just let me finish.”

            When the rag had thoroughly scrubbed my genitals of all sticky or slimy residue, Spike stood and Xander lifted me, carrying me like I weighed nothing back into the bedroom. It made me wonder, almost delirious with lethargy, if I would ever be able to compete with them, and why they had bothered with me in the first place.

            But as they slipped into bed on either side of me, cocooning me in a protective nest, I realized that I was glad that I was with them. Not because I wanted a pack or because I needed their protection, but because I could see that they were both aching for completion as much as I was.

            And I wanted to complete them more desperately than I dared to admit.


	23. Gathering the Family

            In honor of my rescue, Spike decided to try to gather all of the acquaintances from my old life that he could manage. Unfortunately, and morbidly, most of those acquaintances were dead. So Spike brought Dawn home for something of a family reunion. And then he called his only living relative, Angel, and asked him and Wesley, the only two remaining members of the LA gang, to come to the hellmouth for a visit. They were also to bring along Angel’s son, Conner, which surprised the hell out of me because I didn’t know vampires could have children. Which left Spike to launch into a long story about his time with the LA gang, which Xander and I had not been a part of. It was kind of nice, with all Spike and Xander’s shared history, to have Spike tell us a story that the both of us were hearing for the first time.

And so our party total came to seven, and it was sad to say that it was pretty much all that was left of the old crew. But with Buffy and Willow dead and Giles unheard of since the last battle of the hellmouth, that was about it.           

            It was depressing to think about, but the thought of seeing Dawn again brightened my spirits, and I was actually excited as we met her at the airport.

            So I was absolutely horrified to find myself tearing up as I saw her: now a young, confident woman, self-reliant… and alone.

            “It’s okay,” Dawn said, leaning toward me, her blonde hair that was now the exact same color as her sister’s spilling over her shoulders. “It happens a lot with me.”

            “You’re just… so beautiful,” I tried, but she didn’t by it.

            “If only,” she said, winking at me as I got myself under control. “But Xander has already had the horribly awkward conversation that leads me to believe that you wouldn’t notice ever if I were the sexiest girl in the world and I was buck-ass nekkid.”

            “Dawn!” Xander scolded.

            “That’s my girl!” Spike encouraged, then put on an innocent look when Xander glared at him.

            “Is that what they’re teaching you at college?”

            “No, Xander, I’m learning to dot my I’s and cross my T’s too,” she teased, and the way she tilted her head was all Willow and it sent a stab of pain right through my chest. Not surprising that Dawn had picked up some of Willow’s mannerisms, since Willow had helped raise the girl in her formative years, but the simple gesture managed to bring home how very gone she really was. How gone they all were.

            Luckily, I managed to hide the pain better this time, and even managed to quip, “At least they’re stretching your vocabulary,” before Xander was herding us toward the car. And from there it was a heated debate between Spike and Dawn about who was driving us home. They settled on Spike driving them home, and Dawn driving him around in the old pickup truck later. I could only guess that Dawn’s driver’s license was a recent development, despite the fact that she was well of age for it.

            We sat down for a family dinner that night, with Spike cooking up steaks and Dawn managing to put together a decent salad (which, I’m told, was impressive given Dawn’s skill level in food preparation). It was really nice, to sit down and act like normal humans, without feeling like an outsider or a freak in hiding. Dawn took her steak well done, and Xander and I had them rare. Spike nibbled on a medium-well, while sipping a glass of blood. It was so normal, it hurt. It made me feel almost guilty, that we could be so happy, when everyone else was… gone.

            “Oh man, it’s so good to have a home cooked meal!” Dawn gushed, taking a bite of her steak. “I’ve been living on microwave meals and cold poptarts for too long!”

            “Still frying the appliances, eh Dawnie?” Spike asked.

            “Yeah, we’re up to six toasters and three ovens. That old microwave just won’t kick it, though, even if it will only set for two minutes. Managed to fry my alarm clock the other day, which was cool until I missed Ancient Rune Studies. We’re working on my levitation skills, too.”

            “Dawn used to be a magical key,” Xander explained, which didn’t actually make me any less lost about the conversation. “It’s kinda like… in a past life, Dawn was this mystical objects, and when these monks transported her here for Buffy to watch over, she still retained some of the mystical powers.”

            “So far, I can make a green mist and levitate anything smaller than a breadbox a couple inches off the ground, but my telekinetics teacher says I’ll improve. Other than that, it makes electronics hate me.”

            “That’s still better than mine, which causes me to shed all over the furniture once a month.”

            “Oh, hey, yeah! I forgot you were a werewolf. I’ve got a friend in Creature Biology who’s from a long line of werewolves. Maybe he can give you some advice? I don’t think he has any problem around the full moon.”

            “That’s sweet, pet, but let’s see how this full moon works out. We’re thinking Oz might have just needed a pack to let the wolf run with,” Spike said gently, and I was suddenly reminded that the full moon was only nine days away.

            “That’s good, because the werewolf kid at school comes from a really old family, and he’s kind of a snob. Oh, but there’s a mermaid who’s really sweet and she invited me to the beach during summer break.”

            “That’s cool Dawn, but have you made any normal friends?” Xander asked, and Dawn rolled her eyes.

            “Normal is a relative concept. Besides, for a sister of the slayer? This is normal.”

            “I think he meant human, Dawn,” Spike interjected. “You know, any potential husband prospects popping up?”

            “Spike!” Dawn laughed, “I’m way too young to be thinking about marriage!”

            “I don’t know, in my time you would have been married and widowed by now.”

            “Multiple times, if you lived on the hellmouth,” I put in.

            “Can you imagine Buffy in one of those old hoop skirts?” Dawn asked.

            “She’d just line the thing with stakes and then spin every time vamps surrounded her and they’d fly out like a crossbow!” Xander added, and we all laughed.

            The conversation was more subdued after the laughter died, but it kept on a steady pace as we continued to eat. It wasn’t until we were almost finished that a minion darted in and whispered something in Spike’s ear, which caused Spike to roll his eyes and curse.

            “What’s the matter?” Xander wondered, and Dawn and I were eager to hear as well.

            “Nothing,” Spike groused. “The sodding Watcher’s Council sent some wanker to inspect the hellmouth, make sure I’ve got the situation all sorted, but the ponce was supposed to arrive yesterday. Despite the fact that they didn’t tell me they were sending anyone –Or I’d have bloody well told them not to send him from the East, there are dozens of nests of demons that way!- they’re asking that if he doesn’t arrive by tomorrow, I go try to find him. Find the pieces, more like it!”

            “What’s the big problem? Don’t you patrol down there all the time?”

            “Yeah, but I wasn’t gonna patrol tomorrow because I gotta go pick up Angel and Wes. I can’t send the minions since they’d probably just eat the bloke and say he was already dead.”

            “We could go get Angel and Wes,” I offered. I didn’t know the area very well anymore, but I could drive. Surely Spike could give us a map. But Spike shook his head.

            “Conner’s coming on a different plane, since he’s at college too. I was sending you two to pick him up.”

            “Could we split up? You’ve got enough vehicles.”

            “Yeah… We don’t really let Xan drive after the icecream truck incident,” Spike said, casting a sidelong glance at Xander. Dawn giggled and tried to hide it. Xander just looked pissed.

            “Dare I ask what the incident entailed?”

            “Well…” Spike started, but Xander cut him off.

            “Look, I don’t care what the asshole was driving, he cut me off!”

            “Now, love, we’ve talked about this. That was still no reason to run him off the road.”

            “Oz, defend me here. If you cut somebody off and they pull up beside you – even if they may or may not be yelling obscenities – isn’t it customary to at least offer a shrug of apology?”

            “Anyway,” Spike jumped in before I was forced to answer, “since Xander’s demon seems to have a perchance for road-rage, we try to keep him away from the wheel.”

            “Ah. I’ve always found icecream trucks to be a little self-important, but I guess we don’t want it to escalate into the police car incident. So… what should be do?”

            “I could drive,” Dawn put in.               
            “Thanks for the offer pet, but it’s okay.”

            “No, seriously, I could drive. Conner’s coming to the same airport I arrived at since he’s coming from the same direction, right? And I’m betting Angel’s coming to Maple Grove. If Xander and Oz go to Maple Grove, I’ll go get Conner and be back here in no time.”

            “I don’t know, poppet…”

            “Come on, I didn’t get my driver’s license for the pretty photograph. Let me use it!”

            “Alright, I guess we can’t keep you a kid forever. You can go get Conner, I’ll get the wanker, and those two can grab the poof and his sidekick. I guess that’s all settled, then…”

            “No,” Xander put in suddenly.

            “Huh?”

            “Take Oz to go get the Watcher.”

            “Umm… I’m not sure the pup will have more fun with me than with you. I know you don’t like Angel, pet, but he’s not that bad.”

            “It’s not that. It’s… I don’t know… Oz, do you feel it?” he asked, rounding on me.

            “Feel what?”

            “The full moon’s closing in. Don’t you feel the need for some action? The moon doesn’t affect hyenas like it does wolves, but I still feel it when it’s just about to turn.”

            I was feeling antsy, if I admitted it, but I had credited the feeling to a change of environment.

            Spike was nodding thoughtfully, giving me a contemplative look.

            “It’s probably got some merit to get the wolf some violence before the full moon, but he’s not gonna be able to handle having all the minions around. He might attack them instead. You take the pup to get the Watcher, and I’ll go for Angel and Wes.”

            “I guess, but don’t you think he’ll need to get used to the minions eventually? And, I mean, you don’t really need to take the minions…”

            “It’ll be better to have the two demons together,” Spike said, and even Xander seemed to know that the subject was closed. I wondered if this particular avoidance was because of what had happened in the shower the other night, or if this was the original avoidance. It was getting complicated.

            “So does this mean I get to take the DeSoto?” Dawn asked.

            “Uh, no. You’re still stuck with the truck until I know you aren’t going to scratch the paint.”

            “Hey! My driving instructor said I was the most careful parker he’d had all week.”

            “And how did he say you did on your demon-dodging during this test?” Spike asked snidely.

            “I missed 87% of them. Best in my class, thank you.”

            “Uh… Oh.”

            So the next evening found us bidding farewell to Dawn, after she’d gotten her fifth lecture from Spike on keeping her seatbelt on and not stopping for succubae along the road.

            I wanted to spend longer saying goodbye to Dawn, but the moon was on its cusp and, now that I’d been promised a run, I felt it pulling me toward fangs and fur. The wolf was awake and aware, and as reluctant as it was to anger its new packmates, it needed a good stretch. It didn’t help that we hadn’t had sex all day, or that the human part of me was still worried about Spike’s strange avoidance behavior. It really was the perfect solution to the problem for me to go with Xander on a hunt. So even as Spike gave a few last warnings to Xander about the path we needed to take, I was already pulling away and losing my shirt.

            “Always the first to get naked, eh pup?” Spike teased.

            “But certainly not the last,” Xander quipped, losing clothing right behind me. In a moment, I felt fur and flesh meld, and I was the wolf completely. Beside me, Xander had transformed into the hyena, his smiling mouth filled with teeth the size of your finger and able to snap through bones. Spike knelt in front of us, and we could both smell the demon inside of him. We lowered our heads submissively, giving a cursory lick to his jaw as he leaned over and scratched us each behind the ears.

            “Be careful, and keep each other safe,” he said, before backing up and motioning for us to go.

            There was running, then. Lots of running. The beasts like to run, although they prefer to hunt. The terrain wasn’t forest or savannah, which both of us would have preferred, but the demons found something appealing in the burned out buildings and the demolished cars. Something homey about how unclean and unnatural it was. We were in the heart of hellmouth country, beyond the edges that were Spike’s domain where I kept to before now, and I got to see the charred out crater that now took up the entire center of Sunnydale. The smell of evil was so prominent that even the demons began to feel queasy as we skirted the edges, but nothing wanted to mess with a demon as powerful as Xander. Luckily for me, I think most of the demons in the area had decided that I was his pet, because they left me alone as well.

            The moon was high by the time we scented humans, and with only a sliver of its surface covered it reminded me that tomorrow night and the two night beyond I would be completely in its grasp. By this point I had no fear that Spike and Xander couldn’t contain me, but I still shivered as I felt its pull. Xander must have noticed, because he brushed his shoulder along mine and nuzzled my muzzle. It brought me out of my trance and I led the way down a hillside of rubble and toward the scent of the two terrified humans, who here holed up in the standing part of an old garage. While the cinderblocks of the structure were too thick for the low-level demons that scavenged the wasteland to penetrate, the cargo doors were made of thin sheets of metal, and Xander and I could see where the sheeting had been gouged through. There was a circle of lizard and insect-like demons around the opening, all pushing to get through the small hole.

Xander and I had been running side-by-side as we approached the structure, but I held back as we neared and allowed Xander to jump into the middle of the fray. The creatures scattered, those closest to the building ducking inside and the rest scuttling under the nearby rubble. Xander caught a demon that looked like an iguana by the tail and disemboweled it as a warning to the others, getting splattered with purple blood for his troubles. I dodged past Xander into the building, with Xander following after he was certain the rest of the demons had dispersed and weren’t going to surround us after we’d gone inside.

The humans, we quickly found, had found refuge in the garage when their truck had been hit by a blob of what appeared to be acid, which had eaten right through the motor. They had probably made it through the daylight hours because most of the demons wouldn’t attack during the day, and had prepared for night by creating a fortress of overturned cars, complete with a stack four cars high in the corner that the two were now perched on top of, picking off demons with a crossbow and a rifle. I had to assume that the two had used the winch system on the ceiling to move the cars, because neither of them looked brawny enough to move or throw cars.

It was apparent, however, that the two were running out of ammo, as the female of the two hurled her crossbow at a giant cockroach that was scaling the side of their tower and the male used the butt of his rifle to knock it back down the pile. The two were too preoccupied with the cockroach, however, to notice the snake-monster with a human body picking its way across the beams of the ceiling and near striking distance of the humans. Xander was on that one, leaping over me and bounding over the wreckage before jumping up the side of the car-tower and using that as leverage to leap at the snake, which he grabbed by the throat and pulled to the ground. I watched the snake writhe until I was sure it was dying in Xander’s jaws before I tackled the cockroach, which had been trying to climb toward the humans again, and crunched its head off of its thorax. The rest of the demons scattered for the exit, the snake monster apparently begin the ringleader of the gang, and I only had to fend off a massive spider before the building was clear of threats. Xander and I exchanged looks of congratulations, because we still hadn’t learned to speak in the same language, and slowly mounted the tower toward the awaiting humans.

Which is when the one main flaw in this plane became evident, mainly being that we both still looked very much like the monsters that had been trying to eat them, and the humans were just as scared of us as they had been of the vermin. This became evident as the male, who was an older man that my wolf mind couldn’t seem to place even though I was pretty sure I knew him from somewhere, took a swing at Xander with his rifle and almost fell off the pile of cars for his trouble. It became evident, then, that the two would most likely hurt themselves in their efforts to get away from us, so we slowly backed down from the tower and sat down a few feet away.

Which is when being able to communicate with each other would have been very handy, but we had unfortunately not managed that skill yet. So here’s a rough translation of our conversation.

Xander gives me a look that says, “ _What are we supposed to do now?”_

I give Xander a shrug that means, “ _I haven’t the foggiest idea.”_ Then I give a pointed look to the structure their on top of, “ _But we can’t approach them in this form.”_

Xander gives a sigh that translates to, “ _I was afraid you’d say that,_ ” and then slinks behind one of the overturned cars.

He reappears a second later as a fully-nude human, hidden from the waist down by the tangled carcass of a 1978 Beetle.

“Alright, everybody who’s going to Master Vampire Central, let’s get moving! Please do not fear your furry friends, they are here for your protection.”

“Xander?” comes a thick British accent from the top of the car pile. “Good lord, it is you!”

“Giles! How did you get here?”

“I’m the Watcher’s Council’s emissary. Our guide told us that this would be the safest route to reach the Master of Sunnydale, but he turned out to be a goblin.”

“Yeah, you probably would have been better off asking Spike directly for an audience.”

“Spike? _Spike_ is the Master of Sunnydale? I should have sent a fruit basket and a bottle of whiskey. Spike? Really?”

He seemed kind of perturbed about this as he descended the tower of cars, the mousey-looking girl following behind him.

“Forgive my manners, this is Ann Hartworth, she’s a specialist on containing portals to hell dimensions. Ann, this is Xander Harris, a former student of mine.”

“I’d shake your hand, but I’m kinda… nude… right now,” Xander pointed out. “Speaking of which, I should really change back if want to get through the hellmouth before daybreak. It calms down after the sun comes up, but I don’t really want to stay still long enough to give the crawlies outside a chance for a second attack. By, the way, say hello to Oz, who happens to be my backup in this little rescue mission.”

“Oz? Is that you?” Giles asked, taking an interest in me for the first time since he’d climbed down the tower. Up close, I could see that his clothes were tattered and it seemed like it’d been a couple days since he’d eaten or slept. I mentally slowed down the pace we’d have to use to get them home. “I didn’t know you could go into a full wolf form. Fascinating,” he said, and I huffed because there was really nothing else I could say in this form.

While Giles was occupied with me, Xander had turned back into the hyena, and now butted against Giles’ leg to get him moving out the door. We tried to keep the two at a brisk pace as we moved toward home, but the adrenaline of fear was fading now that we had come to protect them, and where it had taken Xander and I half an hour to get down to the hellmouth, it took us two hours to get back home. The only upside of this was that by the time we returned to the hotel, everyone was too tired for a lengthy reunion. Giles, of course, hugged Dawn like he’d have to be pried off her. And Spike had to rib Angel a bit about Conner and Dawn (“Oi! Keep your whelp away from my girl!”) who were obviously flirting. At some point, Giles must have realized the nature of Xander and my relationship with Spike (“For the love of god, Spike, are there any of my students you haven’t shagged?”) but later he assured Xander that he understood Xander would choose Spike, and he was fine with the relationship (“With an upbringing on the hellmouth and your subsequent possession by the demon, you could have done far worse than Spike. I’d say far better, as well, but you’re old enough to decide that for yourself.”) And of course there was the necessary explanation for Wesley being blue (“Well, you see, I actually would have died a while ago, but the demi-goddess Illyria gave her life to me. Only we didn’t know at the time that she was giving me her life-force and her powers. Thus the blue, the magical powers, and the elongated lifespan. It’s actually very fascinating.”) But after that, everyone pretty much shook hands and headed for bed.

Settling down between Spike and Xander that night, I realized that the wolf had never felt this calm before a full moon, and I wondered if it was from the violence of today or the fact that I’d finally settled into my pack.


	24. Under the Full Moon

“Twas the night before the full moon, and all through the mansion,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a minion.

The vampires were tucked in their coffins with care

While visions of slaughter danced through the air.

And out in the yard there awaited the prowl,

A werewolf and hyena, ready to howl.”

“Hyena’s don’t howl,” Xander protested.

“Pet, did you just make that up off the top of your head?” Spike asked, looking impressed or appalled, I couldn’t really tell.

“It seemed fitting.”

“It’s bloody July! It’s 84 degrees out.”

“Not the season, just the… mood. Don’t tell me you can’t feel it about this full moon.”

“It’s not the moon, pup, it’s you.”

“Huh?”

“You’re finally safe and with a pack. I kin only hazard a guess, but I’d say this moon is missing the dread that you usually face them with. ‘M I close?”

I couldn’t help but think he was right, as I looked out over the sprawling mass of forest that was quickly overcoming the remains of Sunndale downtown. The sun had begun to set, and the wolf was wagging its tail, wanting me to prance around Xander and Spike. I held my body still with supreme effort of my human mind, a small, last rebellion before the wolf took over. Spike hung back under the canopy of the porch, waiting for the last rays of sunlight to venture forth. My poem had lied about the minions; they weren’t sleeping, they had merely been told not to leave the castle for the duration of the full moon. Not a small feat for a monster on the full moon, but they all had enough fear of Spike to obey.

My senses were heightened, and I could hear the others chatting upstairs, but I was glad Spike had warned them to stay back. I knew that Spike and Xander could control me if something went wrong, but I was glad I didn’t have to chance it.

Angel came down the stairs then, and I was surprised to find that the wolf wanted to approach him too, if a little more cautiously than the others. I suppose the wolf saw him as something of an alpha as well, but not a rival one. I kept myself in check, and stayed by Xander watching the sunset.

Xander bristled as Angel descended. Even though Angel was Spike’s sire, Xander couldn’t get over his dislike of the guy. I don’t know if it was the original competition for Buffy’s attention, the potential competition for Spike’s attention, or simply the way Angel treated Spike that set Xander off.

Because Spike treated Angel as an alpha, but Angel treated Spike with… disdain. It wasn’t obvious to a human, but to the wolf it was plain. Spike would come and posture submissively, but Angel would pass right by. If Spike postured dominantly, Angel would snarl and snap. I could see how frustrated Spike was, being unsure of his position with someone as important as his sire.

Wesley sauntered up to the two of us, and it still took me a moment to adjust to his frigid skin and his icy blue hair. The wolf responded to him as a packmate, and I found myself sliding up beside him before I could stop myself. It was hard to adjust to the idea of Wesley being part demi-god, and adjustment made no easier by the fact that Wesley was still just as awkward and socially inept as he ever was.

“I hear it’s the first night of the pull of the moon tonight,” Wesley mentioned. His lips were silver, and it gave him the appearance of being frozen even as he smelled of life and radiated heat. He was trying to act nonchalant, but I could tell he wanted to impress us. It was obvious from the smell on him (not to mention the single room) that he and Angel were a couple now. I suppose Spike, and by extension Xander and I, was the closest thing Angel had to family. Was this weekend a vampiric meet-the-parents?

“Nah, I heard Jennifer Lopez got turned into a Boretz demon, and she’s giving a concert after dark.”

“Umm… Really?”

“No, relax man,” I teased, and Xander chuckled beside me.

“Seriously, we only bite if you ask,” Xander said, and it made Wesley blush, causing his face to turn a light purple.

“If you stay out here much longer, we might nip a bit,” I warned. Wesley seemed glad for the distraction.

“It’s okay, I’m strong enough to handle my own if you attack me.”

“I don’t…” I said, then hesitated. The moon was coming, and the wolf wanted to… play. “I don’t think the wolf will hurt you. But we play kinda rough.”

“So does Angel,” Wesley said, and then blushed to the roots of his hair when he realized how that sounded. “I didn’t… I don’t mean…”

“Wesley, you dog!” Xander crowed, laughing and patted him on the back before jumping the railing and striding into the yard.

“I’m bolloxing this whole thing, aren’t I?” Wesley wondered out loud. I took pity on him.

“Despite the fact that you’ve yet to realize that Xander and I are both fucking Spike, and thus are going to have no problems with your relationship with Angel, you’re otherwise doing pretty well.”

And then I jumped the railing as well, leaving a shellshocked Wesley gaping after me from the porch. Xander pounced on me as I hit the grass, knocking me over and rolling us until we hit the wreckage of a car. Laughing, he helped me to my feet.

“Are you sure you should have told that to Wesley?”

“He’d have figured it out eventually.”

“Nn… I don’t know…” Xander said, casting a glance at Wesley on the porch, who hadn’t moved since I jumped the railing.

“Okay, point taken, but I still think he needed to know. There’s no point in letting him walk on eggshells while he’s here because he thinks the demons in a threesome are gonna throw fire and brimstone because he’s with Angel.”

“Still… do you think we need to reboot him or something?” Xander asked and I rolled my eyes. It was Angel that jolted Wesley out of it, sliding up beside him and asking what was wrong. Wesley shook his head and smiled, and I could see how comfortable the two were together. Whatever had gone on in their pasts, and from what Spike said it was an awful lot, had obviously been put behind them.

Spike came down to join us, and I took the time to ask him once more if everything was ready.

“For the seventeenth time, pet, everything’s good to go. Giles and the lady are already outside the city limits, probably boarding a plane right now, ready to tell the Watchers Council that I’ve got everything under control and to sod off. We’ve got the brats tucked in for a sleepover on the third floor, and minions guarding every floor between us and them. That’s even assuming the wolf has any interest in them, and that you can get past all of us, which is highly unlikely. The brats are in more danger from each other than from us, especially given the way they were fightin’ over that vid.”

“I still don’t like leaving them alone together,” Angel said as he approached us. “I know how kids are at that age, are you sure we shouldn’t send up a chaperone?”

“They’re in college, oh high and prudish one,” Spike said, rolling his eyes. “They can’t get into any more trouble up there than they could in their dorms.”

“Conner has an all-boys dorm.”

“Then given the state of the company he keeps, I’d say his virtue is a lot safer with Dawn than at his school.”

“What are you trying to say about my son?” Angel growled, taking offence.

“Just that maybe the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” Spike sneered, and they were back to the posturing thing again. Spike gets Angel all riled up and…

“Fuck off, Spike,” Angel spat.

…Angel backs right back down, choosing to ignore the conflict instead of establish a hierarchy. But there wasn’t time to fully delve into their family issues.

“Guys!” I called as the moon finally crested over the horizon. “Now would be a good time to…!” and I couldn’t form the rest.

Because the wolf had control, and it wanted to play.

The wolf wasn’t vicious this time, wasn’t filled with fear and loneliness. This was home, and this was pack. I could see this time, where before it had only been a haze of pain and fear. And the wolf was… happy.

Xander transformed with me and I leapt at him, knocking him over in the wolf’s exuberance. He grinned and laughed, that hyena chuckle that I’d gotten used to by now. We nosed each other, sniffing and licking, with Xander paying special attention to the genitals, as the hyena was wont to do. Spike was next, kneeling down to accept our adoration. As the alpha, he did not have to respond to our attentions, but he reached out and stroked me behind the ears anyway.

“Putting on weight, pup,” Spike said, and the wolf didn’t understand the words but he understood praise. “Gonna be as big as Xander soon.”

Xander, who could still understand the words, let out a chilling laugh and butted Spike’s hand for attention. “Greedy brat,” Spike scolded, stroking his head just behind those massive jaws.

Wesley approached then, still too overcome by Xander’s appearance to keep his curiosity at bay, and he knelt a few feet away from us. Angel was quick to come beside him, standing over him in a protective manner that screamed alpha.

Xander and I approached Wesley first, and we could smell the anxiousness on him, not fear that he would be harmed, but worry about how the situation would go in general. We sniffed him first, scenting both him and Angel on his body, but also the familiar smell of the rest of us. Xander approached first, having a bit of a soft spot for Wesley as a fellow underdog, and butted his head against Wes’s chest. Wesley was eager with his affections, immediately caressing Xander’s face and neck, allowing Xander to rub their cheeks together. It was a sign to the wolf that Wesley was not an alpha and was not going to compete for a place in the pack, and it made the wolf immediately approach, shouldering Xander out of the way to give and receive affection with this new member of the pack.

This time, though, Xander waited for me to finish greeting Wesley before moving on to the next member, as Angel was the only one left who hadn’t been introduced. Xander was cautious as I finished with Wesley and turned to Angel, but he seemed to relax as Angel knelt down next to his mate. I was the first to approach, sniffing Angel all over before submissively lapping at his fingers. Xander wasn’t far behind, giving Angel a more thorough once over before bending his head submissively and letting Angel stroke his ears. It wasn’t as exuberant as Wesley’s, but Angel smiled as Xander butted his hand with his massive head, and I could tell that the hyena was more relaxed now that a hierarchy with Angel had been established.

And now that the pack had been completely accounted for, the wolf let out a tremendous howl and it was time for play. Xander laughed loudly, startling Wesley and Angel both, and then lunged at me. We tussled, rolling in the leaves, as the three other packmates closed in.

“Should we stop them?” Wesley asked.

“Nah, let ‘em have a bit of a romp. They’ll go hunting after a bit, but the pups play a bit to warm up.”

“They certainly play rough,” Wesley commented, but there was no fear coming off of him.

“We warned you. If ya don’t think yeh can handle it…”

“There’s nothing they can do that I can’t handle,” Wesley said defensively, and this was apparently Xander’s cue to include him in the play.

Xander jumped at Wesley then, grabbing his arm in his jaws and knocking him to the ground, but instead of being injured like a normal human, Wesley merely rolled with Xander and flipped him off, with Xander releasing his hold on Wesley’s arm before his teeth could do more than tear his shirt. I stood near Angel and Spike, watching the two tussle and waiting for the opportunity to join in.

“It’s like family,” I heard Angel say, a wistful tone in his voice that made the wolf pause in its play and turn to look at him. “Like old times… well, like they should have been.”

It had made Spike pause too, I saw, and he had the strangest, most intense look on his face as he stared at Angel watching Wesley and Xander play. For a moment even the wolf was puzzled, but the complexities of the human mind were too confusing for it, and it quickly lost interest.

And the last thing I saw before the wolf returned to play was Spike staring at Angel and wishing for something.

But what?


	25. Tag-Team

By the time the full moon ended, we were all exhausted. The teenagers had headed back to college a day earlier with promises to return over Christmas break. It had been something of a relief to see them go, as much as we would all miss them, because being up all night with the wolf and then being up all day to make sure the two adventurous teens didn’t get in over their heads was almost more than I could manage. It was like babysitting in Hell. Literally. And even though Angel had been quick to point out that both Conner and Dawn had supernatural capabilities, neither he nor Spike felt safe letting them go anywhere without an escort. Which was a pain in the ass, when both young adults were bound and determined to shake their babysitters. By the second day, we had Wesley cook up a spying spell and camped out in the den, nursing various alcoholic drinks and watching the two on the flat-screen.

So while we missed them when they left, having them around was just too stressful. Beyond that, having them around had brought a grinding halt to my sex life, and at the time of the month when I was especially virile was driving me crazy.

But how to go about getting laid? Spike and Xander were both too exhausted to be interested in initiating sex, and the wolf had no idea how to initiate sex. It was more than happy for a good cuddle with the alphas, but the human in me was feeling hard up.

Would strolling across the room buck naked be enough to get the point across? But Xander walked around naked pretty much any time he could get away with it, so maybe that wouldn’t even be enough. Could I be more direct?

“Penny for your thoughts, pup,” Spike asked, still sprawled out, fully dressed, on the bed, while I was perched at the foot.

“Just trying to figure out how to get you to fuck me.”

            It was out of my mouth before I had time to edit, and Spike chuckled as he crawled toward me.

            “Askin’ would probably help,” he said, pulling me down to curl around him. The beta in me was happy with the affection, and immediately nuzzled his neck. He stroked my hair, his hand sliding down the back of my head to settle on the base of my neck, right above my pulse. Then he suddenly shook himself, and pulled back. “But I’m supposed to be patrolling tonight. Was supposed to be gone half an hour ago, actually.”

            He pulled away and started to rise then, but I snagged his arm before he could get out of reach.

            “Stay,” I asked, and this time it was all human, the wolf fading to the background.

            “Pup… I’d love to, but I can’t just let it go. I can’t have the minions pullin’ shite because I’m not there.”

            “The fledges can handle the patrol for one night. It’s been quiet since the full moon anyway.”

            “I don’t really like to send all the fledges out on patrol, in case something happens here,” he hedged.

            “Why is it that every time I get close to you, you run off? Is it something about me?” I wondered quietly, and Spike had the grace to look pained.

            “Pup… it’s… it’s not….”

            “Hey, what’s goin’ on?” Xander asked, bounding into the room. He’d been downstairs getting himself an after-breakfast, pre-lunch snack. Spending time in his hyena form made him absolutely ravenous, and Spike had already had to send for more groceries twice.

            “Spike’s leaving us again,” I said, knowing that would get Xander in a bad mood right off. Spike frowned because he knew it too.

            “Now, pet, you know how this goes. There’s no point in getting upset,” Spike cajoled, but Xander wasn’t buying it.

            “Yeah, it’s fine, just run the fuck off again,” Xander snapped, tossing himself down on the bed beside me. “We’ll just sit around here with our thumbs up our asses and wait for you to come back.”

            “Xan, you know I don’t want to go…”

            “So why the hell are you? The world isn’t going to fall apart because you stay with us one night. What are you so afraid of?” Xander snarled, and Spike fell back a step at the question, but recovered before Xander could notice. I noticed, though, and couldn’t help but wonder at it.

            “Alright! Alright! I’ll stay in!” he surrendered angrily, then stormed off to inform the fledges that they’d be going out alone.

            “We’re getting good at this,” Xander commented when he was out of earshot.

            “Good at what?” I asked.

            “Tag teaming him. Don’t tell me you didn’t script that whole fight,” he said, grinning.

            “An omega wolf like me would never be capable of such treachery.”

            And then Spike was storming back in, pissy but not really angry.

            “So what are we gonna do all night that’s so important that I missed patrol?” he huffed. I saw Xander’s hackles rise, but I knew better than to let Spike goad us into a fight.

            “Well, we could play charades,” I said, turning around and leaning on my elbows, presenting my jean-covered ass. “Or we could fool around.”

            “I know which one I’m for!” Xander crowed, giving me a kiss while presenting his ass to Spike in the same manner.

            “For fuck’s sake, pets, how am I supposed to stay pissed with this view?” Spike growled, but laid a hand on both of our asses, kneading the flesh through the fabric.

            “You can’t resist this much sexiness!” Xander teased.

            “No, I certainly can’t,” Spike said, but didn’t sound too disappointed. Instead, he gave Xander and I a shove, making us both fall onto the bad, and then he mount me, grinding his growing erection against my ass.

            “Don’t think I’ll be played this easily every time, pup,” Spike growled, his breath ghosting over the back of my neck as he spoke. “I know you were the mastermind behind this whole scenario. You played your cards well, this time.”

            “Couldn’t have been that well played, considering you both saw right through it,” I groused, but I hadn’t been trying to hide it very hard.

            “We just know you better than anyone else,” came Xander’s voice, and I turned my head to see him relaxing beside me on his side, his head propped on his elbow, watching Spike and I interact.

            “Mm, inside and out,” Spike added, and I felt him grab the back of my jeans in his fist, and that was all the warning I got before he jerked them off my hips, popping the button before pulling them to my knees. His fingers were in me then, dancing around my hole but not yet seeking entrance. I groaned, feeling myself harden in preparation.

            “You want it, pup?” Spike asked me, his voice deep and ragged. I whined again, but it wasn’t enough for him. “Tell me you want it, wolf. Tell me you want my prick in you.”

            “I want it,” I pleaded, my wolf immediately responding to Spike’s dominance, but even the human part of me felt a thrill at his commands. “I want you to fuck me with your big cock.”

            Spike chuckled.

            “Didn’t know you’d be so submissive when I wound you up. Maybe I need to keep you hard all the time, and then you’ll listen to me without making trouble.”

            “No, I’d make trouble for you all the time. I’d never let you be until I was satisfied. And I doubt even you could inspire fear with a naked, horny werewolf draped all over your lap.”

            Spike laughed outright this time, rewarding me with a kiss to the back of the neck.

            “Can’t have that,” he said, opening his fly and then grinding his naked erection against my ass. I moaned again and heard something shuffle in front of me, and then Xander’s naked erection was bobbing in my face.

            “I was feeling left out,” Xander protested. I licked the tip of his shaft, sending a shiver through his body, but before I could do any more Spike had grabbed me around the hips and lifted us both, settling me over Xander. I shivered at the foreign feeling of the soft skin of another man’s dick pressed against mine, somehow feeling that this was a far more perverse act than the dick pressing against my ass.

            “You look fuckin’ hot as the center of this sandwich,” Spike told me, and I could feel the proof in the rigid shaft pressed against me.

            “How come I always have to be on bottom of the sandwich? How come we never have a gushy Xander-filled sandwich?” Xander complained.

            “Because you’d crush Oz, that’s why,” Spike shot back.

            “Oi, I’m not that small,” I protested, but found it hard to get offended while I was this turned on.

            “Whelp, you’re not small in all the right places,” Spike complimented, but I wasn’t certain his opinion was an unbiased. He grabbed the lube from beside the bed and set it on the mattress, open. He dipped his fingers into the jar, slicking his cock quickly before put the tip against my hole, pressing me down once again until I was flush against Xander’s chest. Spike pushed in slowly, careful because he had not slicked my entrance, but my body yielded to him easily and I groaned, waiting only a moment before bucking against him and demanding more. He obliged, pulling me up until I was on my hands and knees, still straddling Xander. With room now between Xander and I, Xander reached into the lube jar and coated his fingers, then grabbed my cock and his in his hand and began to stroke them together as Spike began to fuck me from behind.

            With Spike taking me from behind and Xander stroking me from below, it wasn’t long before all I could do was ride out the waves of their lust. Xander came first, even though he was receiving the least stimulation. Still, the beast within Xander was strong, and the scent of sex in the air was so prevalent that it overcame him, and he splashed seed all over my stomach before releasing his cock and continuing to stroke mine.

            Spike, meanwhile, continued to pound me from behind, jerking my hips to meet his quick, punishing thrusts. I moaned and Spike pulled me into his arms so that I was sitting up as Spike bounced me on his cock. I threw my head back and he nuzzled my neck. That was all the warning I got before Spike sank his teeth into my neck, and the sharp stab of pain followed by the feel of his venom running through my veins sent me over the edge, and I came with a shout, spraying Xander with my seed. Spike came a moment later, filling my body with his seed and wrapping his arms around me like a steel cage as he took one last draught from my neck. When his orgasm ended he released me, giving one last lick to close the wounds on my neck before letting me fall in a boneless heap with Xander.

            And when I looked back up at him, amber eyes met mine. He had drawn his demon out, and a thin trail of my blood dripped down his chin. But instead of looking fierce, as his demon usually did, he simply looked… lost. His hands were at his side and I saw them flex, his arms going rigid as thought he was going to reach for me and held back. His eyes were desperate, too wide and darting, like a caged animal. For a moment, I was frightened he would attack me.

            And then he was gone, darting from the bed mumbling something about checking on the patrol and fleeing the room without even dressing. Xander growled beneath me, too sated to go after him but pissed none the less.

            “Fuck him, if his patrol is that fucking important,” he snarled, and then promptly fell asleep.

            I briefly entertained the idea of following Spike, but rejected it for the same reason one would not corner a wild animal. Still, snuggled in Xander’s arms with my cheek pressed against the warm skin of his chest, I couldn’t get Spike’s eyes out of my head. Even long after Xander had fallen into an exhausted slumber, I stayed awake, those burning yellow eyes glowing in the dark room. If only I could tell what made them fill with such longing and sadness.

            I stayed up late into the night waiting for Spike, but he did not return. Instead I fell asleep wondering what demons haunted Spike’s dreams.

And wondering if the two that haunted his bed would be able to slay them.


	26. A Taste of Family

The next day, Spike and Angel fought.

It wasn’t a physical battle. That would have worried me a lot less, all things considered. A physical fight would have been a relief, because it would have established the hierarchy that the two alphas were obviously missing.

Instead, Spike called Angel off to the side, and later I found them yelling.

“You owe me this, ya fuckin’ poofter!” Spike shouted, trying and failing to keep Angel from coming out of the meeting room than Xander and I had recently renovated. I halted my steps, unwilling to get between the two fighting alphas.

“I don’t owe you a damned thing, Spike! Fuck off! I’m not doing the ceremony. You want the rite, do it yourself!”

“I fucking can’t, and you know it!”

“Then I guess you’re shit out of luck, aren’t you!” Angel snarled. The fight escalated as Spike grabbed Angel by the shirt and pulled them nose to nose.

“You’re the fucking sire, asshole. You’ve got a coven to look out for, you’ve got responsibilities. It’s fucking time you stepped up and acted like it!” Spike hissed in Angel’s face, but Angel wasn’t intimidated. Instead, he pried Spike’s fingers out of his shirt and then threw Spike into the wall across the hall (damaging the plaster that Xander and I had _just_ installed) where Spike crumpled in a heap.

“There is no coven. There’s just you, Spike. And I don’t owe you anything.”

And then Angel left, leaving Spike in a crumpled heap on the floor. Spike glared as Angel walked away, and the blood dripping down Spike’s face accented the hateful glare he was sending to his retreating sire.

All in all, it struck me as a bit harsh.

Was it merely a family scuffle? I couldn’t help but wonder. I didn’t know much about vampires, but sometimes werewolf scuffles looked a lot more damaging than they actually where. But then, werewolves didn’t really speak the same way that vampires could. There wasn’t that level of understanding and mental anguish that one could have in a vampire conversation. And add to that a souled vampire, and things could get awfully complicated.

I rounded the corner then, acting as though I had just stumbled onto Spike, who wasn’t buying it.

“Heard ya comin’ up the hallway about ten minutes ago, pet,” Spike told me as I knelt to help him up. Instead, he pulled me down to sit on his lap in the pile of broken plaster bits, his face still dripping blood all the way to his shoulder. “How much of that did you catch?” he asked me.

“Just the part where Angel was being a dick.”

“Ah. So, the whole thing then, huh?”

“Might have missed a bit off the beginning. What was that thing you were asking him about? The rite?”

“Nothing important,” Spike hedged, laying his chin on my shoulder, careful not to drip blood on me. “Doesn’t matter now, the ponce will never do it. Was a long shot anyway, but I guess I’ll know better than to ask that prick about anything.”

“It sounded kind of important,” I prodded, but Spike wouldn’t continue. Instead, he tilted my head and gently placed a kiss against the pulse in my neck.

“Have I told you how good you’ve been for Xander?” he asked me, and his tone lightened, but there was something heavy about his words that set me on edge. “How much better he’s been since you got here. How much happier and more stable. He’s thinking about cutting back on his meds, because you’ve got him so balanced.”

“It’s kind of a group effort, don’t you think?’ I quipped, trying to turn to face him, but he wouldn’t let me. “I mean, he’s still basically attached at the hip to you.”

“I know,” he said, after a pause. “But before it was like I was his everything. I knew he wouldn’t be able to survive without me, because I was his world. But now you’re here, and he’s feeling safe and happy even when I’m not around.”

“You’re not… are you jealous?”

“No,” Spike said, then chuckled. “’Course not, pup. I wanted this. I wanted Xander… independent. I wanted him to be okay without me, without this dried-up husk of a vampire tying him down. ‘S why I got you. Because I knew you’d help him be himself again, so that he wouldn’t need me.”

“I don’t know where you’re going with this. I know…” I started, then paused and tried to get my words together. The entire conversation was unnerving me. “I know I haven’t been here very long, and I know you and I aren’t close, but you are definitely needed here. Xander needs you. I… need you,” I admitted, and it shocked him enough that he finally let me turn around and face him. His eyes where icy blue, and I suddenly realized how lonely they always looked. So cold and tormented. “Neither of us would know what to do without you.”

And staring into those cold and lonely blue eyes, I suddenly realized… he didn’t believe me.

“C’mon pet,” Spike said then, pushing me off his lap and brushing himself off. “Let’s go find Captain Hairdo and get his knickers untwisted,” he joked trying to lighten the mood. “Can’t have him stormin’ about the castle, broodin’ up the place.”

And then he was off, trying to outrun whatever it was that I’d gotten too close to.

But eventually… these things always catch up.

“So you guys are thinking of driving back to LA?” Xander asked around a mouthful of spaghetti at dinner.

“Yeah,” Wesley replied, unconcerned by Xander’s lack of table manners. I kept a close eye on him though, offering him a plate of salad when he finished the spaghetti even though I knew he wanted more pasta. The hyena, though, tended to gorge itself whenever there was meat available, even mixed with something else. The salad would slow Xander down because the hyena didn’t really like it. Over Xander’s shoulder, Spike nodded approvingly at me before turning back to the conversation. “We flew down on short notice, but flying is actually kind of a pain for vampires.”

Angel made a sour face.

“I had to ride in a box,” he grumbled. Welsey gave him a sympathetic look, but Spike smirked.

“What? Not being backed by a multi-billion-dollar, inter-dimensional company anymore? No more private jets with tinted windows?”

“What about the one we used?” Xander asked helpfully.

“Was on loan from Liline,” Spike replied. “Guess you’re just gonna have to ride home cargo.”

“It’s okay, we’ve found a place in the city that rents cars with uv-protected windows, for people with ‘sensitive skin.’ We’ll need a ride in tomorrow to pick up the car, and then it’s only about three hours to our base in LA. Actually,” Wesley paused, throwing a questioning glance at Angel. “We wanted to invite you all to come out to our base and take a look around.”

“Oh man, road trip? I’m totally in!” Xander spouted, throwing an excited glance to me and Spike.

“Don’t know how much of a road trip it will be driving three hours, but I’m in for a change of scenery,” I agreed. “Spike?”

“I can’t leave the minions for that long,” he said, shaking his head. “There’s a nest of Klugarr eggs about to hatch. We took out the parents, but I’ve been hunting the nest all week and still can’t find it.”

“The minions should be able to handle some baby Klugarr demons,” Angel countered, his brow creasing in a scowl as he looked at his wayward childe.

“Caught a half a dozen parents, so we’re thinking there are gonna be well over a hundred eggs. And you know what happens if even one of the babies gets loose. I’d better stay and oversee. There’s no reason Oz and Xan can’t go, though. As long as Oz agrees to drive the car back, that is.”

“I don’t know…” Xander put in, hesitating at the idea of leaving Spike behind. It spoke volumes that he hadn’t immediately grabbed Spike by the collar and hid him in the basement when the idea was presented.

“You’ll be fine, pet,” Spike soothed. “Besides, Oz will be there to keep you out of trouble. Think of it as a test of your new-found stability,” Spike challenged, and I knew then that Xander and I would be going. If there was one thing Xander could not take from Spike, it was a challenge.

Still…there was something off about Spike’s smile when he gave his approval. Something just not right about the way he nonchalantly said that we could go, like it was so desperately nonchalant that it was screaming. Whether it was screaming for us to go or for us to stay, though, I couldn’t say. And with Xander bouncing in his seat beside me and a chance to get off of the hellmouth for a day and back into the city – with people and shops and pizza deliveries and electricity that wasn’t pumped from a noisy generator two doors down – I overlooked my feelings and nodded.

“That’s great!” Wesley chimed. “We were going to leave in a few hours… would that be too short of notice? We wanted to get the rental and start driving before sunup, and then drive all day. That way Angel won’t have to sneak through to sewers to get to the rental place. The rental shop opens at four for their sensitive customers, and sunup isn’t until five, so if you guys could be packed by three-thirty we should be able to make it.”

“Sounds like plenty of time,” Spike answered, and his words were even, but the weird vibe still hadn’t faded. Was I being paranoid? Or was it werewolf senses trying to get through to a complex human brain?

Dinner dissolved into conversation about shopping malls and Cineplex’s as Xander and Wesley conversed about the trip and the subsequent overnight stay in LA and the homecoming trip the next day during which Xander and I would return the rental car. Spike was quiet, but not abnormally so, and I found my strange feeling being pushed to the back of my mind as Xander and Wesley got excited about the visit. We finished dinner fairly quickly, with Xander and me hurrying off to pack for our overnight stay. There wasn’t much to throw together, and my main concern was getting Xander’s meds in order (which was, unsurprisingly, the least of Xander’s worries as he agonized over which pajamas to bring). I hardly grabbed anything else save a toothbrush and a change of clothes. It didn’t really seem like that big of a deal.

After all, it was only one night.

I finished packing the duffle bag Xander had tossed at me, making sure Xander’s meds were secure in the inner pocket, when I felt Spike behind me. I’d gotten used to him walking so quietly that even a werewolf like me couldn’t hear him, so I didn’t jump when he wrapped his arms around me. Instead, I leaned back into his embrace.

“So eager to leave me?” he teased, his breath whispering along my neck in a way that I recognized as foreplay. I pressed back against him, tilting my head encouragingly.

“The way this all began, I should be bolting out of here,” I teased, grinding my ass against him. “But if you keep it up, I might be inclined to stay.”

Spike snorted, pulling back and letting me turn around. He kissed me, and by this point in the relationship it only irked me a little that he had to bend his knees to do it. If I had thought it hurt my ego when the girls I dated were my height, it was nothing compared to the hit I got from dating men. Still, when Spike grabbed my hips and ground against me, I pretty much forgot my annoyance.

“Think there’s enough time for a tumble?” Spike asked when he pulled back.

“If there’s not, we’ll make them wait. Want to call for Xander?” I asked.

“Actually,” came Xander’s voice from the doorway, where he was leaning against the frame and watching us. “I’m kind of enjoying the show. Why don’t you two start and I’ll join in when I can’t resist anymore.”

“Hear that, pup?” Spike said, picking me up and tossing me to the bed before climbing on top. “We’ve got to be irresistible.”

“Think we can do it?” I asked as Spike mounted me, pulling my legs up to wrap around his hips.

“Mm,” Spike said, then flipped our positions, putting me on top with my knees on either side of him. “Maybe like this.” And then Spike yanked my pants down, baring my ass at Xander. I laughed and hid my face in Spike’s shoulder, but gave my ass an enticing wiggle.

“Yep, that’s pretty fucking irresistible!” Xander said, leaping to the bed. I jerked my pants back up, not wanting to get twisted in the fabric. Xander made a disappointed noise and was pawing at my jeans when Spike flipped us, leaving me and Xander side by side on the bed beneath him.

            “Since I’m being left behind, I think I get to be on top.”

            “You always get to be on top,” Xander protested, and I was inclined to agree.

            “I’ll bottom if you ask nice some time, pet, but I mean I’m gonna top both of ya.”

            Xander and I shared a look.

            “Is that even possible?” I wondered before I could stop myself.

            “Oi! Are you doubting my stamina?”

            “Hey, the last time I checked, you only have one dick, and I checked fairly recently. Are you planning on having one person watch and get sloppy seconds?”

            “Was thinkin’ of a tandem act,” Spike said, smirking, then flipped me so that I was lying nose-to-nose on top of Xander. “Get you both out of those clothes and I’ll handle you both at once,” he promised. I grinned, grinding down on Xander, who moaned beneath me.

            “I don’t see a downside here,” I said, and Xander nodded in agreement.

            “’S a catch, though,” Spike warned, leaning in and grinding his erection on my ass. “I want a taste. From both ‘a ya.”

            “A… you mean you want to bite me?” I asked, a little startled. He’d done it once before, but that had been an accident. It hadn’t struck me that next time he might ask for consent.

            “It’s not bad,” Xander piped in, sensing my reluctance. “It doesn’t really hurt, and it won’t put you out like last time. Actually, it feels pretty good if you’re fucking when he does it.”

            “Let’s show him, pet,” Spike coaxed. Xander nodded and pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it to the floor, soon to be followed by his pants. Spike grinned and licked his lips, pulling the demon forward and running his tongue over his fangs. Xander swatted his leg.

            “Don’t scare him,” he scolded. “You look at him like he’s dinner and he’s likely to bolt.”

            “C’mere, then. Ya look like a tastey treat,” Spike said as he finished removing his own clothes, pulling Xander into his arms. Xander went willingly, his abs pulling taunt as he crawled over Spike. “Now who’s giving a show?”

            “It’d be pay-per-view, baby,” Xander boasted, wiggling his ass at me. I took a moment to pull off my shirt and drop my pants, my cock giving an interested twitch as I watched my two lovers play.

            “Mm, lie back against me,” Spike instructed. Xander slipped into his lap, turning around and letting Spike pull him into place. Xander’s hair was getting longer and shaggy, and Spike had to push the dark locks off of Xander’s neck as he leaned over Xander’s shoulder. I had kind of thought Spike would simply sink his fangs into Xander, but instead he began by pressing kisses against Xander’s pulse. Xander moaned as Spike began licking the skin at his neck, and Spike’s hand snaked down wrap around Xander’s flaccid cock, which quickly rose with interest.

            It was kind of like really good porn. As a matter of fact, if it hadn’t been for Spike’s demonic face, I probably would have been tempted to film them. Although, finding a camera in the uninhabited city would probably be a bit of a challenge. That, and the fact that Spike probably wouldn’t show up, so it would look like Xander was getting fucked by a ghost.

I felt my own cock rise as Spike continued to worship Xander’s neck and stroke his dick. After a few moments, I gave up trying to be the unbiased audience and crawled between Xander’s legs, lying on my stomach and licking his cock. Xander gasped and moaned, throwing his head back on Spike’s shoulder.

“Watch now, pup,” Spike told me, and I pulled my attention away from Xander’s manhood to look at Spike, who was still in gameface, as he finished licking Xander’s neck and slowly, gently sank his fangs into Xander’s neck. Xander hissed and tensed, but his manhood remained erect, so I realized it couldn’t be hurting him that badly, and Spike gave Xander’s cock a couple pumps to distract him. After a moment, Xander’s muscles completely relaxed, and he lay limply in Spike’s arms, his head lolling and a look of complete contentedness on his face.

Meanwhile, Xander had begun to bleed, and the scent of blood in the air was calling to the wolf in a primal way, and from the brown spots that had appeared across Xander’s arms and thighs, I could tell he was feeling the same.

But there was very little actually bleeding. After the initial incision, Spike removed his fangs and covered the wound with his mouth, taking three long draughts from Xander’s neck, closing his eyes as he savored Xander’s own personal flavor. I could almost see him committing the taste to memory as he focused his entire being on Xander.

“What does it taste like?” I asked, breaking Spike’s concentration as he opened his eyes to look at me. He lapped at Xander’s neck with his tongue before answering, making sure that the pin-sized wounds were fully closed before he would turn to me.

“Tastes like Twinkies and savannah grass,” he said, causing Xander to bark in laughter.

“It does not!” Xander protested, trying to get offended enough to sit up, but I could see that it was a struggle for him, given how relaxed his muscles were. Spike gave a quick stroke to Xander’s cock and Xander flopped back again, moaning. “God, I want you so bad!” he confessed, bucking his hips into Spike’s still fist.

“Gonna have to wait, pet. It’s the pup’s turn,” Spike reminded, and Xander sighed in frustration. “You ready?” Spike asked me, and I felt a shiver of apprehension go down my spine, but it was tempered with excitement. There was something primal about sharing blood, something both the man and the wolf could see as important. As much as I feared sharing this with Spike, a part of me longed for it. I nodded, and Xander shimmied down to my place at Spike’s knees so that I could replace him on Spike’s lap.

There was something comforting and familiar about the cool skin beneath me and the hard prick pressing into my back. Something that told me that Spike was not nearly as unaffected as he seemed.

Spike didn’t begin with me the same way he had Xander. Instead of licking and teasing my neck, he latched on to one specific spot and suckled. I almost protested the humongous hickey I was going to have there, but Xander started lapping at my testicles and I suddenly decided Spike probably knew what he was doing. The sucking went on for several minutes, and whatever was in Spike’s saliva that made me sleepy was having a tingling effect on my neck, effectively numbing the skin. When Spike finally did decide to bite I didn’t even feel the piercing over the steady pressure of the suction on my neck, and it wasn’t until I smelled my own blood in the air that I realized I was being bled. The tension suddenly left my body, and while I didn’t feel tired as I had when Spike had bit me before, I suddenly felt absolutely relaxed and content.

Xander growled as the smell of my blood hit him, his spots becoming more defined and he suddenly took my erection into his mouth, giving a strong suck before lathing it with his tongue. I moaned and let my head fall onto Spike’s shoulder, bringing my hand up to cradle Spike’s head as he continued to suck on my neck. I ran my hands though Spike’s hair as I felt him take one last draw on my neck, relishing my taste the same way he had Xander’s before licking the wounds just as thoroughly. Then he reluctantly released my neck, whispering, “Go give Xander a kiss,” in my ear. I nodded, then shimmied down to lay beside Xander, kissing him thoroughly.

“What a pair you two are,” Spike admired as we made out. “Love having you two at my knees.”

And then he did something unexpected. Very deliberately, he brought the middle finger of each hand to his mouth and nicked them with his fangs, then offered the bleeding digit to Xander and me. I cast a confused glance at Xander, who met my stare with his own uncertain gaze. He hesitated a moment, but as the drop of blood began to run down the side of Spike’s finger Xander quickly stuck out his tongue and caught the droplet, then took the finger into his mouth. I followed suit, a muffled growl bursting from my throat at the heady taste of Spike’s blood. It tasted like liquor and power, so rich that even a drop overwhelmed my senses, with an aftertaste like dust in a closed room that I attributed to his age. I could hardly believe that something so rich and alive could come from someone who was essentially dead. It didn’t help that the taste, which was the epitome of Spike, went straight to my cock.

“We’re family now,” Spike said, his voice thick as he watched us lap at his fingers, which had quit bleeding now. “Not… Not traditional – How could we be? – But still family. This way… I’ll always be with you.”

Then he kissed me, a long kiss with lots of tongue, and I got to taste Xander’s blood on his lips for the first time, and it was almost indistinguishable from my own – but I couldn’t help but smile at the faint taste of sweetness and wild nature that Spike had identified earlier. As Spike turned to give the same treatment to Xander, I couldn’t help but wonder what my blood would taste like on his tongue. Whatever it tasted like, Xander seemed to enjoy it just as much as I had.

“Don’t know if I kin take it anymore, pets,” Spike moaned, withdrawing his fingers. “So fuckin sexy!”

And then he was slipping off the bed, gracefully moving around Xander and me. He got his footing on the floor and motioned for me to climb on top of Xander so that we were nose to nose, then he pulled Xander around so that our legs were hanging off the side of the bed. Finally, he pushed Xander’s legs up so that his feet were perched on the bed, his bent knees pressing my legs open. It gave Spike perfect access to both of us from where he stood beside the bed, and allowed Xander’s cock to rub enticingly against mine. I ground against Xander’s hardness as Spike lubed himself, stepping up and entering Xander in one quick motion. Xander gave a yowl that was half human, half animal, and all lust. I growled as Spike’s slicked fingers slipped into my hole, fucking me in tandem with Xander as we ground against each other. When Xander came, snarling and nipping at my shoulder, Spike didn’t hesitate a moment before pulling out and thrusting deep inside of me. It was dirty and erotic and so fucking good, being fucked deep and hard by Spike while lying on Xander, my manhood slicked with his seed and rubbing against his waning erection. Surrounded by both their scents, with Spike pounding into my ass, it was only minutes before I came, giving a snarling howl of my own while Spike screamed behind me and plowed home.

Panting, covered in sweat and semen, I felt completely at ease. And when Spike eventually got around to pulling out of me and cleaning us up, I was so sated that I could hardly even roll over as he maneuvered me and Xander back onto the bed. And then, curled up together, we drifted off for a few scant hours of sleep before our journey.

“Spike,” I called as we rose later, getting ready to leave. Xander was up too, and I could tell that he was just as curious.“What was that… before? With the blood?”

“Che,” Spike said, not bothering to get out of the bed. “Was just bein’ stupid, that’s all. I know we’re mated by demon standards – with the biting and the fucking when we first found ya – but I want us to be properly mated… by vampire standards. That was as close as I could come unless… Well, for now, anyway, that’ll have to do. Won’t change you or anything, but you’ll always have a bit a my blood in ya.”

“That’s…” Could a blood exchange be called sweet? “…very generous of you. I’m honored.”

Xander was nodding beside me.

“A real mating… You’d have to turn us, wouldn’t you? That’s why you said this was as close as you could come?”

Spike nodded.

“Wait, don’t vampires take human consorts?” I asked. I was pretty sure I’d read that in Dracula somewhere.

“Consorts ‘r little better than pets, luv. They don’t have any ranking in vampire society, and they’re kept so drugged up on fang juice from how often they get bit that they have the mental capacity of a goldfish. I wouldn’t do that to either a ya.”

“Umm… I draw the line at becoming the evil undead.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that,” Xander protested before Spike could. “Lilline and Alton both have souls, so does Angel. We could change without losing our souls, right Spike?” Xander asked hopefully. Spike laughed.

“Didn’t ya hear, pup? Souls are all the rage this year. Everyone’s sportin’ one.”

“I wouldn’t mind being young forever, even if it does require a liquid diet,” I admitted, and Xander grinned at me, then turned to Spike sheepishly.

“If you ever want to complete this… you know, do a formal vampire mating thing or whatever, we’ll help, right Oz? We’re mated as the demon and the werewolf. I don’t… I don’t know much about being turned, but I’d love to be mated to you. Maybe… Maybe we could talk about it? When we get back.”

Was it my imagination, that Spike suddenly looked horribly pained? But it was gone so fast that I couldn’t be sure.

“’Course, we can, pet. ‘Soon as you and the wolfling get back. Now gimme a kiss ‘n get movin’. Can’t have Sunshine and the Smurf getting impatient,” he teased, then leaned over to give each of us a long, lingering kiss. The kind of kiss that you could taste for hours afterwards, and that stayed in your memory long after other kisses had wilted and faded.

Later, I would realize it was the kind of kiss you said goodbye with.


	27. Separation Anxiety

Down to my bones, I could feel that it was all wrong. I leaned back on the plush leather interior of the Chevy… car (had I really been so distracted that I hadn’t even noticed what kind of car it was?) and tried to let the dim light sooth me. Looking out the tinted windows made me uneasy, because every shape looked like a blurry, undefined monster. I tried focusing on Xander, but he was only making me more nervous by bouncing in his seat. He was asking Wesley questions at a mile a minute, and I could appreciate that he was trying to dispel his nervous energy, but it was actually pretty annoying. I could tell Angel was trying to let it go over his head, but at four in the morning Angel was definitely a cranky vampire.

“Why don’t we all just try to sit quietly and listen to the radio,” Angel gritted after Xander’s seventeenth question about where he were going to have lunch. The radio was immediately turned up, with something slow and mournful from the 50’s playing. I slipped my hand into Xander’s, calling his attention to me as he sagged into the seat, the nervous energy bleeding out of him and leaving misery in its wake.

“What’s wrong?” I asked softly, the music giving us some cover from Angel and Wesley.

“I don’t know!” he snarled, his frustration making an appearance even as his grip on my hand tightened. He quieted a second later, “I don’t know what’s the matter. I thought it might be leaving Spike, but it’s not like I haven’t been apart from him before. It’s not… It’s not that I can’t be apart from him!” Xander snarled, and I could tell it was a reaction to Spike’s earlier challenge. I had a feeling that Spike’s challenge, the only thing that got Xander to come, was also the only thing that was keeping him from running back. But I didn’t have any such fears of being left behind. So why the hell did I feel so upset?

“It’s only for one night,” I offered, although I wasn’t really sure if I was trying to convince Xander or myself. Either way, it only served to make Xander look more miserable and desperate.

“I know! I know it’s just one night! I know I’m acting like a two-year old!” he said, still trying to keep his voice low enough that Angel and Wesley wouldn’t take an interest. “But I can’t help it! It’s not the same irrational fear I’ve felt before. It’s not like the other times, when I panic and I don’t think about what I’m doing. I am thinking about it. I know it sounds stupid. But I still feel it. Don’t you?” he asked, and his eyes became desperately hopeful when I nodded that I, too, felt that something was wrong on a visceral level. He continued, struggling to explain what I just as keenly felt.

“I feel like…”

Like the sky is caving in and no one notices but you.

“Like…”

Like the world is ending and the apocalypse is right behind us and I don’t want to turn around but I’m so scared that it’s already here.

“Like…”

Like it’s already too late.

“Like I’ll never see him again.”

Xander and I stared at each other for a moment, his face going white. Mine probably mirrored his, and I was the one that turned to Angel and said, far more calmly than I felt, “We have to go back.”

“What? But we just got on the road.”

“Turn this fucking boat around!” Xander snarled, the hyena coming to the forefront as he went from controlled anxiety to full-fledged panic. Angel glared at him from the front seat, but Wesley grabbed his shoulder before he could snarl something in return.

“Spike needs us,” I defended before Xander could exacerbate the situation. Angel cast one last look at us in the review, probably seeing my ashen face and Xander’s stretch of hyena spots, and squealed tires pulling an illegal u-turn over the divide in the highway. It was a good thing that the highways surrounding the desolated city were empty, because Angel suddenly felt our urgency and floored the accelerator toward the city. Xander bounced in his seat beside me, and even Wesley cast worried glances between us and Angel.

“Are you sure you’re not over-reacting?” Wesley asked, turning in his seat to face Xander.

“They’re not,” Angel interceded, turning Wesley’s attention toward him. “There’s something going on with Spike. I can feel it too. It’s… It’s a vampire thing,” Angel admitted.

“Because you’re his sire?” Wes asked. Angel simply nodded and huddled over the wheel, refusing to say more.

“Fuck!” Xander snarled beside me, his fingers around the door handle and I think only my hand on his shoulder keeping him from leaping from the vehicle.

“The car’s still faster than we are on foot,” I reminded him. “We’re almost home.”

“It feels like we’re running out of time!” he growled at me, flashing a bit of fang in his irritation. It was too much, and I growled back.

“I’m just as fucking worried as you are!” I snapped at him, flashing my own bit of fang as the wolf came to the surface. “I feel it just as fucking strongly as you do, but panicking is not gonna help us!”

“I know, I’m sorry,” he replied, calming and leaning toward me, rubbing his face against my cheek in apology. I carded my fingers through his hair, trying to calm him.

“We’re gonna make it,” I promised, but there was no way that I could be sure of that.

“We’ll make it,” Angel echoed from the front seat, and I saw him cast his yellow eyes at me in the rearview, and only then did I realize that his demon had come to the surface. Perhaps he was feeling the pull just as strongly as we were. Either way, we both took some confidence in Angel’s words.

The rest of the drive passed in a blur, and we covered probably an hour’s worth of ground in twenty minutes. Angel skidded the car to a stop by the steps to the hotel, and Xander was already halfway into the building before the car fully stopped, with me hot on his heels. I could hear Angel and Wesley pounding up behind us as we hit the stairs, but I gave them only a passing thought as I raced for the top floor. I don’t know how Xander and I knew where Spike was, but I didn’t bother to think about it as our demons’ led us directly to the heart of our pack.

Who was lounging on the roof, totally relaxed and completely unharmed. I followed a step behind Xander, who halted just beyond doorway. It was like the world had tilted. Where was the danger? The wolf was still howling, and I could see Xander looking around desperately for signs of attack. His demon was so close to the surface that his ears had become fuzzy hyena ears on the top of his head, and they swiveled frantically, listening for any sounds of danger.

But Spike was fine. Laid out on a beach chair that I didn’t even know we had, he looked like he was trying to get a tan despite being completely covered in his usual attire, complete with his favorite leather jacket. The only addition to his wardrobe was a pair of black sunglasses. As we watched, uncertain, he yawned and stretched, putting his arms behind his head.

“I don’t know…” I heard Xander whisper, and I could feel mortification rolling off of him. I knew his demon was screaming at him just as strongly as mine was at me, but I also could not find anything in this situation to protect Spike from.

That all changed when Angel and Welsey finished mounting the stairs and Angel went ballistic, unable to leave the safe shadows of the stairs.

“Spike!” he screamed, causing Spike to finally take notice of our presence. His glasses slipped from his face, and it was only then that I saw the look of shock and guilt on his face, and realized that the danger was still present.

And that was when the first rays of sun peaked over the horizon. Xander and I sprang across the roof toward Spike. Spike stayed frozen where he was on the beach chair, his skin beginning to smoke as the first rays hit him. Xander was ahead of me by a step, his hyena lending power and speed to his form that my wolf could never counter. His distended, clawed hands reached out and snatch Spike up by the shoulders, hauling him across the roof as the flames began to lick at Spike’s unprotected skin. I followed behind, trying to block the rays of the sun with my small form. And when Xander got within reach of the stairs, Angel and Wesley took over and yanked Spike’s charred form the last few inches into the shadows, where he crumpled in a smoldering, smoking heap.

And then all was silent for several minutes, save for the desperate, panicked panting of Xander and me. Finally, the silence was broken by Xander muttering, “What the fuck?”

            It was a question that I could see echoed on everyone’s face, and as Spike eventually sat up, the burns already beginning to fade, no answer was forthcoming.

            “Spike,” Xander snarled, “What the fuck was that?” he asked again as Spike got to his knees and glanced at Xander, but guiltily could not hold Xander’s gaze.

            “Sorry pet,” Spike croaked, his voice hoarse from the smoke. “I didn’t mean for you to see that.”

            “See what, exactly?” Angel interceded, his own patience running low.

            “Oh, fuck off, Peaches. It’s not like you care,” Spike snarled, jumping feet first into the distraction that was his sire, but Wesley interceded before Angel could take a chunk out of Spike.

            “Gentlemen,” Wesley said, again his hand going to Angel’s shoulder. “I think we’ve lost sight of the point here. The point being, what the hell was Spike doing on the roof at dawn?”

            All eyes turned to Spike, but he wasn’t about to say anything. But why did he need to? It was pretty damn obvious to me.

            “He was trying to kill himself.”

            “What? Oz, you’ve got to be off your rocker,” Xander scoffed, and tried to laugh, but even the hyena’s voice couldn’t make it more convincing than a barking whine. “There’s no way Spike would do something like that. Right?”

But Spike was looking less than convincing, and Xander was getting more irritated by the second. His spots darkened along his neck, and I could tell that he was having trouble controlling the beast within him. Maybe he wasn’t even trying.

“Xander,” Spike tried to sooth, but Xander only growled at him.

            “Tell me you wouldn’t do that,” Xander demanded.

            “Pet, let me explain,” Spike tried again, putting his hand on Xander’s arm, but Xander shoved him backwards, sending Spike sprawling down the stairs with a sickening crash.

            “You fucking bastard!” Xander roared, leaping down the stairs after Spike, unsatisfied with the damage he had already done. Angel leapt after him, grabbing Xander by the collar of his shirt and yanking him away from Spike’s prone form, but I don’t think he expected the ferocity with which Xander turned on him. Xander pivoted in his grasp and threw his shoulder into Angel, driving his claws into Angel’s midsection for what would have been a deadly disembowelment on a human. For Angel, it drove him to his knees before he managed to regain his footing and grab Xander again, this time securing him in a headlock. By the time Wesley and I made it to the bottom of the stairs, Xander was having no luck in wrestling out of Angel’s hold, and Spike was just beginning to sit up from where Xander had thrown him. I inserted myself between the struggling pair and Spike, who was battered but conscious.

            “Spike, I think we would all appreciate an explanation before Xander rips this place apart trying to beat some sense into you,” I snarled, still keeping between Xander and Spike, just in case Angel lost his grip on the headlock. Wesley knelt next to Spike, hissing in sympathy at the badly broken arm that was dangling at the vampire’s left side.

            “I don’t… What do you want me to say, pet?” Spike asked softly, but it was Xander who answered.

            “Why?” he screamed, and suddenly all the rage gave way to the terror and hurt that he had been holding, and I turned to find that instead of restraining Xander, Angel was now practically holding him, while Xander clung to the arm encircling his chest like a lifeline and spewed rage at Spike, who simply sat across from him and took it. “Why wouldn’t you tell me? Why couldn’t you ask me for help, before it came to this? I thought we were happy!” Xander screamed, and it was a sign of his complete meltdown that he turned and hid his face in a very shocked Angel’s shoulder to hide his tears.

            “Love, I’m so sorry,” Spike said, looking like he wanted nothing more than to take Xander from Angel’s arms, but he didn’t know how. “You don’t understand…”

            “So make us,” I interjected, pulling his attention to me.

            “Pup… it’s not… I don’t think a human could…”

            “We’re all demons here,” I countered, and I knew my tone was cold because the rest of my body was too. Like a block of ice had settled in my place, but I just couldn’t get the image of him sitting on that roof, ready to throw it all away, out of my mind. “So what the fuck where you doing out there? Or are you just too stupid to know what sunlight does to a vampire?” I provoked, and at least it got a rise out of him.

            “Oi, fuck off. I know wha’ I’m doin’ and fuck all if I’m gonna explain myself to a half-cocked little pup like you!” he raged at me, but I didn’t let the words touch me. I needed his anger, needed to provoke him, so that he would slip up and I could get in under those carefully constructed barriers and see what the real problem was. I could only hope it wasn’t me.

            “Why the fuck would you take me on if you think I’m a ‘half-cocked pup’ then? Why would you entrust Xander to me if that’s all you thought of me? Or is he not worth enough for you to stay home and manage yourself?”

            “I would never endanger Xander, you cocky little shit! You might have a bitch of a mouth on you, but you take care of your own. This has nothing to do with that!”

            “It has everything to do with that!” I yelled, and I couldn’t help but feel a bit of real anger rise. “Why would you bother to find me if you weren’t gonna stick around? Why the hell would you put all this effort into convincing me to join you if you were just gonna fuck off and die anyway? Why couldn’t you just leave me alone if you didn’t fucking want me!”

            “You weren’t ever supposed to join me! You were supposed to fucking replace me!” he screamed, and it echoed through the stairwell. My eyes went to Xander’s, and suddenly it all made sense to both of us. The insistence I become a part of the pack. The pulling away. The showing me how to care for Xander. It was all so that I could do his job, when he was gone. And in the early dawn light, it was clear that this had been Spike’s plan… since the moment they found me. “I’m sorry, pup,” he continued, and I noticed that he couldn’t meet my eyes anymore. “I didn’t mean for it to go like this. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to get so attached to you. And when Angel and Wes showed up I thought maybe,” he cast a seething glare at Angel, “it could be different, but it can’t. I’m sorry, pup. I want more for you and Xander than a half life with a dead vamp. I want you two to have all the trappins and fixins of a normal life. I can’t give you that, and Xander would never leave this place without me. So I… tried to force the issue,” he admitted quietly.

            “You fucking bastard!” Xander screamed, once again wrenching himself away from Angel as Angel desperately tried to hold his grip in the face of such sudden and violent moodswings. But Xander wasn’t actually trying to get out of Angel’s grip, he simply needed a physical outlet for his emotional rage. “You don’t get to make those decisions without me! You cocksucking liar! You bastard! I hate you!”

            “I love you,” Spike said, and rang through the room even though it was said softly, and everything went dead silent again. “You too, pup,” he said, casting a glance at me that was all honesty and emotion, and it practically knocked the wind out of me. “I don’t say it much… and I know I don’t act like it half the time… but everything I do is because I want what’s best fer ya. And what’s best for ya… well, it certainly isn’t me.”

            “Don’t we get to decide that?” I asked, but Spike shook his head.

            “I know you want to stay with me, pup. I know it’s frightening startin’ a new life, but yer both ready for it. You’ve just got to leave behind… something that should have been dead and buried long ago.”

“I won’t let you leave me!” Xander screamed, and there was a hysterical thread to it that let me know he was losing his hold on lucidity. Spike could hear it, too, and reached out for Xander despite the badly twisted and broken arm that still hung at his side. Xander kicked out at him, though, and Spike was forced to sit again, unable to get to Xander in his injured state. Usually, it would be Spike manhandling Xander into submission when he got too wild, but tonight it was Angel who wrapped his arms into a steel cage around Xander and let him scream until he went limp.

“I’m sorry, pet,” Spike said, and sounded on the verge of tears himself. The hyena laughed, sad and viscous at the same time.

“You’re sorry?” Xander snarled. “You try to fucking abandon me – You’re still trying to fucking abandon me! – And you’re sorry? Fuck you! Fuck you to hell, you bastard! I never should have trusted you! I knew you wouldn’t be there for me! I knew you’d leave me like all the others! Everybody fucking dies on me!”

“It’s me or you, Xander, and I won’t bloody watch you die!” Spike finally screamed, breaking Xander’s tirade and making the room fall silent again.

“What do you mean?” I asked, and Spike shrugged his shoulders and couldn’t look me in the eye.

“It’s going to happen, in’t it? I know that. You’re human and it happens to humans all the time. But I keep you locked up here like an animal because I can’t stand the thought that it could be my fault that you go, because I couldn’t protect you well enough. But it will be my bloody fault, won’t it? Whether some nasty gets ya or ya waste yer entire life in here waiting for me to get back, it’s still your whole life that I’ve taken away. And then we found you, pup, and it was the happiest Xander’s been in a long time, and I could just feel the life slipping out of him. Could watch the hours tick away and know that you’ve both only got, what? Another forty years? Fifty? If somethin’ doesn’t happen, and I know Xander’s got heart attacks and strokes all through his family tree. I could feel time pulling you two away from me, and I couldn’t watch you go.”

“So you leave us before we can leave you? That doesn’t sound fair.”

“I’m sorry, pup. At least you’d have each other. And I knew you’d take care of my boy. I have stuff set up for yeh, too. Money and whatnot. You’d never want for anything,” he said, and I knelt in front of him and forced him to look me in the eye.

“We’d want for you,” I told him, and he took a deep, unnecessary breath before I continued. “We talked about this. We don’t ever want to leave you. Even… Even if that means becoming like you. Becoming a vampire. We’ll stay with you.”


	28. Revelations

“We’d want for you,” I told him, and he took a deep, unnecessary breath before I continued. “We talked about this. We don’t ever want to leave you. Even… Even if that means becoming like you. Becoming a vampire. We’ll stay with you.”

And he looked so stricken, then, that I didn’t know what to say.

“I… can’t,” he said hoarsely, and I could hear the anguish in his voice.

“Why?” I demanded, but it was Angel who answered.

“Because he really can’t,” Angel said, finally relaxing his hold on Xander and turning his attention to Spike. “That’s why you were so adamant that we come out here, isn’t it? Because one vampire can’t make two childes at the same time. The blood isn’t strong enough, and they eventually fade to fledges. So you wanted to share sireship with me, like I did with Dru, and turn them both at the same time.”

“Yeah, know it was a bloody stupid idea ‘n all…”  
            “It was a brilliant idea,” Angel countered. “But you know why I can’t,” he said, their eyes both sliding over to rest of Wesley, who took a moment to realize that all eyes had suddenly turned to him.

“Me? What in the four hells did I do?” Wesley asked, and seemed genuinely shocked that he shared any of the blame in this situation.

“It’s not you, Wes. It’s just…”

“To turn them, we need to have a Rite of Cruor first,” Spike said hopefully.

“Oh… Oh! I see,” Wesley said, and I could see an immediate blush rising to his cheeks.

It must have intrigued Xander just as much as it did me, because he turned in Angel’s grasp to look up at the vampire and asked, “What’s a Rite of Cure?”

“The Rite of Cruor,” Wesley corrected, “is an ancient vampire ritual. From the Latin for flowing blood, all the members of a vampire clan exchange blood… and other bodily fluids… to strengthen and homogenize the blood of the group.”

“’S basically a big vampire orgy,” Spike put in helpfully, making Wesley go scarlet again.

“It’s a closing of the ranks,” Angel growled, and finally felt that Xander was calm enough to release now that most of his spots had faded. Xander slid to the floor as Angel released his hold, too mentally and physically exhausted to stand. “It’s how vampires mark who’s in the clan. You can have non-vampires participate in the Rite- usually thralls or people that want to become vampires. But once the Rite is completed, no one who didn’t participate can get close to the members that did. It closes the vampiric clan to outsides, and the vampire will violently eject anyone that tries to get close after that. Friends, family… even lovers.”

“Who all would be involved in this ritual?” I asked, my curiosity piqued.

“Well, th’ vampires would be me ‘n Peaches. We’re the only ones left of the Aurelius line, and we’re both master vampires in our own rights, so the blood should be plenty strong enough. It hasn’t been shared in a while, though, so it’ll probably be a long ritual. The more you do the ritual, the quicker it is. Me ‘n Dru used to do it twice a week.”

“We did it every other night when you and Dru were with me and Darla,” Angel put in, and there was the air of competition between them that told me dominance had not been settled yet. Spike rolled his eyes, though, probably too worn out to fight about it.

“Yeah, it was a proper clan with the bints. Before you ran off and left us, Sire.”

“Wait, wait, I’m confused,” Xander put in, still sprawled out on the floor. “So Drusilla wasn’t you’re sire?”

“Dru turned me, pet, but Angel… well, he kept me from turning into a mindless fledge,” Spike said, and there was a note of hurt in his voice, a long-time pain that had faded but would never quite leave.

“Drusilla had a penchant for turning starry-eyed boys she found in her path. But a childe needs more than just a mouthful of blood to keep it strong and intelligent. Dru did pretty well turning a childe, but after the initial exchange she would let them… fade away.”

“Did it all the time with her bleedin’ birds,” Spike said morosely. “She’d remember to feed ‘em for a week or two, and then she’d just… forget. It’s wasn’t her fault. I always knew she was barmy.”

“Usually,” Angel continued. “The childe would run off after Dru missed two or three feedings and go hunting on their own. Without access to a sire’s blood, they’d fade to fledges and get staked, either by rival vampires or a roving slayer. Spike, though…” Angel hesitated, looking at Spike like one might look at a puzzle. Like all their pieces were there, but you couldn’t imagine how to put them together to make a solid picture. “Spike never left her. Wasting away in a corner of a dank basement, waiting for her to remember that he existed. But he never yelled at her or tried to take more than she was offering. But he was fading, even Darla and I could see it. Without a will to hunt on his own and with scant and unreliable sire’s blood, it was only a matter of time before he dusted from lack of nutrition.”

“So you fed him?” Wesley asked, and there was a note of pride in his voice that made Angel frown.

“It wasn’t altruistic, trust me. I was a vampire, and I couldn’t give a shit about the pain that Spike was feeling or the possibility that he would dust. It would have been kinder to let him be forgotten in that basement, but I needed a babysitter for Drusilla. She was a seer, so she was invaluable to our clan through her prophecies, but she was also insane and needed constant attention. If she wasn’t watched, she’d forget the time of day and walk into the sunlight, or forget what she was and walk into a church. Those kind of things were getting more frequent, and Darla was ready to bash my childe’s head against the ground and be done with her. So when I was sure that Spike wouldn’t abandon her, I took over feeding him in hopes of having a full-time babysitter for Dru.”

“So… That’s all there is to it?” Wesley asked, and I could tell he was fascinated. “You just started feeding him your blood and that was it? No rituals or sacrifices? The texts made it seem like exchanging sireship took a lot of effort.”

“It might have, if the three of us didn’t share blood so often,” Angel explained patiently. “Compared to most vampire clans, we were extremely small. We rarely kept fledges with us, and only enough minions to take care of Dru. So the blood flowed more freely between the three of us than in most other clans, and it wouldn’t have been that hard on Spike to change sire’s. The shock might have killed him otherwise.”

“I remember,” Spike put in quietly, “that the blood was different, but I could still taste Dru if I really tried. Could taste you, of course, and a little bit of Darla, but I could taste Dru, and it helped until I got used to it. After you left us, sometimes I would taste you in her blood and miss you. I wonder… after all these years… if I could still taste her in yours.”

“When I was souled and I went off on my own… sometimes the loneliness would get so strong that I would bite my own wrist just to taste the three of you,” Angel admitted, and sort of understanding passed between them that I think only vampires can quite comprehend. Or maybe only souled vampires. Or possibly just the two of them.

“How… would this work?” came Xander’s voice hesitantly. He was seated cross-legged on the floor, his shoulders slumped and his head hanging. It was obvious that he was calm now mostly because he had exhausted himself. “If…” and he cast a tired glare at Angel, “If we let Deadboy help, how would we do this… this shared sireship thing? Like, would one of you kill us and then one of you bring us back? Or would… would one of us belong to him?”

“It wouldn’t work like that, pet,” Spike assured. “You’re mine. You’re both mine. Peaches…” and he cast a glance at Angel that spoke of wariness and trust at the same time. “Angel is only here to help.”

“The easiest way,” Angel cut in, “would be for one of us to drain you, and then the other would do the initial siring. Then we would continue to rotate feedings, so neither of you gets too attached to either sire. Eventually you would both ween off of sire’s blood, and then we would be able to separate.”

“Fucking shitty choice if you ask me,” Xander. “Either you kill me or you resurrect me, right? Fucking hell.”

“That’s the only way to give you both enough blood without one of you being my childe entirely. It will also help to give you a taste of each other before you turn. Say I were to drain you, Xander, and then resurrect Oz. The blood that I would be feeding him from my veins would have come from you, so he’ll be able to taste you. Hopefully, it will trick your vampire into seeing him as family.”

“Why can’t we both be turned by Spike?” I asked, sensing that Xander still wasn’t thrilled about the idea of having Angel as a partial sire. “Separately, I mean. One at a time.”

“You could, if one of you wanted to wait a couple decades until Xander’s off sire’s blood entirely. You’d be close to fifty by then, if you’re volunteering, and let me tell you that it’s a lot nicer being stuck in your prime than in mid-life.”

“It wouldn’t work anyway,” Spike countered. “Originally I thought about just turning them both together, but do you remember what childes are like? They’d be at each other’s throats.”

“Hmm, blood competition,” Angel agreed. “I’d forgotten how territorial childes can be about their blood. Remember how you used to snap at Darla when she wanted to feed on me?”

“Bloody lost a handful of teeth to the bint the first time I tried it! I was so worried they weren’t gonna grow back ‘n I was gonna be stuck gap-toothed for the rest of eternity.”

“You never nipped at Dru, though, and she was my childe. She was more competition than Darla, who just bit me for fun.”

“Dru was my sire, though. It makes a difference. Makin’ one and then the other, though, they’d be straight competition. ‘N Xander wouldn’t be strong enough to turn Oz until the pup’s in his nineties, so that route’s out too.”

“The best solution, then, appears to be the Rite of Cruor,” Wesley said. “So… I’m not really sure why we’re debating it so much.”

“Wes,” Angel said, turning to his lover. “The Rite… It won’t exclude you because Illyria stopped you from aging. The vampire in me won’t accept anyone who doesn’t participate in the Rite. You wouldn’t be safe with me anymore.”

            “So…” Wesley’s face fell, going even more blue as he went pallid. “So we won’t be able to be together?”

            “Hell, Peaches, would you just ask him already?” Spike snarled from the floor. “I know it’s hard, but man up for once.”

            “Shut up, Spike!” Angel snarled back, then turned his attention to Wesley, taking his hand. “I had hoped to talk to you in private about this, but since Spike’s being… Spike, I guess I’ll just ask. I know this isn’t the kind of thing you’re usually into… but I want you to participate in the Rite of Cruor with me. I want you to be a part of my family, my vampire family, forever. I understand if you can’t bring yourself to participate, but if you’re willing, I want you with me.”

            Wesley looked stunned, and slowly pulled his hand away from Angel.

“So… Wait, you mean all of this trouble was because you thought I’d be too squeamish to go through with the Rite?” Wes was livid now, and thwacked Angel upside the head. “I’m a prude, you cunt, but I am your lover! I knew what you were before we got into this. It didn’t stop me then, and it won’t stop me now. So stop being an asshole and tell Spike we’ll do it.”

But Spike had already got the message, and let out a whoop before throwing himself excitedly at Xander.

Who threw him directly back to the ground, broken arm and all.

“It’s fucking fantastic that Angel and Wes are gonna help us, but you’re still in deep shit, asshole!”

Then he stormed out of the room. I shrugged at Spike, then followed.


	29. Making Amends

It took two days for Spike to heal completely. Most of the cuts and scrapes healed the first day, and the burns were gone before we went to sleep. The broken arm took the longest to set, and then was sore for the next day after. During that time, Angel and Spike began making the initial preparations for the ceremony, along with Angel making arrangements to stay with us for the next week. Spike and Xander didn’t speak for those two days, and Spike slept in one of the guest rooms to give Xander some time to cool off. I found it awkward to dance between my two lovers with neither of them talking to each other. But I guess that was what I’d been brought in for.

Before we went to sleep on the second night, Spike came up to Xander and kissed him, then disappeared into the master bedroom. Xander was frozen for so long after that, simply staring at the door, that eventually I moved to go inside without him.

“Oz,” Xander called me before I entered the room. “Talk to me for a minute,” he asked, and I moved away from the door to speak with him. “When we go in there, I want you to follow my lead,” he said, and his tone was serious enough that it made me nervous.

“What do you want to do?” I asked him, feeling uncertainty setting in.

“I… It’s just… You want to keep us, right?” he asked me. I nodded my head without hesitation. It had been a while now since I had wanted to leave them. And longer still since I’d thought I could.

“I’m glad,” he said, relaxing a bit and reaching out to put a hand on my shoulder. “I think we need to show Spike that we won’t let him leave us. I think we need to show him that he’s ours. So just follow my lead, alright?” he said, and then entered the room before I had a chance to respond.

There was an air inside the room that was somehow more feral than I was used to. Like the two-day absence of Spike had allowed the room to become wild, and that his return was upsetting the balance of nature. On the bed, Spike was already naked and sprawled, looking like some kind of primitive incubus with his white skin practically glowing against the dark sheets.

And then Xander stepped up beside him, also naked, with his dark colors and his hyena spots trailing down his neck. They complimented each other, the darkness and the light. But they both radiated danger, and for a moment I felt like the hapless mortal victim. Until Spike beckoned to me, and I felt the wolf howl inside me.

“Come add some color to the monochrome,” Spike invited, reaching out to me, and I found myself being pulled toward him. I slipped out of my clothes as I slipped into bed, and there was no awkwardness as they pulled me into their embrace. For a while, we simply basked in the feeling of skin touching skin- Xander’s heat and Spike’s cool melding around my form until I could not tell one from the other.

But eventually, the past week caught up with us, and it was obvious that Xander was still angry and that Spike was still unbalanced. Xander’s nips, usually playful and shallow, were too hard and broke the skin, but Spike said nothing as Xander left a trail of them down Spike’s side. I followed behind, hesitant to intervene, and lapped the blood away from the quickly-healing wounds.

“Want you,” Xander growled at Spike’s ear, licking at the scratch he had put on Spike’s neck.

“Take me,” Spike replied, and spread his legs invitingly. Xander smiled, baring more fangs than teeth, and slid between Spike’s legs. He lapped at Spike’s testicles, then dipped lower, and I realized that Xander was planning to top Spike. It unnerved the wolf, a creature that relied on pack order, but the man in me realized that it was probably the best way to remind Spike that we might be submissive, but we were also his equals.

I leaned in and kissed Spike just as Xander thrust his fingers inside, and Spike hissed against my lips.

“Fuck, whelp!” Spike protested, but did nothing to stop Xander as he continued to penetrate the vampire. Xander paused after a moment and grabbed the lube from beside the bed, but otherwise ignored Spike. I worried, again, that Xander might be too angry to fix what was broken between us, but something kept me from interrupting. Deep down, I could feel the love that Xander still had for Spike. It felt almost like Xander was lancing a wound that had become infected. And I felt that, like lancing a wound, it would get worse before it got better.

Xander didn’t spend much time preparing Spike. Before long he was guiding Spike to his knees. Spike, for his part, continued his silent acceptance, allowing Xander to turn him and pull him, submissively. I found our positions reversed then, with Spike kneeling over top of me as Xander knelt behind him. Spike kissed me, a little desperate, and I felt him tense and shudder as Xander pressed in, giving no quarter as he seated himself. Spike panted against my shoulder as Xander paused, and I noticed it primarily because Spike never breathed. Didn’t need to breathe. So I had to assume that he did it only to calm himself. But as the panting continued, I began to worry.

“Can you hyperventilate?” I wondered absently, and it made Spike chuckle.

“No worries, pup. Just helps me adjust,” he replied, then moaned as Xander began to move, shallow thrusts of the hips, which rubbed Spike’s cock along my body in an enticing way. I felt myself harden and thrust my hips upwards to meet Xander’s movements. When Xander found a pace, I reached down and fisted Spike’s cock with mine, rubbing both of them at the same time.

“Is that enough?” Xander asked Spike, and Spike hesitated before nodding. I was confused, and only became more confused when Xander stopped moving and pulled Spike out of my grasp, then rolled until Spike was sitting on Xander’s lap, with Spike’s back to me. Xander tipped Spike forward, and I was treated to a fantastic view of Spike impaled on Xander’s cock. But as Spike stilled and Xander looked at me expectantly, I was completely baffled to my role in the sex.

“You’re up, pup,” Spike said into Xander’s neck, but it was obvious he was talking to me.

“Don’t you want to let Xander finish?” I asked, but Spike only shook his head and wouldn’t look at me.

“We both get him,” Xander explained, but I wasn’t getting it and stared at him blankly. “You, me, fucking him together. He’s ours, isn’t he?” Xander asked, but there was no question in his voice. If Xander hadn’t been with Spike, a part of me knew he’d become an alpha in his own right. His attitude, sometimes, was all confidence and cock.

“But… We won’t both fit.”

“You’ll fit,” Spike said. “Just go slow.”

“How do you know?” I wondered, and I realized later that it might have been an insensitive question.

“Spike… He’s told me that this wouldn’t be his first time taking two,” Xander explained, nuzzling Spike’s neck. “Right, love?” he asked, and Spike nodded.   
            “That bint Drusilla used to be into some pretty kinky stuff,” Spike admitted. “When she got bored or in a particularly bad mood, she’d strap on a steel dildo and fuck me while Angelus held me on his cock.”

“But… it’s been a long time since then, hasn’t it?”

“Funny thing… You never really forget a lesson like that. It’d be years between sessions with the two of them, but it never mattered how long they waited. Once I was used to it, it was never as bad as the first couple times. Eventually, I even started to like it.”

“I… Are you sure?” I asked, but he only dignified that with a nod. I moved up behind him then, kneeling over the body that was wrapped around Xander, and tried to figure out how Spike’s body would stretch to accommodate my thickness as well as Xander’s.

“Won’t it hurt?” I found myself asking, and it made Spike hesitate.

“It’s supposed to hurt,” he said at length, and I could hear the unspoken words echoing in the room.

It’s supposed to hurt… for you to forgive me.

My protests died in my throat, knowing maybe better than anyone what it meant to bare pain to prove your intent, your worth. I moved the last few inches to Spike, letting my cock follow Xander’s until it pressed against Spike’s hole. Xander pulled out until only the crown of his cock was still splitting Spike. Reaching under Spike to grasp our cocks together, Xander pressed us both forward. Spike’s body clenched at the intrusion, and I could feel the ring of muscle at his opening spasming in an effort to keep us out.

“Shhh,” Xander cooed, but in his current state of animalistic arousal it came out more as a growl than anything. “Breathe,” he advised.

It took a moment, and the first breath was stuttered and hesitant. With the next breath, though, he resumed his panting, and I felt his body loosen. Xander controlled the pace still, and gave a few shallow thrusts before surging forward and pushing us both inside of Spike.

It was tight. Not the, “Oh baby, you’re so tight!” kind of tight. The kind of tight that makes your dick look at you and go, “Dude, why’d you put me in a vice? What the hell did I do to you?” That kind of tight. It wasn’t pleasurable, and Spike gave a sound that was half shriek, half snarl to show his agreement. I doubted whether I could stay hard under that kind of pressure, but Spike began to pull away before I could. Xander stopped him, though, with a firm hand on the back of his spine. Splayed as it was on Spike’s pale skin, the spots littering the back of Xander’s hand stood out, his claws looking unnaturally long and dark.

“Relax,” Xander commanded, pulling back until he could press his forehead against Spike’s. “Just a little longer,” he promised, then kissed Spike in a way that made him forget about his pain, and I felt his body relax around my cock. With the painful pressure gone, I took advantage and began to move in short, hesitant thrusts. Spike moaned into Xander’s mouth and rocked with me. Xander chuckled, the hyena bringing out the cackle in the otherwise pleasant sound. Xander pulled Spike forward until he once again presented for me.

“Fuck him,” Xander told me, and it took little prompting for me to get to my knees, leaning over Spike’s back and plunging my length into him. He hissed in pain, but rocked into the thrust anyway. We soon had a steady rhythm going, with Spike and I doing most of the work and Xander holding Spike steady so that I could thrust into him. When our thrusts began to get desperate, Xander reached between us and grasped Spike’s erection, stroking him in tandem with my movements.

Spike came first, screaming his completion as his body clenched around us, growing almost unbearably tight before he sagged bonelessly in Xander’s grip, his muscles still twitching but completely relaxed. Xander chuckled again, pushing Spike onto my lap as he got to his knees and settled between our legs, pressing Spike’s knees up and plowing into him with such force that it made me gasp and Spike moan. But Xander didn’t even pause in his punishing pace, pounding into Spike and brushing past me until it was more than I could take. I came with a howl, snapping Spike’s hips down against my own and pumping heat deep inside him. Xander snarled a minute later and plunged inside, mixing his hot seed with mine and pushing both of them deeper inside Spike.

We collapsed after that, all of us too exhausted and boneless to even get up, and Spike was left with a sticky mess between his legs, but he didn’t seem to mind. As Xander licked dried tears from Spike’s face, I could tell that everything had been repaired between them, and I was able to relax for the first time in days.

“Will you stay with us?” I asked Spike.

“He doesn’t have a choice,” Xander replied, pulling him closer. “We won’t let him leave us,” Xander promised, and there was that alpha tone in his voice again. The one that told me he’d fight fang and claw if anything tried to separate us. It relieved me, even as I felt the same determination.

“Doesn’t matter,” Spike said finally, pulling me closer to the two of them. “Soon, we’ll be family. And family can never truly leave you.”


End file.
